Perception is Reality

January 21, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Perception is reality.

If someone feels something – whether or not you do – then they feel it.

Rather than trying to convince them to feel something else – which rarely ends with the results you’ll both want – acknowledge what they feel as accurate, then try to understand it and help figure out how to help them feel safe in what they feel.

Once you do that, you’re more likely to both get what you want.

Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

It’s OK to Ask for Praise

December 3, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s OK to ask someone to praise you once in awhile.

No matter how old we are, we need to be recognized for what we do. It’s nice when it “just happens.” However, sometimes, it doesn’t. Unfortunately, when it doesn’t happen, many times we take that as a reason to get resentful. Not only does that ruin our attitude and make us feel bad, but it can damage the relationships that matter most to us.

Instead of feeling bad about not being recognized, point out what you did. Say how you feel about it. Ask to be recognized.

You did well. You deserve it. It’s fine to ask for it.

Just remember to praise and compliment others as often as you can too.

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How to Forgive After a Divorce

November 20, 2012 by Featured Author

by Neil Keifer

When most people get married they hope it will last throughout their lifetime. However, sometimes that’s simply not the case. When two people get a divorce it can often turn ugly. This can leave both parties with resentment towards things done and said during a divorce. In order to move forward it is necessary to forgive the other party and move on. There are several key things to keep in mind if you have gone through a divorce and are trying to begin the healing process. [Read more…]

Give Thanks for Your Past

November 19, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Learn about your past before it’s too late.

It is a part of you and therefore will help shape your future.

As you gather with family and friends, remember this is a time to give thanks for what you have – including your history.

None of us would exist without so many before us. Find out who they are. Learn what they did.

Realize you are the culmination of all their hopes and dreams.

Then, give thanks yet again.

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Seeking Long-Term-Relationship, Must Share Common Values

October 24, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus

We are imperfect beings; therefore so too are our relationships.

We engage mouth before activating brain. We dismiss our partner’s concerns as irrelevant. We can be inconsiderate, petty, or cranky. It’s part of the human condition; we mess up, and since we live with others, we hurt them. We don’t intend to — but we cannot deny that we do. It matters not how much energy you put into it, nor how long you’ve been together; even the finest relationships cause some pain.

At our end of days, should we be so fortunate to take inventory of our most important relationships and can proclaim them as “good” more times than not; then indeed they were “good.”

A successful long-term-relationship is not without flaw; rather, it:

Incurs less damage during conflicts
Recovers from that hurt more quickly and fully
Tilts the scale in the direction of “happy” rather than “unhappy”

Short of choosing the wrong partner — those whose relationships fall asunder did not necessarily disagree more often than those with “good” relationships. Instead they had unrealistic expectations, conflating conflict with failure; and did not possess a method to handle disagreement when it raised its unpleasant, but unavoidable, head.

When any relationship is smack dab in the midst of a “rough patch,” our initial reaction is to flee the pain.

[Read more…]

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