by Neil Keifer
When most people get married they hope it will last throughout their lifetime. However, sometimes that’s simply not the case. When two people get a divorce it can often turn ugly. This can leave both parties with resentment towards things done and said during a divorce. In order to move forward it is necessary to forgive the other party and move on. There are several key things to keep in mind if you have gone through a divorce and are trying to begin the healing process.
It’s Good For Overall Health
Your health can be affected by the hurt feelings, resentment and anger that you carry around with you due to a divorce. An ugly divorce can cause the individuals to become depressed and stressed out which can lead to illnesses. As hard as it is too go through a divorce, it’s even harder to not live your best life once the divorce is finalized. It may help you move forward by realizing that you are hurting your own health by carrying around all this unnecessary baggage from divorcing your spouse.
Putting Things Into Perspective
It helps to put things into perspective after a divorce. Even if your partner said and did things during your divorce that were mean and downright hurtful, it may help you get over it by putting yourself in their place to try to gauge what their perspective was during that time. You may find yourself surprised with how able your are to come to terms with why they acted as they did. Eventually you might even be able to forgive and forget and move on will no ill feelings towards your former spouse.
Time Helps Heal
Even if you are having problems getting over your divorce in the beginning, just remember that as time goes on it may be easier to move forward. Right after a divorce the pain seems to be fresh and the many hurts suffered are still at the forefront of both individual’s minds. As time goes on, those memories of negative words and mean actions tend to be forgotten. As you continue on with the normal rhythm of your life you will find that you will dwell less and less on the divorce and will be more focused on the future.
Concluding Thoughts
Going through a divorce can be a painful experience for anyone and you may think that you will never get over it. Fortunately most people do eventually get over a divorce, live a full life and in some instances will find love again. By keeping the above information in mind it may help you come to terms with your divorce and have realistic expectations about moving forward and the healing process.
Keep in mind that you may need help to get over the hurt of a divorce. It’s a good idea to talk to friends or family members who you trust or to seek counseling from a licensed therapist if necessary. The sooner you get over your divorce, the sooner you can start enjoying your life again to the fullest.
About the Author: Neil Keifer has worked extensively as a relationship counselor and enjoys sharing his insights around the internet. His articles appear on various online relationship publications, visit the Dating Website for more information and advice.
I think the hardest part about divorce is the affect on kids. It can be hard to explain things to them and let them know its not their fault.
Great point! Thanks so much for your comment Jason. Please keep in touch.