Monday Motivational Memo: Overcoming Sadness & Fear

August 22, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

When changing your habits, do not focus on what you have to give up; look toward what you will receive in the end.

Change involves letting go of something, whether it’s a relationship or a way of life. That can be sad or frightening. Since no one WANTS to feel those, we tend to hang on longer than it’s healthier or productive to do so.

If, however, we turn our attention towards what we will receive from the change, it’s more inspirational. We are more inclined to move in the direction of what we want.

If you’re feeling stuck in your progress, it helps to remind yourself more of why you’re moving forward and less of what you have to give up to get it.

Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

Using a Positive Mental Attitude to Help Get Anything That You Want

August 19, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

By Ryan McCormack

Most people do not seem to realize just how important having a Positive Mental Attitude is in everything that we do. For example if you were to attend an interview for a job and you had both the qualifications and the experience for the job and still did not get the job, then you were either dressed inappropriately or came across as negative. Even if we don’t speak negatively but our body language is negative, other people will notice. Never keep your arms folded when speaking to someone especially if you are attending an interview and always make eye contact when speaking to the interviewer. It shows the interviewer that you are positive and shows integrity.

This is only one thing that having a positive mental attitude will help you with. There are many more such as getting a girlfriend/boyfriend because you are more likely to say the right words at the beginning if you are positive. So how do you gain a positive mental attitude if you have conditioned yourself into being negative. Well that’s an easy one word answer, PRACTICE. Remember the famous saying, Practice makes… PERFECT. I want you to remember that but with a difference because no one can become perfect, we all make mistakes from time to time after all we are only human. In fact change the word perfect to permanent because if we practice something long enough then it will stick in our brains and then it will become a habit. That’s what we ultimately want to achieve here we want to be positive not by force but rather by habit.

A habit is caused by doing the same thing over and over again. To get rid of a bad habit in this case thinking negatively we must 1st replace it with another habit, that is why people tend to fail when they try to give up smoking. They fail to replace the habit (smoking) with another habit I should know I used to be a smoker I tried and failed until I got the right formula for me. So what can we replace thinking negatively with? Quite simply start thinking Positively and make positivity become your habit instead.

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Stop Worrying so Much

August 15, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Worry is interest on a debt not yet owed.

We get confused. We think if we can just worry “hard enough,” we can make things go better.

Logically, that doesn’t make sense. But this isn’t about logic. It’s about emotion.

If something is worrying you, follow this simple plan:

1) Ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” If the answer is minimal, refocus your thoughts on something else.
2) If it’s severe, ask yourself, “Can I do anything about this?”
3) If the answer is “no,” it’s time to get support and let go. If the answer is “yes,” it’s time to do something.

No path leads to more worrying.

Worrying depletes your ability to solve the tough problems, and ruins your mood the remainder of the time.

Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

Who do You Think You Are? How We Describe Ourself Matters

August 10, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I have a very unassuming, quick-response question.

Don’t ponder the answer; just blurt it out. Ready? (Um, that’s not the question.)

Here we go: “Who are you?”

At first blush, it’s such an innocuous query and our replies come by rote. We provide our name. But, in reality, that’s not accurate, because my name is not WHO I am, it’s WHAT I am called; it’s a label.

Okay, take it down a level: Who is — in my case — Scott Marcus?

Well, I could reply, “a man,” “father,” or even “American.” Those are all true — and actually more descriptive than responding with my name. They deliver more detail, but are still painfully vague. One person’s “man” creates images of football players, while another’s is an accountant, neither of which fit me. Piling on additional descriptors becomes the next step, “56 year old speaker, writer, father of two sons, married, lives in Eureka.”

Certainly this constructs a more vibrant portrayal, but it is still soooooo scratching the surface. For example, should I move from my coastal community to the Arizona desert, would I then be a different person? Better yet, am I still the same person I was a few years ago, or do every 365 days establish a new being?

Circumstances change, but that alone does not mean we are no longer who we were; there is a consistency that remains our core. These modifiers therefore, no matter how many we use, are not answering the core issue. Something lacks.

So, why does this matter?

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Using Emotions & Feelings for Effective, Long-Lasting Change

August 3, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

**I am currently reading The Wealthy Speaker by Jane Atkinson.**

Between its covers, Ms. Atkinson, devotes few pages to discussing cash flow or spreadsheets, while much ink is dedicated to changing one’s thoughts about money. It is her premise that our income basically determined more by how we think than by the actions we take. Of course, those considerations then produce behaviors, which lead to results. Therefore, if we “dig down” and adjust them, we will do what we do in an altered manner. This provides fresh results improving our business.

In effect, change your thoughts; change your financial life.

The barricade is our ol’ buddy, Denial.

As she mentions, thought patterns, much like a river cutting a path through granite, our etched into our psyche over time, with much repetition. To refashion such embedded patterns takes a great deal of effort — and it’s not like we’re not busy already, right? Besides, “there’s always tomorrow.”

The author suggests that such transformation only occurs once “we’re hit by a two-by-four.” Of course, she’s speaking figuratively, not literally. (I hate it when people say “literally” when they mean “figuratively.” Sorry, pet peeve…)

Let me expand: Suppose you’re in a floundering relationship. You didn’t get there overnight; it began subtly, “the small things.” For example, you don’t talk as much. “It’s no big deal,” you think, “We’re just busy right now.” That might be accurate; having said that, “something” still feels off. But, you put it to back burner until you have more evidence — or time.

After awhile, your “couple’s time” becomes more sparse. You are roommates more than partners, on parallel tracks with no intersections. Logically, you can explain it away. “We’ve both got so much on our plates; things will get back to normal soon.” No action taken.

Soon, intimacy, in all its forms, has become a memory. There is now real distance, even a bit of resentment. Nobody brings anything up; you’re not even sure you want to broach the subject. Also, the chasm is now an additional barrier. Oh sure, you’re thinking about “making some changes” when things settle down. For now, it’s “stay the course.”

Then comes the two-by-four: He wants “out.”