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You are here: Home / Archives for perceptions

Louisiana, Minnesota, Dallas from Multiple Angles

July 13, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus

Tumult reigns.

In Louisiana and Minnesota, police tragically killed two innocent black men. Later that same week, the city of Dallas was held hostage as a vile murderous reprehensible individual ripped asunder the hopeful futures of five brave police officers, who were ironically protecting the rights of a crowd protesting the deaths of the two aforementioned black victims. Of course these are not the only examples of violence tearing through our national fabric of late. As President Obama said while consoling a grieving, shocked city at the memorial, “I’ve been to too many of these.”

The loss of any life is a loss to more than one.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, News, Newspaper Column Tagged With: black and white thinking, disagreement, perception is reality, perception of others, perceptions, vehement disagreement

Getting Out of My Own Way

January 7, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Of late, I’ve taken on yet another new assignment.

I’m “chat coaching,” a steep-learning-curve experience I assure you.

live-chat-keyboard

Should you be unfamiliar with chat coaching, I shall explain. I log into a website from my home computer, which is connected to a main server in cyberspace. On the other side of the void, should someone need guidance, they click on a button on their screen and their “call” is routed to me on my computer. He or she types. I reply via the same method. If you were asking, “Wouldn’t it be easier with a phone?” The answer is probably “yes.” However, that’s not how it works and I’ve agreed to the terms. To be honest, I’m actually growing to enjoy the procedure – short of the carpal tunnel issues for which I must be on guard.

In effect, this type of communication can be best analogized as a very slow moving conversation, especially since the policies require appropriate grammar, correct spelling, and avoiding emoticons and abbreviations (like “BTW” or “LOL”). The repercussions of having such time in between transactions allow one’s thoughts to drift, which lends itself to me making judgments — fair or otherwise — about who is on the other end, based entirely on how long it takes for a reply and what shows up when it happens.

With that as backstory, today someone logged in and began the conversation with the most ridiculously moronic questions.

“Really?” I thought, “Are you serious?”

Her query was so “beyond the pale,” that I first assumed I had snared a “troll.” (No, not the long-haired, full-bellied, naked toys of the seventies. Rather these are nasty individuals who enjoy annoying, frustrating, or insulting other people in cyberspace, merely because they can get away with it.)

Yet, with the passage of a few paragraphs of correspondence, I understood that the young woman on the other end wasn’t trolling, but was instead severely developmentally disabled. Obviously, her skill set allowed use of the system but her text was burdened with so many typos, it was near impossible to untangle, and the speed at which she replied would make a beginning typist feel like a thirty-year executive secretary. But most importantly, she couldn’t grasp even the simplest concepts.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Baby Boomers, Communicating, Gratitude, Inspiration, Newspaper Column Tagged With: frustration, judging others, judgments, perception of others, perceptions

Video: Killing Us Softly 4 – Trailer

February 4, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I think we’ve all seen lots of videos about what the media does to change the way women look – and the repercussions of that. This five minute video show lots of examples and is extremely powerful and shows how this practice affects all of us.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Current Events, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Video, Weight Loss Tagged With: body image issues, media, middle aged women, perceptions, perfectionism, weight loss, women's health

It Could Almost Always be Worse

October 31, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

If the economy is not doing well, don’t blame our house.

We’ve been pouring out enough cash to keep a crew of drunken sailors spending through re-enlistment.

It’s not necessarily because we want to; it’s just — well, you know — sometimes life kicks in. And when you own a house, it needs repairs. Unfortunately, they’re all at one time. We weighed the alternatives: save money versus living in a cave, but what can I say? We like the finer things — like walls.

Within the last week, we had to hire someone to cover up several patches on the house’s exterior where paint was peeling. Normally, my wife and I would do that, but the spots were near the roof and we didn’t have a ladder that long. (Besides, either of us on a high ladder? Not a good idea, even on the best days…)

While getting those walls retouched, we discovered windows with leaky frames. Ka-ching! That’ll set up back some coin. As it also turns out, the bathroom is leaking like a sieve in to the garage. It turns out we are putting a plumber to work now too, and — because of said leak — might also hire a carpenter. We sure hope so! We just love stimulating the local economy!

As they say in those TV ads, “But, wait! There’s more!”

Every year, we avoid turning on our home’s heater until November first. Since October can be chilly, we practically sleep in parkas, while donning sweaters and jackets all day long. I’m not complaining (much), because we save a few dollars — as well as feel we’re being good stewards of the environment. I don’t know if you’ve looked at a calendar, but — Hooray! It’s November! “Sweet heater, bring unto us your warmth!”

Guess what. I flipped the switch, and, nothing. Nada. Silence. No wondrous balminess doth emanate from its magical vents. I’m just guessin’ here, but I’ll wager that repair won’t be a freebie.

As the adage goes, “When life gives you lemons, they’re usually really bitter, nasty, ones.”

Okay, maybe that’s not the expression, but it feels like it, because on top of the home repairs, a few family members have hit rough patches. We’re not codependent, but there’s also a set of priorities by which we live. So, when family needs you, you do what you can, which in this case involved our checking account.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: family, Gratitude, humor, Inspiration, mental health, Newspaper Column Tagged With: carpenter, disrepair, home maintenance, hurricane katrina, hurricane sandy, life gives you lemons, paint, perceptions, when life gives you lemons

Who do You Think You Are? How We Describe Ourself Matters

August 10, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I have a very unassuming, quick-response question.

Don’t ponder the answer; just blurt it out. Ready? (Um, that’s not the question.)

Here we go: “Who are you?”

At first blush, it’s such an innocuous query and our replies come by rote. We provide our name. But, in reality, that’s not accurate, because my name is not WHO I am, it’s WHAT I am called; it’s a label.

Okay, take it down a level: Who is — in my case — Scott Marcus?

Well, I could reply, “a man,” “father,” or even “American.” Those are all true — and actually more descriptive than responding with my name. They deliver more detail, but are still painfully vague. One person’s “man” creates images of football players, while another’s is an accountant, neither of which fit me. Piling on additional descriptors becomes the next step, “56 year old speaker, writer, father of two sons, married, lives in Eureka.”

Certainly this constructs a more vibrant portrayal, but it is still soooooo scratching the surface. For example, should I move from my coastal community to the Arizona desert, would I then be a different person? Better yet, am I still the same person I was a few years ago, or do every 365 days establish a new being?

Circumstances change, but that alone does not mean we are no longer who we were; there is a consistency that remains our core. These modifiers therefore, no matter how many we use, are not answering the core issue. Something lacks.

So, why does this matter?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Change, Habits, Happiness, Inspiration, mental health, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude, Psychology, Relationships, Self Talk Tagged With: attitude, core issue, emotions, feelings, lifestyle change, modifiers, motivation, perception is reality, perceptions, portrayal, quality of life, reflex, scott marcus

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