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How to Advance Your Business and Career by Doing Your Own Retreat

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Note from Scott: One cannot separate his/her personal life from his or her business life. Try as you might, if one is not going well, it will spill over into the other. This detailed article, from Tim Richardson, helps you move forward in your career and personal life at the same time.

Here is an idea that can revolutionize your business and your life.

Many organizations have retreats but how many professionals do you know that take time to go offsite and do some thinking and strategic planning about their career and life?

How about planning some meaningful time to go away all by yourself and put some focused effort into your career? This process is commonly called holding a retreat though I like to refer to it as an advance – after all you want to go forward.

Your thinking, concentration ability and focus will be enhanced when you can get away to an environment that is conducive to creative thinking and planning. Find a place where there are no ringing telephones, pending projects, or distractions of other kinds. To maximize your productivity, leave behind your beeper, turn off the ringer on your cell phone, and block out some time where you don’t feel rushed by other commitments. If you completely clear your calendar and don’t call in for messages, your productivity will be greatly improved. I read recently that Bill Gates even copied my idea! Except Bill does a whole week and calls it his “think week”.

He was quoted in USA Weekend:

Ours is a very fast-moving field. You have to be able to step back from it. Many years ago, I decided to take a week every year and absorb myself in thinking many years ahead. I get colleagues to put together what Ph.D. theses I should read, what products I should play with, what memos I should look at. So, it’s been, except for sleeping a little bit, day and night all by myself uninterrupted.

If Bill Gates can do this, I would hope that most of us could find at least one day to spend in proactive thinking and planning. I did my first session on a beautiful remote beach in the panhandle of Florida. I spent some time working on the beach and some inside at the beach cottage I had rented. That one day advance resulted in more career growth and action than any other single thing I have done in my business. Since then, I’ve had a one or two-day session every year. I have done my advances in State Parks, at Bed and Breakfast Inns, on a camping trip, and in hotel rooms. Think of an environment that you enjoy and one that stimulates your creativity. You might try the mountains, a quiet park, at the beach or lakeside. Before you leave, give some thought as to what you want to accomplish on your planning retreat.

Here are some things to consider when you advance: [Read more…]

Breaking the Eating Cycle: Why Bad Habits Trigger Bad Habits

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It’s important to understand that bad habits trigger bad habits.

I call it “The Eating Cycle.”

In a nutshell, here’s how it works.

Something “happens.” We react to the “something” with a variety of feelings (listed under reaction to the event). Our way of dealing with those feelings is to eat. When we eat too much, we gain weight. Because we do not like gaining weight, we have a reaction to the weight gain, which is usually one of those listed. That triggers us to eat, which causes us to gain weight. You can see the cycle goes on and on.

How to break the cycle?

If we eat too much, we’ll gain weight; there is no way around that. So, we can only break the cycle by reacting differently to the weight gain. In other words, reminding ourselves “it could have been worse,” or “we don’t do it as often as we used to,” or “realizing on the grand scale of things, a minor weight gain is not the end of the world.” That will minimize the urge to eat.

The other option is that we learn how to handle our reactions differently. So, if we’re frustrated, we call a friend (instead of eat). If we’re depressed, we take a walk (instead of eat). If we’re angry, we do some activity to work it out (instead of eat). We don’t have to do it very long, just for a few minutes, long enough to break the cycle.

Remember, you cannot drop a habit, you replace it with a different habit. What will you do to fill the void left by changing your habit? (If you need help, I’m here.)

Unplugged: Getting Back to What Matters Most

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It’s time to take back some time. I’ve lost irretrievable time – sucked away into the black hole of technology. Of course, it’s my fault for not managing it better but I am claiming it back. Starting today, Mother’s Day until Father’s Day I am going cold turkey. No Facebook, no Twitter, no personal email and no other social media of any kind during this time. While I THINK there are some business benefits, I haven’t realized enough to warrant the estimated 4-6 hours a week I spend on it – hours I’ll now spend doing other things. Of course, there are some benefits of social media and technology but I think there is a great deal of time suck too. There are three things that inspired my action to go on a technology diet Sabbatical (which also includes a diet from the codependency I have with my cell phone). [Read more…]

Agreeing to Disagree: How to have a Civil Disagreement

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How you handle conflict can prevent a whole lot of drama and bring you to resolution far quicker.

In the movie, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Harvey challenges Butch for leadership of the Hole-in-the-Wall Gang. Butch delays the confrontation by saying, “No, no, not yet. Not until me and Harvey get the rules straightened out.”

Harvey, confused, responds, “Rules? In a knife fight? No rules.”

Butch immediately kicks Harvey, dropping him like a sack of stolen loot. Says Cassidy, “Well, if there ain’t going to be any rules, let’s get the fight started. Someone count. One, two three, go.”

Sundance blurts, “One, two three, go,” at which point Butch knocks Harvey out.

Butch, obviously not concerned with a long-lasting peaceful relationship, might argue his method of conflict resolution was highly effective. However, his technique is frowned upon today (as tempting as it might feel in our darker moments).


Reality Stinks

Step one is realize that even the finest communicators — with the more honorable intentions — occasionally find themselves in hot water. Communication is far from an exact science, and even when it’s not our fault, the Big Hairy Argument Monster still tromps into our lives. We cannot avoid him; try as we may.

So, when you find yourself at loggerheads with a co-worker, customer, or spouse or life partner, it’s essential to understand that how you handle it makes an enormous, long-lasting difference. By making a simple agreement in how to disagree, we add a basic structure that keep things moving forward, clears things up quicker, and prevents long-lasting, lingering bad feelings, which could damage the relationship. In my workshop presentation, “Oops, I didn’t Mean it To Come out that Way,” I go over some simple tools to help out, following is one of those rules.

Four Simple Rules for Disagreements

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Political Posturing, News Anchors, and Better Communication

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So today, I’m watching a news network and the anchor has three panelists. To “balance” it out, there’s a GOP strategist, a Democratic strategist, and a “neutral” analyst. I don’t remember the question that the anchor asked (and it doesn’t really matter) because once the discussion got going, it got animated. There was a lot of energy and of course some disagreement between the GOP and Democrat.

It could have been either one but in this case it was the GOP guy who started “powering” over anything that was said contrary to his position. When the Dem countered, the GOP would cut him off and speak louder. All I could really hear was him; he didn’t call names and he wasn’t condescending, and – to be honest – what I could hear of his arguments even made sense (although I basically disagree with them).

After the discussion ended, I had an image of him talking to his friends who had watched the show and they were probably all saying “Wow! You blew him out of the water” or “You showed him” or “He couldn’t hold a candle to you” or something akin. Congratulations would abound.

That’s when it dawned on me, his intention – as far as I’m concerned – was not to have a discussion but to prove his point.

How Can I Use This to be Happier?

When someone asks me my advice, my first response (after confirming that they really want it) is always: “What’s your intention in what you’re doing?” Almost nothing matters more in one’s actions or communications than understanding the intention. Most people do not take the time to analyze that simple question and they find themselves in trouble.

[Read more…]

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Scott "Q" Marcus
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