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You are here: Home / Archives for weight gain

Feeling Healthy or Feeling Shame

May 30, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I attempt to be transparent.

It isn’t always easy because we all possess “secret places;” those spaces we don’t reveal; too embarrassed or ashamed to admit out loud. Like you, I have a firm moral center; therefore my “dark places” are not deep black, more appropriately they are shades of grey. Who knows, if I let them loose to be washed in open sunlight, I might learn they’re simply “off-white.”

That belies the issue: I’m not proud of them.

That’s part of the human condition; none of us have achieved absolute self-acceptance. Sure, we don a strong veneer, and generally, we’re pretty good about keeping in place our mask. Yet, it’s still one foot in front of the other on the road to self-acceptance, occasionally stumbling in potholes.

Lately, I’ve been in a funk.

It originates when I wake up with foggy, upsetting recollections of distressing dreams. Although they evaporate with the morning light, an unsettling, discomforting residual coating on my psyche remains. The day commences with me drained, overwhelmed, and leery of what may come. In effect, my attitude “sucks,” which is unlike me.

We all go experience that, passing it off to “one of those days,” or a “rough patch.” But when does it become “normal,” and one realizes you’re no longer who you were, but rather who you have become?

One thing leads to another, and I end up attempting to enhance my outlook by falling back on an old habit — for me, that’s eating. Logically, will it help? No, of course not. But it has nothing to do with rationality when you’re stuffing granola bars in your pie hole at 11 PM. That is naked raw jagged emotion; I’m “medicating,” pure and simple.

Medications have side effects.

In this instance, it’s weight gain. When I gain weight — especially self-induced — I become depressed. When that happens, I seek more “treatment,” leading to more pounds, which…  Well, you see the cycle.

Should this be happening to someone seeking my counsel, I’d ask, “What precipitated this change in behavior? When did it start?”

My answer: October 25, the day I was hit by the car while riding my bike.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, mental health, Newspaper Column, Self Talk Tagged With: attitude, emotion, emotions, feelings, happiness, health, medications, moral center, psyche, quality of life, self acceptance, thankfulness, weight gain

Fry Me a River: Trying to Diet in New Orleans

October 5, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

She had a slightly Cajun accent, “What’ll it be honey?”

Adorned in a blue apron, order pad in hand, poised to take my order, she was patient; but the restaurant was hopping, so I dare not send her away. Everyone knows the prime rule when it comes to waiters: Tell them you need another minute to make up your mind and they disappear for an hour. I had to decide immediately or starve.

The problem was, when one’s traveling in the deep south, as we were, everything — and I do mean EVERYTHING — is fried. Just reading the menu was causing a weight gain.

I stalled, “Take their orders first. I’ll be ready when you get back to me.”

She turned to Rich. “What’ll it be honey?” she repeated.

Rich, familiar with southern food, knew instantly what he wanted. “We’ll start with an appetizer of fried alligator.”

My head snapped, “Fried alligator? Really?” I’m not a fan of alligators, but my raised-in-California-with-lots-of-salads mentality had trouble imagining me devouring something that, not too long ago, would have reversed roles.

Ignoring me, he continued, “Then, a side of fried sardines, oh — and a few fried collard green wontons.” He turned to the two of us, “Sound OK?”

Margie, nodding, chimed in, “What about some hush-puppies?”

“What are hush puppies?” I asked. It was difficult enough imagining fried alligator. To me, hush puppies were soft, comfortable shoes. Although I was confident we wouldn’t be eating suede; after learning of fried sardines and alligator, I had a wee doubt.

“They’re great,” she said. “They’re sweet, doughy, bread balls. You’ll love them.”

“How are they prepared?”

“Fried.”

I could feel cholesterol plugging my arteries even as I sat.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, mental health, Personal, Power of Attitude Tagged With: alligator, alligators, appetizer, apron, cajun accent, deep fried ravioli, deep south, fried alligator, humor, hush puppies, lasagna, southern food, waiters, waitress, weight gain, wontons

How to Change Your Habits to be Happier, Healthier and More Productive

June 8, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Most of life is done by rote.

For most of us, alarm clocks buzz the same time every morning. The average grocery store stocks over 38,000 items; yet the standard shopper goes to the same store every week, usually on the same day, and chooses from the same few dozen items every outing. We become brand loyal, eating our meals at approximately the same period every day, leave for work at a uniform time, drive a standard route, and return home at a consistent hour every night. Evenings consist of consuming one of a few “favorite” dinners. Entertainment consists of books or magazines from a few select genres and a stable of favorite authors; or maybe a regular line-up of TV shows, which we watch while sitting in “our usual place,” and snacking — or not — on the same foods we had yesterday at the same time. At day’s end, we retire at the same time, even sleeping with the same person (hopefully), only to repeat these patterns come dawn.

This is not to suggest we are unimaginative, bland, nor boring; rather to illustrate that we are creatures of habit; no if’s, and’s, or butt’s about it.

Reality is these habits make life easier. Picture the above scenario where every single day consisted of an entirely new routine. Exciting? Sure — for a little while. After that, just plain exhausting.

The downside of a life assembled on a foundation of habits are the “side effects;” those unexpected results of our patterns. Make no mistake however; they are every bit as much a part of the habit as are the results we seek.  For example, if I’m bored, I eat. If I’m angry, I eat. If I’m sad, I eat. It’s a common routine. It allows me to feel better fast. After all, chips or ice cream not only alleviate boredom, but also go a long way toward holding negative feelings at bay — for the short term. The side effect is a weight gain. I get to feel good quickly, for the simple price of obesity long term.

Conversely, some people read a book when bored; when sad, call a friend; and when angry, take a brisk walk. (There is a clinical term for such folks: “Skinny.”) Whereby their habits also provide comfort, the side effects are healthier. Should I long for such results, I must also develop similar habits.

The thing is that it’s extremely difficult to “drop” habits. Since their sole purpose is to fill voids, simply abolishing them make those holes more painful. This in turn, triggers the very behavior we were trying to banish — which puts our actions at odds with our feelings. In a case like that, emotions almost always win out and the habit — and its side effects — strengthens.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: goals, Habits, Inspiration, Motivation, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Temptation, Productivity, Self Talk, Success, Weight Loss, willpower Tagged With: boredom, creatures of habit, mistake, negative feelings, obesity, unexpected results, weight gain

Breaking the Eating Cycle: Why Bad Habits Trigger Bad Habits

May 5, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s important to understand that bad habits trigger bad habits.

I call it “The Eating Cycle.”

In a nutshell, here’s how it works.

Something “happens.” We react to the “something” with a variety of feelings (listed under reaction to the event). Our way of dealing with those feelings is to eat. When we eat too much, we gain weight. Because we do not like gaining weight, we have a reaction to the weight gain, which is usually one of those listed. That triggers us to eat, which causes us to gain weight. You can see the cycle goes on and on.

How to break the cycle?

If we eat too much, we’ll gain weight; there is no way around that. So, we can only break the cycle by reacting differently to the weight gain. In other words, reminding ourselves “it could have been worse,” or “we don’t do it as often as we used to,” or “realizing on the grand scale of things, a minor weight gain is not the end of the world.” That will minimize the urge to eat.

The other option is that we learn how to handle our reactions differently. So, if we’re frustrated, we call a friend (instead of eat). If we’re depressed, we take a walk (instead of eat). If we’re angry, we do some activity to work it out (instead of eat). We don’t have to do it very long, just for a few minutes, long enough to break the cycle.

Remember, you cannot drop a habit, you replace it with a different habit. What will you do to fill the void left by changing your habit? (If you need help, I’m here.)

Filed Under: Articles, Change, Diet, Exercise, Group Support, Weight Loss Tagged With: bad habits, eating cycle, feelings, gain weight, gaining weight, weight gain

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