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You are here: Home / Archives for News

This is Not Normal

August 7, 2019 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

My purpose — as I understand the direction of my editors, as well as my own moral compass — is to try and bring to you a glimmer of light in your day.

As boldly evident, there is much darkness; and whether I write about habit change, attitude, communication, or attempt to crack wise; that objective remains my North Star. To stay true to course, I attempt to steer free of politics (although those who know me know that I have very strong opinions).

Today, I cannot be silent; it would be morally wrong.

Moreover, honestly, I am also finding it near impossible to remain hopeful. That is not me.

We are chewed up yet again by horrific, tragic, awful, terrible, unconscionable, outrageous stories of more mass shootings. This time, the names of the cities are El Paso and Dayton. (Gilroy, barely a week past, seems a distant memory.) I list only cities, as posting the victims’ names would heartbreakingly take more column inches than allocated print space.

I — and I imagine, you — feel like I have been rammed head-first through a meat grinder of emotions unwelcomed, undesirable, and uninvited; mercilessly whipped by a cat o’ nine tails in a sinister torture scene from a B-quality horror movie. We are pin balls bouncing through shock, fear, disbelief, powerlessness, grief, anger; desperately attempting to reclaim balance and serenity, only again to be rocketed off against our desires into the emotional sewage. It is a nightmare from which we cannot pinch ourselves awake.

Whereby we attempt to shield our damaged psyche in denial and say — more a prayer than a fact — it cannot happen here; that too is what the people of Orlando, Las Vegas, and Poway most assuredly believed.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Current Events, Newspaper Column, Rant Tagged With: compassion, Hope, mass shooting, News, violence

This Time, We Are All Thai

July 4, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I really was planning to put out a brand-spanking new column today.

However, as my grandmother used to say,

“Man plans, God laughs.”

At least this time, I’m laughing with optimism, not cynicism.

In case you’ve missed it, a dozen Thai boys, aged 11 to 16, and their coach, disappeared when flooding trapped them in a cave a few weeks ago. After a desperate ten-day search, in what can be described as no less than a miracle, they’ve been found, surviving in an air pocket half a mile underground and 1½ miles into the cave. All things considered, they’re healthy.

That’s the good news.

“We found them safe. But the operation isn’t over,” said the governor of the province. The divers who discovered them had to make their way through a byzantine, water-filled up-and-down passageway which is extremely narrow, making it difficult for them to even fit through it with their gear. They were repeatedly blocked by rising water that filled sections of the cave and forced them to withdraw. Nonetheless, they persevered.

The boys however are not trained for such arduous work; none of them knowing how to swim, yet alone dive. Therefore, figuring out their escape plan is problematic. It is estimated that they might have to live underground for weeks — or even months — while a strategy to extract them is developed.

We’re not out of the woods — or more accurately, cave — quite yet.

In following this story, the feeling I have, is mostly of hope. Yet, despite literally thousands of people working 24/7 to bring these young men topside, the road home is as complicated as the tunnels that must be navigated for safe return.

In October, 2010 the entire world watched as 33 Chilean trapped miners emerged to safety. Ironically (or maybe not) the “attitudinal climate” back then paralleled today’s. Therefore, I can only hope and affirm that the outcome in 2018 will also be the same. I believe that if we can picture such a result, we too will be able to cheer collectively the good news we know is waiting to happen.

Back then, our “leaders” (quotation marks necessary) were acting with a prevalence of boorish, childish, self-absorbed behaviors (sound familiar?). Political discourse then — and now —  once considered noble and eloquent, had degraded to what one would overhear between bullies in a kindergarten sandbox.

Virtually nothing positive seems to have been accomplished.

The rivalries endure, even harsher. Our planet hurts. More people suffer. Has anything changed?

When I originally wrote of the mineworkers, after having been trapped 70 days in a Chilean mine, they were being hoisted, one by one, through a narrow tube, from half mile underground, to the loving embrace of friends, family, and an enrapt world. To survive, they supported, encouraged, and counseled each other. In a place literally as close to Hell as any humans have ever existed, their better Angels held forth.

When Florencio Avalos, the first to emerge, exited the wire cage that brought him topside, the entire world was Chilean. We felt the embrace of his wife and the relief of his child. We cried tears of joy as he breathed in fresh air for the first time in over two months. We shared the bear hug with the Chilean president and our chests swelled with pride while the crowd chanted “Chi-Chi-Chi! Le-Le-Le!” With each man’s emergence from 622 meters below the Atacama Desert, we willingly experienced it — more accurately, longed for it — again and again and again.

From tragedy rose hope, like the Phoenix capsule in which the miners emerged into the Chilean sun.

They survived, in no small part, because they knew they were one; a lesson oft overlooked.

Now, again, we wait. This drama plays out half-a-world distant. Their nationality, race and ages are as dissimilar from each other as are the climates in which they live. Yet, we — each of us, all of us — yearns for the same outcome as that which took place south of the equator almost a decade past.

In our present environment, we NEED for these dozen young men to emerge, blinking in the sun, embraced by family; virtually by the entire world. Our days are so dark, we’re counting on good news.  Until that happens — and I know it will because I manage to retain my faith in the Human Spirit — we need to be reminded to be more grateful for what we have. Personally, I might not like the fog, but at least I can hold my wife’s hand and walk freely into it whenever I choose.

Today, we are all Thai.

About the author: Scott “Q” Marcus is a THINspirational speaker and author. Since losing 70 pounds over 23 years ago, he works with overloaded people and organizations who are looking to improve communication, change bad habits, and reduce stress. He can be reached for consulting, workshops, or presentations at 707.442.6243 or scottq@scottqmarcus.com. He will sometimes work in exchange for chocolate.

Filed Under: Current Events, Group Support, Inspiration, Newspaper Column Tagged With: inspiration, News, relationships, rescue

Choosing Peace

August 9, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I remember the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Yes, I was young, and not totally aware of the implications at hand; still I recall my parents’ fear and anxiety as they sat transfixed, watching President Kennedy on our grainy black and white television. Images of empty grocery shelves come to my mind; whether I actually saw them first hand, or am remembering from documentaries I’ve seen over the years, I admit I can’t be sure. That of which I am positive is remembering the collective sense of relief as the emergency subsided.

As then-secretary of state, Dean Rusk said, “We’re eyeball to eyeball and I think the other fellow just blinked.”

In most locations, this column shows up on or near the weekend. However, I obviously write it earlier in the week. At the time I’m writing this, the current news cycle has many saying we are as close to the precipice of nuclear war as we have been at any time since those terrifying days in October 1962. We are hoping someone blinks as I don’t think any of us have the desire (nor the need), to be poised at the cliff’s edge once again 55 years later.

Nonetheless, here we stand.

I have a dilemma. My beliefs say that the more we focus on something, the more likely we are to make it real. I’ve seen it happen repeatedly in my own life. Does that infer that my fear of a military exchange is made more probable by my thoughts? Am I contributing to the problem? Obviously, it’s not a choice for which I wish, but with the level of trepidation as high as it is, it’s impossible to banish the notion completely.

To that end, maybe it would be of value to picture a softer outcome.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Conflict Management, Current Events Tagged With: affirmations, conflict, current events, News, politics

Avoiding the Seduction of Negative Thinking

June 7, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Each week, I find it more and more difficult to prevent the current news cycle from wrenching the reins of this column and hijacking it into the topic of current events.

If you have read my writing for a while – or I have had the pleasure of getting to know you in person – you know that I have very strong political views and believe that I can effectively argue for my causes, while still remaining respectful of those who respectfully disagree. So, it’s not that I think I should shy away from such discussions or that those topics don’t matter. Rather, there’s a place and time for them, and these 600-word missives are neither.

Having laid all that on the table, the state of the nation and world seeps into our collective consciousness; we cannot avoid it, even if we tried. There is no shield; nor is it wise to blind ourselves from what is happening around us. Yet, at times, I feel like I am marinating in a stagnant, slime-covered, putrid swamp and emerge as quickly as possible, begging to be purified.

The result to this onslaught of negativity and name calling is to wipe one’s hands of the whole repulsive situation, thinking,

“I’m done! Count me out! It’s never going to get any better. I can’t do anything about it. Why even bother to care?”

That attitude — even more than the events which triggered it — is the true, more pressing danger. We cannot allow ourselves the luxury of negative thinking. Sure, the negativity is enticing. It’s a simulated siren’s call, offering peace and quiet, cooing seductively, “Come here; forget your woes. Let me take care of you. You don’t need to think about it.”

“How is negative thinking a luxury?” you might ask.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, News, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude Tagged With: attitude, frustration, Hope, News, politics, stress

How The Shootings Have Affected Us: Finding the Best in Each Other

June 16, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

There were a dozen of us scattered about the tables in the coffee shop.

Some were working on computers, others having quiet conversations; personally, I was preparing for a class later that day. Of course, there were a handful of baristas behind the counter.

No one — including myself — paid much mind when he opened the door to enter.

He looked “relatively normal;” forty-something, about five and half feet in height. His clothes and dark brown hair were slightly disheveled and somewhat dirty; both of those could have been attributed to him being a workingman ending a long day. What was not “relatively normal” was as he stood at the entrance, blocking others from coming or going, he raised his voice and started shouting at us, making direct eye contact across the room with me.

At first I wasn’t sure what he was saying; caught off guard by what is certainly not expected or standard behavior.

The gist of his tirade was we “had better change teams immediately” or we were all “going to pay.” His screaming was steeped with fury and rage and punctuated with a string of expletives culminating in a warning about how he was going to “f” us all up. Stunned, we sat; gawking and puzzled, until he lifted something from near his worn shoes, slammed shut the door, turned on his heels, and disappeared into the foot traffic flowing along the thoroughfare.

We – the patrons and employees – glanced at each other. One of the servers, about to leave for her break, commented, “I think I’ll wait a few minutes.” Several moments passed; heart rates returned to normal. Our behaviors returned to what they were prior the rude interruption.

I have to be honest; when he bent down, I flinched.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Hope, News, Newspaper Column Tagged With: emotions, facing fear, News, overcoming fear, politics, sadness

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