No More Excuses

March 21, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

“Successful people find a way; failures find excuses.”

I don’t remember who told me that, and as much as I find the term “failures” to be a sloppy choice of words, it’s a valid concept. Day by day, hour-by-hour, we face options. Often, one path leads us forward while another locks us in place. Why then do we opt to stay where we are?

The human psyche is past complex and the reasons are beyond count. Sometimes, we didn’t realize alternatives existed until we look back. Possibly, the choices did not seem that diverse; in effect it was six of one, half a dozen of the other; any port in a storm. Maybe it was a snap decision without the necessary time to truly evaluate the results. Yet, more times than not, no sugarcoating the answer: we had an excuse.

At any moment, any one of us can dig deep into our sack of justification pulling forth numerous vindications why we make our choices. “Not enough time; people will think less of me; it’s never worked before, why will this be different?” As the stakes amplify, immovability expands, the opposite of what needs to happen.

For example, your marriage hits rough seas.

[Read more…]

Audio: Where Are The Crayons Podcast

February 15, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

This is year 7, column #10.

The name of the column is called “Where are the Crayons?” and it’s all about taking time to slow down and pay attention to what’s really important. It’s 6:50

You can download the podcast by clicking on this link.

To read the column, follow this link.

Overcoming the Negative

February 14, 2012 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

It’s impossible to go through life without experiencing negativity.

A cheating spouse, a horrible boss, a conniving friend or family member; the list is endless, and we’ve all had at least one negative experience in our lives. It’s important, however, that we overcome those negative people and experiences so that we can learn, move on, and live.

Here’s how I overcame a negative personal experience.

I dated someone for nearly seven years and was expecting for us to grow old together, happily-bickering into our late years. I was sorely mistaken, so mistaken in fact that I was caught off guard when he broke up with me… over a social network. I later found out that he had been cheating on me for quite some time.

My initial reaction to the break-up was to harp on the fact that not only had he broken up with me, someone he claimed to love, in such an insensitive, cruel way, but on top of everything he had been so conniving as to be unfaithful. I just couldn’t let it go; it consumed me and was all I could think about. I was stuck. I couldn’t begin moving on because I wasn’t allowing myself; I was just so concentrated on being outraged with the way he had treated me and our relationship. Now, nearly a year after this experience, I have a completely different perspective. Like that Cardigans song, “You live, you learn,” and here is what I learned one needs to do to overcome a negative experience:

Analyze Your Situation

My mistake in overcoming my negative experience was harping on what this man had done to me. What we need to do when something negative happens to us, is understand that:

It happened.
Someone else perpetrated the negative action brought against us.
We cannot control what that person decided to do.

[Read more…]

Accepting Things for How They Are

February 9, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Self-Acceptance Affirmation

Accepting Situations as They Are

Life can be frustrating, there’s no two ways about it. When it is overwhelming and I feel like a hamster on a wheel, I am faced with only three choices:

Quit the assignment, task, or job
Change the assignment, task, or job to make it better for me
Change my attitude to accept that I’ve made a choice to be here and I’m not willing (or able) to do anything else

Staying in a frustrating situation and ranting about it will not change it. It will also ruin my attitude, make me less productive, and possibly ruin my relationships (as well as possibly get me fired). Honor yourself for your willingness to persevere, take a deep breath, and be grateful for whatever you can.

My attitude is my own. Today I will choose to be accepting of my situation and be grateful for what I have.

[Read more…]

Lesson Learned – No Matter Our Age, We’re Still Learning

January 19, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

OK class, today’s assignment is to create the most annoying place ever; ready?

Let’s begin by populating it with lots of tired, irritable inhabitants confined to a cramped area with hardly any places to rest and absolutely no spot to get comfortable. Many of these folks will wear too much perfume or, better yet, haven’t seen the working end of a shower in days. Of course, the whole environment has to be far from home, and — oh yes — let’s make it extremely loud.

Now, let’s spruce up the annoyance factor by tossing in some arcane commands.

Rule one: You are only allowed to have in your ownership one container of essential items; but the consequences for possessing those is that is you must drag them behind you wherever you go; a ball and chain.

Rule Two: Not for a minute can you let them leave your custody. If you want to add more items, you can purchase from a very limited supply of things that will be far more costly than they should be, and you must stand in long lines to obtain them (don’t forget, you must have your container always in tow).

Rule Three: Nosy, ill-mannered, discourteous natives will handle and interrogate you at will, sporadically rummage through your package of personal belongings, and time after time subject you to yet additional seemingly useless rules which may change at any time.

I think we’re done.

What shall we call it? Dante’s Inferno? Hell? How about, “An Airport?”

Traveling has a knack to make anybody cranky; so, I had empathy for the nine-year-old with the pink suitcase waiting in the petrified line to board the jet. Her dad, bent close to her, staring unflinchingly into her eyes, was wagging his finger for emphasis and scolding her sotto voce. “We don’t push people out of the way. We wait our turn, do you understand?”

Her eyes drilling into the floor of the gateway, an angry expression contorting her face, she rocked defiantly from side-to-side, holding steadfast, “He’s not ‘people;’ he’s my little brother! And he’s slow! I want to get on the airplane all ready! I’m tired!” [Read more…]

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