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You are here: Home / Archives for motivation

Handling the Family Gathering: Avoiding Family Drama to be Healthy

December 28, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Not all family reunions are, well, shall we say, “familial.”

Despite the two-dimensional, everything-works-out-in-the-end, sitcom model of American life, some relatives are just not cut from the same cloth. Gatherings can more resemble armed camps across a kitchen table, rather than a joyous reunion of long-parted siblings longing to catch up on the past year’s goings-on.

Alex, her oldest brother, was always hell-bent on proving how much he knew, accuracy be damned. He over-talked, was excessively loud, and foisted his I-could-be-with-someone-more-important-than-you attitude on everyone from the moment he strutted into a room.

She was yin to his yang; righting the “injustice,” alone she would step into the fray and engage. Of course, this further amplified the conflict; but it drove her nuts to let him push his way around, ignoring everyone else’s needs.

This year, however, she would not be sucked into his dark drama vortex. Since her divorce, she was working on accepting things as they were rather than how they “should” be. Therapy, a fitness program, and losing 33 pounds; was allowing her to reclaim her life. She would not let her boorish brother steal that away — not tonight, not again.

Mustering a Herculean effort, she engaged Alex in small talk only, and the family reunion fared better than usual. He jabbed, she sidestepped; he blew hard, she refused to blow back.

Once the clan dispersed, sans spectacle, the quiet of the house collected around her, and she replayed the events in her head. “I should have told him off! He thinks he’s the only one who knows anything! What gives him the right?” Her inner dialog grew more bellicose and she pondered all the things she could have said — but didn’t.

She might be getting in touch with her “better self,” but she was far from “perfect” and she realized how agitated she still was. Sure, she kept the peace, but at what price?

The kitchen clock chimed midnight; yet she was as awake as if she had downed a convenience store’s inventory of energy drinks. Not knowing how to disperse that excess agitation, she found herself nibbling from a pyramid of dark, cubed, walnut fudge blocks that graced the center of the table. As the sweet texture melted in her mouth, she lost track of Alex, floating away on a cloud of sugary goodness.

“I really need to stop eating,” she thought, while reaching for another chocolate block. “It’s wreaking havoc on my diet.” Yet she had to admit, nothing soothed the image of Alex like chocolate.

She could stop right this second, take back control, and be angry; or chow down on fudge mountain, feel great, and look like a blimp. THAT would sure give Alex something to crow about, wouldn’t it?

That’s all it took.

Impulsively, she grabbed the plate, rushed to the sink, and poured into it a cascade of fudge bricks. The thought scampered across her mind to reach in and save a few, but she refused to give in and — while still empowered — brushed the remaining cubes into the drain.

The dilemma remained however, how to deal with her pent-up tension?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: family, Holidays, Inspiration, mental health, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Temptation, Traditions, Weight Loss, willpower Tagged With: acceptance, attitude, bad habits, change, conflict, dieting, emotions, family reunion, family reunions, feelings, fitness program, gatherings, happiness, inner dialog, joyous reunion, lifestyle change, motivation, relatives, resisting temptation, self esteem, siblings

Dare to Believe You CAN

December 19, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

When was the last time you dared yourself to believe you actually COULD?

Why are we so quick to find the reasons why something will NOT work out, or why we are incapable or unworthy of the success of our endeavors? What could possibly go wrong by believing things could actually go the way you want them to go?

Some people will tell you, “Set your sights low so you won’t be disappointed.”

But, can we be honest?

Even if you do that – and it doesn’t happen – aren’t you STILL disappointed? Of course you are. Setting you sights low just lowers expectations, it does nothing to alleviate the pain of failure.

Yet – if you enter into your goal believing you can – and it doesn’t happen – at least you got to enjoy the ride for awhile. And during that time, you were invigorated, happy, and energized. Those emotions make you more aware, which make you open to new ideas, which allow you to try what you might not have tried if you thought all would come apart.

So, in reality, believing you could might actually be a necessary first step in getting what you want.

Try believing it WILL happen more often – see if you’re right.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Excuses, Failure, Member Benefits, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Obstacles, Power of Attitude Tagged With: beliefs, desire, emotions, failure, inspiration, motivation, perception is reality, quality of life, success

Monday Motivational Memo: Being Grateful to Disarm Anger

December 12, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It is impossible to be angry or upset when you’re grateful.


It’s hard to stay balanced when you’re super busy. And this time of year is certainly one for “super-busy-ness.” With so little time for oneself, we sometimes get short-tempered and stressed. That’s no fun for anyone.

When that happens – and it will – slow yourself down, take a deep breath; and remind yourself how lucky you are. If you’re busy, it’s because you have things to do and you have the ability to do them. Many people are all alone or do not have the abilities (either physical or mental) to take care of things the way you do. (This doesn’t mean you have to turn into a “Pollyanna” but it sure can’t hurt to feel a little better, can it?)

Be grateful; it’ll change your mood.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Inspiration, Member Benefits, mental health, Motivation, Motivational Monday, Power of Attitude, Self Talk Tagged With: anger, attitude, coaching service, deep breath, gratfullness, gratitude, motivation, pollyanna, thanksgiving

Opening the Door: Change Your View, Change Your Attitude

December 7, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

The career of “motivational speaker” is, at its basic level, not dissimilar from most other occupations.

It’s a job. Hopefully, one gets fulfillment — beyond what he’s paid — out of doing it. (Be assured that those who make big bucks for speeches are — like with most careers — the exception, not the rule.) Granted, it has its perks. There’s very little heavy lifting or backbreaking labor, and since you’re fortunate to be your own boss, you can watch your kids play soccer, or take a long walk along the beach during the day. Again, however, like any other way of earning a paycheck, it has ups and downs.

In the same fashion that comedians might always be expected to be funny; or therapists should always be insightful; one con of this profession is people expect you to be, well, motivational. After all, a “motivational speaker” who is constantly whining doesn’t seem like he’d be much in demand, does he?

Of course, despite common perception, we are “normal,” with emotional highs and lows; and of late, for whatever reason; I’m in a valley. There have been many mornings when I’d rather pull the blankets up over my head, be left alone, and just go back to sleep. “Motivational” would not be the first word you would use to describe me pre-coffee. Mostly, I work alone, so it’s usually not problematic — but not always. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Gratitude, Happiness, Inspiration, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude Tagged With: attitude, cranky pants, emotions, feelings, fulfillment, happiness, highs and lows, how to improve your attitude, inspiration, motivation, occupations, perception, perfect day, profession, quality of life, speeches, thankfulness, ups and downs

Noticing Perfect Moments

November 14, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Take time to notice “perfect” moments in life.

a perfect momentHow often we do let them slip by unnoticed?

When was the last time you lingered over a brilliant sunset, or stopped to watch children play, or smelled the air after a first rain, or put your day on hold long enough to make a baby giggle? How long has it been since you sat and held hands with someone special, not even bothering to talk? Can you remember just sitting and thinking about how wonderful is life – without having the urge to get up and “do something?”

Life cannot be perfect.

However, do not confuse that with a lack of perfect moments. We get so busy, we forget to notice them when they occur.

Stop.

Slow down.

Breathe deeply the moments when they happen.

Life is good.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Inspiration, Member Benefits, mental health, Motivational Monday, Power of Attitude Tagged With: attitude, brilliant sunset, children play, emotions, feelings, first rain, inspiration, laughing baby, motivation, perfect moments, priorities, quality of life, quiet time, thankfulness

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