How to Forgive After a Divorce

November 20, 2012 by Featured Author

by Neil Keifer

When most people get married they hope it will last throughout their lifetime. However, sometimes that’s simply not the case. When two people get a divorce it can often turn ugly. This can leave both parties with resentment towards things done and said during a divorce. In order to move forward it is necessary to forgive the other party and move on. There are several key things to keep in mind if you have gone through a divorce and are trying to begin the healing process. [Read more…]

Forgiveness is More Powerful than Condemnation

January 16, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

To forgive is more powerful than to condemn.

Sometimes, we hang on to “bad feelings” because we think we are punishing someone for what he or she did. The reality is that they are unaware of it and it doesn’t affect them in the slightest. Actually, it holds us back and hurts us.

To forgive someone does not mean you condone the behaviors; it’s merely an emotional release of attachment to a negative feeling.

Who do you need to forgive today?

Admitting Mistakes

October 3, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

We are judged not by our absence of flaws – but by the positive traits we possess.

Most (not all) of the people we know are relatively forgiving – if we give them a chance. They see our flaws and love us anyway – unless we try to deny what we don’t do well.

Admit your shortcomings, ask for help, work to get better.

And remember to be as understanding when others do the same.

[Read more…]

It’s OK to Make Mistakes

September 5, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

People will love you even if you make mistakes.

They just expect you to admit them and try and correct them.

Think about how you react to someone who made a mistake and then owned up to it versus someone who refuses to admit she’s wrong. It’s not that people expect us to be perfect any more than we expect them to be perfect.

We expect mistakes.

We also expect honesty and a sincere desire to make right on those mistakes.

Try something new. Make a mistake. Own it. Ask for help.

And then move on – and do it all over again.

Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

Radical Forgiveness for the Holidays

November 17, 2010 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

The common, accepted portrayal of a happy, joking, and supportive family joyously celebrating around a food-laden Thanksgiving table is definitely not a universal reality.

Some families despise the ritual (and aren’t too keen on one another either); yet they meet year-after-after out a sense of guilt or tradition, jabbing each other with passive-aggressive verbal stabs. Even within families that are indeed content overall, certain members of the clan might resent, or even dislike, one another. They hold grudges over past transgressions or historic bitterness stalks silently beneath a transparent veneer of tranquility.

I point out these realities not with intent of injecting an unpleasant aftertaste to Thanksgiving dinner, nor as some sort of post-apocalyptic view of the holidays. And to be honest, I also do not know percentages of “unhappy” versus “happy” families; maybe it’s minuscule; possibly it’s everyone but you and I. Yet it is true. Moreover, to focus on “how many” bypasses the greater issue: we cannot release these strains until we acknowledge they exist. Once there, we discharge them with a type of thanks.

“Thanks,” you might ask with understandable confusion; “Why would one give thanks for an irritating collection of boorish relations with whom I’m forced to endure boring football games and overcooked turkey?”

In the traditional sense of “giving thanks,” you wouldn’t. However, when one expands the concept of thankfulness, we realize that gratitude and forgiveness are actually the same act. All that differs is the direction in which they are pointed.

[Read more…]

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