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Monday Motivational Memo: Staying Motivated

July 25, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Before giving in, don’t say “I Won’t,” say “I won’t right now.”

Then wait 10 minutes and see what happens.

Will power is not the ability to say “I’ll never do it. It’s the ability to say “I won’t do it right now.”

If we can take a few minutes and settle down what’s going on inside us, we have an opportunity to change it. To that end, tell yourself, “I will wait 10 minutes before I decide what to do.” Then, do something, anything, except what you were going to do. Make sure you change your environment – and for goodness sakes – don’t set a timer!

What usually happens is that the feeling passes. We get distracted. We go on to other things. Before we know it, 10 minutes has become 30 or 60. Once we realize how well we’ve done, we have the opportunity to feel good about our success instead of disappointed in giving in.

Even if you then decide to do what you were going to do, at least it’s now a choice and you don’t feel like you’re a victim to your own habits.

Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

Difficult Until it Isn’t – Once You Make Up Your Mind, It All Works

July 13, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus

Despite contrary opinion, losing weight is not hard to do; it’s amazingly simple:

Eat a little less than you want
Wait five minutes before you start
Walk a little more than you would
Focus on today (tomorrow will take care of itself)
Repeat process until desired results are obtained

Voila! No pills. No bizarre food concoctions. No expensive plans. Simple. To the point. Successful.

As stated, it’s not difficult.

Why then do Americans spend $33 billion a year on a process that can be outlined in fewer than 50 words?

Here’s the thing: Losing weight is not hard; changing one’s mind to accept reality can be another issue.

I offer my own experience as case in point. I am no Johnny-Come-Lately to the rigors of dieting; having been on weight loss programs since before my memories were formed. As an overweight child who wore “husky” pants and XXL shirts, my mother served skim milk in (non-sugary) cereal and fruit for dessert. Doctors tried to shame me into losing weight; again and again forcing upon me those purple mimeographed pages overloaded with food lists, calorie counts, and dieting “secrets” (which never worked). Upon reaching adulthood, well-intentioned friends pointed out the health risks of obesity: heart disease, diabetes, and stroke; attempting to nudge me toward change. My life has been forged and melded in the furnace of dieting. I know this stuff better than the back of my slightly chubby hand.

So, why do I STILL have trouble sticking with it?

The answer? We make the process more difficult than necessary, gunking it up with all manner of artificial mental barriers and obstacles. Instead of accepting what must be done, I lament the process of change; stubbornly hanging on to the ineffective, seeking to finagle my way around what is required. I devise excuses for not waking in time to exercise. I tell myself, “just this once won’t hurt” while nibbling leftovers from the refrigerator. I protest the higher price of healthier foods, opting instead for the long-term cost of greasy, crunchy, fried bags of chips.

Our thoughts are the problem, not the diets.

We put ourselves at odds with our own best interest. At day’s end, it is usual to want to “shut down,” and unwind. Close the curtains. Turn off your mind. “Relax,” coos the seductive call of well-worn behaviors, “You can start tomorrow.”

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance,” said our third president. To obtain independence from the tyranny of destructive habits requires ongoing diligent effort, as anything of value does. Yet, it is equally accurate — and too often forgotten — that when we pursue our passion, treat our bodies with respect, engage our better selves, and witness the results of those actions, there is no comparison to the elation, joyfulness, and euphoria that floods our soul.

At that point, the whole thing almost seems too easy.

How to Change Your Habits to be Happier, Healthier and More Productive

June 8, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Most of life is done by rote.

For most of us, alarm clocks buzz the same time every morning. The average grocery store stocks over 38,000 items; yet the standard shopper goes to the same store every week, usually on the same day, and chooses from the same few dozen items every outing. We become brand loyal, eating our meals at approximately the same period every day, leave for work at a uniform time, drive a standard route, and return home at a consistent hour every night. Evenings consist of consuming one of a few “favorite” dinners. Entertainment consists of books or magazines from a few select genres and a stable of favorite authors; or maybe a regular line-up of TV shows, which we watch while sitting in “our usual place,” and snacking — or not — on the same foods we had yesterday at the same time. At day’s end, we retire at the same time, even sleeping with the same person (hopefully), only to repeat these patterns come dawn.

This is not to suggest we are unimaginative, bland, nor boring; rather to illustrate that we are creatures of habit; no if’s, and’s, or butt’s about it.

Reality is these habits make life easier. Picture the above scenario where every single day consisted of an entirely new routine. Exciting? Sure — for a little while. After that, just plain exhausting.

The downside of a life assembled on a foundation of habits are the “side effects;” those unexpected results of our patterns. Make no mistake however; they are every bit as much a part of the habit as are the results we seek. For example, if I’m bored, I eat. If I’m angry, I eat. If I’m sad, I eat. It’s a common routine. It allows me to feel better fast. After all, chips or ice cream not only alleviate boredom, but also go a long way toward holding negative feelings at bay — for the short term. The side effect is a weight gain. I get to feel good quickly, for the simple price of obesity long term.

Conversely, some people read a book when bored; when sad, call a friend; and when angry, take a brisk walk. (There is a clinical term for such folks: “Skinny.”) Whereby their habits also provide comfort, the side effects are healthier. Should I long for such results, I must also develop similar habits.

The thing is that it’s extremely difficult to “drop” habits. Since their sole purpose is to fill voids, simply abolishing them make those holes more painful. This in turn, triggers the very behavior we were trying to banish — which puts our actions at odds with our feelings. In a case like that, emotions almost always win out and the habit — and its side effects — strengthens.

[Read more…]

Overcome Setbacks

May 9, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Sometimes, things just don’t work out.

After setting ourselves back on the path toward our goal, many times, our inner perfectionist comes out and says, “I blew it! Well, as long as I blew it, I might as well really blow it. I can start again tomorrow (next week, next month, next year).”

That’s where the danger comes in. We have now given ourselves permission to do more damage.

Even if you “blow it” (by whatever definition you use for that term), the solution is in how fast you recover. We all make mistakes. Successful people actually make more of them. The difference is they recognize them as setbacks, get up, and move forward quickly.

When you slip up, simply remind yourself that the next thing you do can make it worse or start to fix it. Then, make the choice that will be helpful.

Why Deprivation Diets do not Work

May 4, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

If deprivation was a successful weight loss strategy, obesity would be obliterated.

At first blush, sacrificing one’s favorites appears like it would blast away those extra pounds, and it does — but only temporarily. Long-term, it’s unnatural and ineffective.

Oh, sure, we can sacrifice our pet foods for brief periods. However, let’s face it, as the joke goes, seven days of bland makes one weak. Without variety, we get bored. Take away our special beloved “fun foods” and we give up, sometimes in horrifying ways.

As example, I decide to implement a new “healthy me lifestyle change,” a complete makeover of my insalubrious habits. My wife, ever the obliging supportive spouse; agrees to assist, so we commence a routine evening stroll. The weather is agreeable, walking burns calories, and the time allows us to re-connect after hectic workdays.

Along the route lies a small pizzeria. I am wise in the ways of weight loss and I know from unfortunate past experience, that the blend of salt, several varieties of cheese, as well as toasted doughy goodness, makes it problematic for me to lose weight. Therefore, I have sworn an oath of “pizza abstinence” until the scale reflects 15 fewer pounds. I am proud to announce that so far, all is going well. I’ve been “pizza-free” for well over three hours.

Fate however can be a cruel mistress and the gentle breeze this evening brings upon it a warm cheesy waft of mozzarella and garlic. As Ulysses being lured by the Sirens, my wife grabs tighter my hand, the rope attempting to bind me to the mast. Unhappily, she is not composed of wood and twine and I tear loose, hotfooting frenziedly into the eatery, no longer able to manage my impulse.

That’s when things got fuzzy. [Read more…]

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