Overcoming Temptation Archives » Page 4 of 5

Difficult Until it Isn’t – Once You Make Up Your Mind, It All Works

July 13, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus

Despite contrary opinion, losing weight is not hard to do; it’s amazingly simple:

Eat a little less than you want
Wait five minutes before you start
Walk a little more than you would
Focus on today (tomorrow will take care of itself)
Repeat process until desired results are obtained

Voila! No pills. No bizarre food concoctions. No expensive plans. Simple. To the point. Successful.

As stated, it’s not difficult.

Why then do Americans spend $33 billion a year on a process that can be outlined in fewer than 50 words?

Here’s the thing: Losing weight is not hard; changing one’s mind to accept reality can be another issue.

I offer my own experience as case in point. I am no Johnny-Come-Lately to the rigors of dieting; having been on weight loss programs since before my memories were formed. As an overweight child who wore “husky” pants and XXL shirts, my mother served skim milk in (non-sugary) cereal and fruit for dessert. Doctors tried to shame me into losing weight; again and again forcing upon me those purple mimeographed pages overloaded with food lists, calorie counts, and dieting “secrets” (which never worked). Upon reaching adulthood, well-intentioned friends pointed out the health risks of obesity: heart disease, diabetes, and stroke; attempting to nudge me toward change. My life has been forged and melded in the furnace of dieting. I know this stuff better than the back of my slightly chubby hand.

So, why do I STILL have trouble sticking with it?

The answer? We make the process more difficult than necessary, gunking it up with all manner of artificial mental barriers and obstacles. Instead of accepting what must be done, I lament the process of change; stubbornly hanging on to the ineffective, seeking to finagle my way around what is required. I devise excuses for not waking in time to exercise. I tell myself, “just this once won’t hurt” while nibbling leftovers from the refrigerator. I protest the higher price of healthier foods, opting instead for the long-term cost of greasy, crunchy, fried bags of chips.

Our thoughts are the problem, not the diets.

We put ourselves at odds with our own best interest. At day’s end, it is usual to want to “shut down,” and unwind. Close the curtains. Turn off your mind. “Relax,” coos the seductive call of well-worn behaviors, “You can start tomorrow.”

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance,” said our third president. To obtain independence from the tyranny of destructive habits requires ongoing diligent effort, as anything of value does. Yet, it is equally accurate — and too often forgotten — that when we pursue our passion, treat our bodies with respect, engage our better selves, and witness the results of those actions, there is no comparison to the elation, joyfulness, and euphoria that floods our soul.

At that point, the whole thing almost seems too easy.

How to Change Your Habits to be Happier, Healthier and More Productive

June 8, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Most of life is done by rote.

For most of us, alarm clocks buzz the same time every morning. The average grocery store stocks over 38,000 items; yet the standard shopper goes to the same store every week, usually on the same day, and chooses from the same few dozen items every outing. We become brand loyal, eating our meals at approximately the same period every day, leave for work at a uniform time, drive a standard route, and return home at a consistent hour every night. Evenings consist of consuming one of a few “favorite” dinners. Entertainment consists of books or magazines from a few select genres and a stable of favorite authors; or maybe a regular line-up of TV shows, which we watch while sitting in “our usual place,” and snacking — or not — on the same foods we had yesterday at the same time. At day’s end, we retire at the same time, even sleeping with the same person (hopefully), only to repeat these patterns come dawn.

This is not to suggest we are unimaginative, bland, nor boring; rather to illustrate that we are creatures of habit; no if’s, and’s, or butt’s about it.

Reality is these habits make life easier. Picture the above scenario where every single day consisted of an entirely new routine. Exciting? Sure — for a little while. After that, just plain exhausting.

The downside of a life assembled on a foundation of habits are the “side effects;” those unexpected results of our patterns. Make no mistake however; they are every bit as much a part of the habit as are the results we seek. For example, if I’m bored, I eat. If I’m angry, I eat. If I’m sad, I eat. It’s a common routine. It allows me to feel better fast. After all, chips or ice cream not only alleviate boredom, but also go a long way toward holding negative feelings at bay — for the short term. The side effect is a weight gain. I get to feel good quickly, for the simple price of obesity long term.

Conversely, some people read a book when bored; when sad, call a friend; and when angry, take a brisk walk. (There is a clinical term for such folks: “Skinny.”) Whereby their habits also provide comfort, the side effects are healthier. Should I long for such results, I must also develop similar habits.

The thing is that it’s extremely difficult to “drop” habits. Since their sole purpose is to fill voids, simply abolishing them make those holes more painful. This in turn, triggers the very behavior we were trying to banish — which puts our actions at odds with our feelings. In a case like that, emotions almost always win out and the habit — and its side effects — strengthens.

[Read more…]

Staying Calm When Overloaded

June 6, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Organization creates calm.

Decisions terminate panic.

In today’s crazy-making, overly-busy, I’ve-got-too-much-to-do, running-around-with-our-hair-on-fire world, things can get a little out of control. Between trying to keep food on the table, take care of a family, handle other household responsibilities, stay in touch with friends, and, of course, find some time for yourself; it seems that we don’t get anything done and the more things pile up, the crazier we feel.

When that’s the case, there are two simple things you can do:

Pick a two-foot square section of your work area and straighten it up. That’s all. You don’t have to clean up everything, just a 2×2 square in front of you. Believe it or not, that will give you a sense of calm and a feeling of accomplishment.
Pick one thing that you will do RIGHT NOW and that you will take to completion. (Of course, it has to be a small thing.) Having a clear direction will help calm the “inner noise” that’ so loud when things seem out of control.

Remember, if you’re overwhelmed, it’s because you’re thinking too big and you’re not making effective priorities. These two tips will give you a budding sense of organization and a sense of calm.

Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

Overcoming Over-commitment

June 1, 2011 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

Between all the “domains” in our lives – jobs, social activities, family and volunteer work, we’re often left with no time for ourselves. We’ve said “yes” to everything and then discover that there are not enough hours in the day, days in the week or weeks in the year to accomplish all we’ve said, thought and believed we could do. A human trait is the desire to please. We want to be kind, helpful and liked. That’s all wonderful, but what about when you can’t say no?

Over-commitment is not only frustrating; it also takes a toll on your health. There are many studies regarding the effort-reward-imbalance (ERI). One in particular involving the effort-reward-imbalance (ERI) and over commitment (OC), noted in The Journal of Occupational and Organizational Psychology said,

“Results suggested that all components of the ERI model – effort-reward-ratio, effort, reward and over-commitment – are associated with health-related quality of life, vital exhaustion, depression and quality of sleep.”

Considering that over-commitment actually harms our health, it’s time to decide what to do about it.

Here are some pointers: [Read more…]

Monday Motivational Memo: Overcoming Temptation

May 16, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

One of the reasons we fail to achieve what we want is we feel we have to give up so darn much to get it that it’s not worth it. For example, we say, “I’ll NEVER be able to go out to eat again,” or “I’m going to have to exercise EVERY DAY.”

The thought of doing something without end is daunting and overwhelming. When we’re overwhelmed is when our “bad” habits kick in at their strongest. (Remember a habit is designed to comfort us.) Therefore, we think, “What the heck, it’s just this once. I’ll be better tomorrow.” Before we know it, we’re back in our old routine.

What’s the solution?

Instead of thinking how you feel right now, ask yourself, “What behavior will help me feel good five minutes from now?” Or if you can, “What will make me feel good tomorrow morning?”

Slow yourself down for a few moments. THEN make a decision. Most of the time, you’ll choose the healthier option. And the key to success is to do it most of the time.

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