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You are here: Home / Archives for Change

When Stuck, Look to Your WHY NOTs

June 23, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

stuck-man

“Stuck” does not just happen.

There’s a reason.

  •     If you keep taking off and putting on the same few pounds no matter what you do, there’s a reason.
  •     If you keep “trying” to change a habit and it never seems to work, there’s a reason.
  •     If you’re always making promises to yourself but you’re not keeping them, there’s a reason.

If you want to understand the reason, it’s important to know your “WHY NOTs.”

We usually know why we want to change our habits (health, happiness, success) but we rarely pay attention to why we DO NOT, referred to as our “WHY NOTs.”

Understanding your WHY NOTs will move you forward.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Diet, Gratitude, Habits, Happiness, Motivational Monday, Relationships Tagged With: attitude, benefit, habit change, happiness, healthy habits, quality of life, relationships, thankfulness

The Road from “Never” to “Now”

June 18, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

never-land-&-now-road

Changing a bad habit can be messy, frustrating, and unpleasant.

After all, if it was easy, we’d all be dropping bad habits willy-nilly, wouldn’t we?

It becomes easier if, instead of looking at it like, “One moment I’m here. The next minute I have to be all the way over there,” we understand it more as a series of stages.

I’ll assume one has left the initial stage of denial, and decided to — for example — lose a few pounds; accepting that either forever gaining weight or making a change are his only options.

He lands firmly in stage one: “Never.”

Here thoughts and feelings are extremely negative, perception being an excessive, laborious amount of work and discomfort for what appears to be a pipe dream result. Internal dialog is, “I will never be able to do that” with the obvious coda being, “…so why bother to try?”

In our example, the thought of sweaty, painful exercise; a starvation-level diet; anal-retentive tracking of calories; tasteless recipes; extensive shopping pattern adjustments; and – in general – being forever, always, never-ending conscious; triggers our synapses to scream, “No way! Can’t be done, ain’t gonna happen.” Crossing our arms, scowling, and firmly planting our feet, we refuse to budge.

Or so we think.

You see; the problem is that once consciousness has been raised it cannot never again be buried.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Diet, Exercise, Habits, Health, Motivation, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Weight Loss Tagged With: bad habits, change, changing habits, diet, emotions, feelings, habit, habit change, habits, health, lifestyle change, stages of change, weight loss

I Think Therefore I Become

June 17, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Next to my bed is a nightstand.

man-in-bed-in-bedroom

I presume that is a common arrangement in many bedrooms. Upon the shelf of the nightstand are many books; this too I assume is widespread.

Like me, I take for granted that many people have three categories of books populating their nightstands:

Some wait to be read. While at a bookstore, the concept between its covers was so striking that I plunked down money, thinking, “I will read that someday.” Alas, “someday” has yet to make its appearance. Being optimistic, I’m sure it will (probably about the same time as when “I get my act together”).

The second classification is books started but still unfinished. Maybe I lost interest, the story was not as expected, or simply “life kicked in.” I could give them away but feel like I betrayed them, (does co-dependence apply to books?) so I pledge to finish reading them in the future. Until that fateful moment, they too shall gather dust.

Finally comes the definitive category: Books completed. Residing here include authors such as Robert B. Parker, Dean Koonz, and Roger McBride Allen. Most are novels because I like to “escape.” However, there is one self-help book I have read over and over again. Although I do not buy into everything she says, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay is infused with 210 pages of brilliantly simple wisdom (usually the best kind).

Hay’s philosophy, outlined in the foreword, includes:

  • We are each responsible for our experiences
  • Resentment, criticism, and guilt are damaging, and
  • It’s only a thought, which can be changed.

Furthermore, says Hay, feelings are “thoughts that stick.”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Change, goals, Happiness, Power of Attitude, Psychology Tagged With: book review, louise hay, negative self talk, positive thoughts, self help books, self-talk, thoughts and feelings

Anchors A-Weight

June 4, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

There are “big picture” and “smaller picture” health choices.

heart-with-graphA lump in one’s breast is “big picture.” Finding time to take a walk or choosing between deep fried or grilled chicken could be classified, “smaller picture.” Granted making enough wise “smaller picture” health choices is a “big picture” issue in the end. However for discussion sake, “big picture” issues are beyond the control of the every-person, requiring action without delay. “Smaller picture” issues provide choice and possess the luxury of time.

So, although lowering my sodium intake today, a smaller picture issue, will not have a direct affect in the immediate, it could – over time — determine whether or not I get high blood pressure and a stroke, a definite “big picture” issue.

The “big picture” is made of infinite “small pictures.”

“Big pictures” require more knowledge to correct than do “small pictures.” As example, no one has the wherewithal to preform self-administered angioplasty after suffering a myocardial infarction. Conversely, when it comes to the “small picture,” we usually possess enough understanding to know what to do. It doesn’t take a cardio surgeon’s expertise to know that a deep dish, 12-meat-special, 24-inch pizza infused with gooey, dripping, cheese crust is not as healthy as a veggie stir-fry. One need not be an Olympic athlete to recognize that a morning walk is healthier that catching up with gossip on “The View.” Even non-scholars comprehend that reading is a superior way to relax than is the third martini.

We appreciate these to be true. Moreover, unlike “big picture” decisions, we maintain control over our decisions and actions.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Diet, goals, Gratitude, Inspiration, Newspaper Column, Success Tagged With: achievement, anchor, big picture, choices, correct decisions, decisions, goals, making decisions, what matters

Remember What Matters

May 26, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

man with babyMake sure your priorities stay top-of-mind.

Not everything is equally important.

One of the main reasons we don’t move forward is we forget that we cannot do everything all the time. We stress ourselves out thinking of how much we have to do. We then get overloaded and shut down.

Take time to remember what really matters by using the “Five Year Rule.”

As yourself if anyone will really know or care about this event five years from now.

  • If the answer is “No,” let it go. Get to it when you can – if you want to.
  • If the answer is “Yes,” it’s important. Take care of it as soon as you can. Then take a moment for yourself.

Do not mistake activity for accomplishment.

Filed Under: Change, goals, mental health, Motivational Monday, Overcoming Obstacles, Procrastination Tagged With: change, five year rule, frustration, happiness, planning, priorities, top priorities, what matters

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