Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

October 13, 2021 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s hard to believe the holidays are upon us again.

I know I say this every year, (admit it, you do too) but it always seems like a surprise. Stores starting setting up Halloween displays sometime around March (slight – but not much of an – exaggeration.) Christmas displays have been unveiled in the big box outlets for several weeks already. And, almost as quickly as it began, summer has left us for cold mornings, thick jackets, and wool caps.

Especially after being hunkered down for almost two years, it can be difficult to stay on track during the upcoming “holiday party season,” that period from when Halloween candies hit the store shelves until the last New Year’s party has faded with the final chords of Auld Lang Syne. This is not new. We’ve all been around the block a few times; we know how difficult it can be to get back on track come January. We could just stay on course for the next couple of months. Yet, if we all know what this time of year is like, why do we do this to ourselves every year?

The answers are numerous, but at the core is “habit.”

To permanently change habits, we need an accurate understanding of what they are. Most people mistakenly consider habits to be repeated behaviors done without thought; developed over time. Whereby that’s partly true, it misses focusing on the more significant elements: everything which precedes the behavior. Not understanding the entire chain condemns us to be victims of our actions instead of their masters.

That said, let’s re-define more accurately what exactly is a habit: “A recurring pattern of thoughts and feelings triggering a repeated behavior, which all work together to simplify our lives.”

We are not mindless Zombies, aimlessly wandering the landscape, driven by impulse and instinct, reacting without any control. Instead, since most of us have functioning brains, we develop patterns – rituals – which allow us to lower the cacophony between our ears and think less. The benefit of which is that it simplifies our lives by putting much of it on autopilot. After all, it’s hard to constantly be “on,” we need relief.

There are three components to habits.

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Take Time to be Alone

June 30, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Take time to be alone more often than you think you need to.

One of the prime triggers in engaging in a bad habit is looking for a way to give to yourself, especially if you’ve been very busy and overwhelmed. When we don’t take time for ourselves, we end up “rewarding” ourselves with our habits. It’s a way of taking care of ourselves in the moment, but it doesn’t feel so great when we’re done.

If you want to improve the chances you’ll stay on program and you won’t suffer from a “guilt dessert,” take a few minutes to be alone every day; long enough to decompress.

It doesn’t have to be very long, just long enough to get yourself centered.

By the way, “alone” is not “lonely” – unless you choose to make it so.

When Stuck, Look to Your WHY NOTs

June 23, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

“Stuck” does not just happen.

There’s a reason.

If you keep taking off and putting on the same few pounds no matter what you do, there’s a reason.
If you keep “trying” to change a habit and it never seems to work, there’s a reason.
If you’re always making promises to yourself but you’re not keeping them, there’s a reason.

If you want to understand the reason, it’s important to know your “WHY NOTs.”

We usually know why we want to change our habits (health, happiness, success) but we rarely pay attention to why we DO NOT, referred to as our “WHY NOTs.”

Understanding your WHY NOTs will move you forward.

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5 Outdoor Activities To Help Your Break An Addiction

April 16, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Breaking an addiction can be a very challenging task, and it is almost impossible to do without finding new ways to spend your time, money and energy. A solid path to recovery can be paved by entering a program such as gulfcoastdrugrehab.com, and by engaging in outdoor activities.

Here are five outdoor activities that can help you break an addiction, in no particular order.

Walking/Jogging

Going for a nice walk or light jog for five days a week is a great way to rejuvenate your body, tone your muscles and clear your mind. The feeling that comes during and after a good jog can actually itself become addicting, which is infinity times better than afflictions such as substance abuse or gambling.

Kayaking

Many people see kayaking as an inaccessible activity that involves high levels of skill and expenses, but the plain truth is that hundreds of lakes all over this fine nation have kayaks available for rent on any given summer day. Calmly gliding through the water is a very peaceful experience, and can do wonders for clearing and retraining the mind into more healthy habits.

Joining a Softball League

Unlike the first two activities, which are often done alone, joining a softball team will allow you to be exposed to a new group of potential friends. Having a few nights a week set aside to do a really fun activity such as playing in a softball game will help to structure your schedule in a way that makes you much less likely to relapse.

Planting/Maintaining a Garden

Creating and caring for a garden has been proven to help people get over addictions and other self-destructive tendencies. Watching something go from seed to fruit is a special experience that often bonds the grower with the Earth, which is another path to the inner peace that will help put addictions in the rear view mirror for good.

This is the least expensive of the activities on this list, and a small to medium-size garden can actually be started with about $20 and a few hours’ worth of enjoyable labor.

Bicycling

Bicycling is another sport that an amateur can fall in love with very quickly. A steady bicycling routine is good for the cardiovascular system, as well as the entire muscle structure. Many people have found solace in riding their bicycle around the park every evening at a time when they would typically do something such as visiting the bar before heading home. Before long, hopping on the bicycle becomes far more enjoyable, meaningful and fruitful than past indiscretions.

About the author: Annabelle Smyth is currently a loving and caring mother of two children. She lives outside of Milwaukee, WI and loves cheering for the Bucks and Badgers. She is a blog enthusiast and loves writing, if she is not writing she is cleaning up after her two lovely angels. She can be contacted at Annabellesmyth@gmail.com

Growing Up in an Overweight Family

January 24, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

by Tara Spener

My parents have always been overweight.

When I was very young, it wasn’t something that I really noticed. They were just my parents. I didn’t notice or didn’t understand that they were heavier than they should be.

However, as I got older, that changed. Over time, my parents’ weight was about much more than their health.

When I was a young child, my parents being overweight meant that they couldn’t play with me the way some of my friends’ parents could play with them. There were no games of chase, no family bouts of tug of war, no family football matches in the backyard. It also meant that they didn’t have the energy for me. They were often too tired from their day to do more than sit down on the couch at the end of the day.

In the beginning, I just thought that’s the way things were, but as time went on, it started to weigh on me that my parents couldn’t (or didn’t want to) do the things that other parents did. I felt like I was missing out in some small way.

Meal times were not the most healthy.

It wasn’t until I was a teenager that I started to think of dinner as something that didn’t come from a box. Once I started to become more interested in eating healthy foods, my parents couldn’t provide me the guidance I needed. They weren’t able to teach me how to make nutritious meals. It wasn’t until I was married that I knew how to make a roast chicken. It wasn’t until college that I knew how to do more than boil some spaghetti noodles.

The unhealthy foods and the unhealthy role models made it hard for me to know how to live a healthy lifestyle.

Once I got to high school, I became interested in track, and I started to lead a more active lifestyle myself. I struggled for many more years trying to learn how to eat a healthy and balanced diet, and I continue to struggle with body issues.

Because my parents didn’t teach me healthy habits, I never learned how to listen to my body and give it the healthy foods it needed. I didn’t learn to exercise because of what it could do for my body and how it could make it feel. As a result, I struggled for a long time with learning how to say no to foods and with learning to strike the right balance with exercise. I either worked out too much or not at all. I either ate too much or too little.

Continuing to run track in college helped me to find that balance.

I learned how to train to push my body to its highest performance. I learned how to eat a healthy diet that gave me energy and made me feel great. Most of all, I learned how to love my body and to treat it with the respect it deserved.

My parents still struggle with their weight.

However, now I am able to offer them the role model that I had hoped they would be for me. With time, I hope that they are able to learn how to adopt a healthier lifestyle so that they can live long and fulfilling lives. And maybe one day we’ll be able to enjoy that game of tag … with their grandchildren.

About the Author: Tara Spenser is currently the resident writer for workingcapital.org, where she researches the most affordable business capital available. In her spare time, she enjoys blogging, swimming and being a mom.