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You are here: Home / Archives for handling conflict

Choose Your Battles Carefully

June 24, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

army-boots

Choose your battles carefully.

Yes, it’s important to stand up for what you believe in.

Equally true, it’s essential to be true to who you are.

However, it’s also necessary to understand which battles require us to draw a “line in the sand.”

Before launching forward, take a moment to ask yourself:

  • Is this the hill I want to “die on?” In other words, how important is this argument to me really?
  • What is my intention in fighting this fight? Am I just trying to prove I’m smarter or I know more? Am I trying to put someone else down for his or her past “wins” when we’ve argued before?
  • If I win this argument, what will be the cost to my relationship and my self-esteem? Is it worth it?
  • Would I rather be happy or be right? In the end, I think we’d rather have been happy most of our life instead of correct most of our life. (Of course, we are sometimes both.)

Wait a few minutes to decide what you want to do before you move forward.

Not every issue requires a battle.

Sometimes, it’s OK – probably even preferable – to just “let it go.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Conflict Management, Intentions, mental health, Motivational Monday, Relationships Tagged With: better relationships, handling conflict, intention, relationship, top priorities

Our Feelings are Our Own

June 3, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Woman screaming at phone.

Nobody makes anybody feel anything.

We learn to react to events by feeling certain ways. We can learn to react differently if we want to.

It won’t always be easy but it’s definitely  worth it.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Conflict Management, mental health, Motivational Monday, Relationships, Self Talk Tagged With: anger, emotional response, emotions, feelings, handling conflict, relationships

Ask first. Talk Later.

April 29, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

We are “hard-wired” to answer questions, correct?

(See, in your head, you HAD to answer that – even if you disagreed!)

Could I Ask You a Question?

If we really want to have closer relationships and we want to get more from those with whom we associate, we have to:

  1. Listen
  2. Ask questions
  3. Refrain from judgment
  4. Look for consensus

Telling someone what you want without listening to what he or she wants might get you what you need. But, listening first is a more reliable strategy and will probably get both of you what you want.

And isn’t that a better choice?

(See, you answered again!) [Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, Conflict Management, Motivational Monday, Relationships Tagged With: conflict, conflict resolution, family, family and friends, handling conflict, relationships

3 Happy Couple Habits – And How To Get Them Into Your Routine

February 5, 2013 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

Being in a happy, healthy relationship makes every other facet of your life easier.

But a successful connection with your partner takes hard, consistent work.

Every good relationship I’ve ever been in has been built on three core things: communication, trust, and a sense of humor.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Conflict Management, Guest Author Tagged With: better relationships, communication, good relationship, handling conflict, healthy eating, long term relationship, love, relationships

Perception is Reality

January 21, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Perception is reality.

If someone feels something – whether or not you do – then they feel it.

Rather than trying to convince them to feel something else – which rarely ends with the results you’ll both want – acknowledge what they feel as accurate, then try to understand it and help figure out how to help them feel safe in what they feel.

Once you do that, you’re more likely to both get what you want.

Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

Filed Under: Communicating, Motivational Monday, Relationships Tagged With: family conflict, handling conflict, perception, perception is reality

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