Being in a happy, healthy relationship makes every other facet of your life easier.
But a successful connection with your partner takes hard, consistent work.
Every good relationship I’ve ever been in has been built on three core things: communication, trust, and a sense of humor.
And that holds true for all the relationships in your life… even the one you have with yourself.
Respecting and understanding yourself is the first step to finding a healthy, happy, long-term relationship with someone else.
Nutritionally sound systems such as Mike Geary’s Truth About Abs program frequently get people on their feet with that first step, and the person who actually began a healthy eating schedule isn’t the person who came out on the other end. They’re instead, a more confident, healthier version of that person.
Once you’re on track to a healthy mind-body relationship with yourself, you can start focusing maximizing the connection between you and your partner.
And here’s how.
Know what to talk about, and what to keep to yourself
Communication is key in any successful partnership, but a lot of us misinterpret what good communication really is. Of course it’s important that you and your partner talk often, even when you’re not together. However, it’s what you talk about that can get you in trouble.
What do I mean by that?
Letting your partner know you’re going to be a few hours late from work is an important thing to communicate. Rehashing every bad relationship you’ve ever had in your past? Not so much.
Bad communication rears its head in many forms, such as:
- Excessive Facebook posts about how in love you are. It’s nauseating to your friends, and not a healthy display of affection.
- Texting, emailing or Tweeting every move you make when you’re apart. I know you’re in love, but your guy doesn’t need to know that you got decaf this morning instead of caffeinated.
- Looking through your partner’s phone. If you want to know something, ask. Phone snooping will inevitably result in something you didn’t want to see, and then you’re forced to have the awkward, “Well, I was going through your phone while you weren’t in the room, and…” conversation. And on that note…
- Asking about every girl he interacts with. Most suspicion has to do with a lack of confidence in the suspicious party, not wrongdoing on the suspected’s part.
Which is a great segue to…
Trust that you’re worth hanging onto.
If you look at the people who’ve shared their stories to programs such as The Diet Solution Program review page, you’ll notice that most—if not all—of them found a confidence in themselves that they didn’t previously know they had after adopting healthy lifestyle choices.
It goes without saying that no happy relationship is built without a solid foundation of mutual trust, which takes time to build, and only a moment to destroy. The most surefire trust-smashers I’ve seen in my day?
Well, as I mentioned in the list above:
- Going through your partner’s texts, emails or Facebook profile when they’re not looking.
- Accusing your partner of inappropriate interactions with female friends, coworkers, or baristas at the local coffee shop.
On top of that, I’ve seen a lot of good relationships fall apart because of things like lying about the scope of your current friendship with an ex, a male coworker, or a friend of the opposite sex. Full disclosure is crucial, and if your partner is uncomfortable with a relationship you have, you need to be sympathetic and understanding of why.
The list, of course, goes on when it comes to ways to break trust. But how do you build it? Start by trusting your self-worth, and focusing on the things your partner does to respect this to you—like surprising you with a replacement phone charger when you leave yours at the office on a Friday afternoon—rather than the tiny moments that make you doubt— like the fact that he “liked” his attractive female friend’s picture on Facebook.
Laugh at your fights.
Couples fight. That’s healthy. Without conflict, there would be no resolution, and one side of the partnership would end up stewing in discontent until things inevitably fell apart.
But what do couples fight about? Well, the most vivid arguments I remember having with boyfriends of the past were over things like whether our hypothetical children would be raised to believe in Santa, why he didn’t open the door of the car for me when I was carrying our food, or how he insists he doesn’t snore but I have proof he does.
And while no one wants to fight all the time, small disagreements over seemingly trivial—even ridiculous—things can bring you closer together. During every argument, however big or small, take a moment to step back and ask yourself, “Is this worth fighting about?” If it is, calm yourself down and step away to gather your thoughts, then calmly explain your point of view—and allow your partner to do the same—once you’ve both cooled down. Whether it’s ten minutes or two days, it will be worth the wait.
However, if the answer is, “No, this isn’t worth fighting about” (as it often will be), look at your partner and ask, “Are we really arguing about whether blonde roast or dark roast tastes better?” then smile and go in for a kiss.
Because some arguments don’t need to be settled, but every relationship can do with a little more affection.
About The Author, Hannah Tool: I used to think that being thin meant I was healthy until I was hospitalized, violently ill and dangerously thin, and found out that I suffer from Crohn’s disease– a gastrointestinal inflammatory disease that attacks the autoimmune system. My entire life then changed. I wasn’t about to let a disease stop me from following my dream of becoming a writer. Through a healthy diet and regular exercise, I turned my body into the best version of itself that it can possibly be, in spite of Crohn’s disease. I’m on the career track I always dreamed of, and living a happier, healthier life than I could have imagined for myself.