Of Fathers and Sons

June 12, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

In April 1996, I received a phone call from a TTY telephone operator.

She introduced herself and asked if I had ever worked with someone like her.

“No,” I replied.

“On the other end of this line is someone hearing-impaired,” she explained. “When she wants to call someone, she contacts me and then types what she wants to say into a device. It then appears on a screen in front of me. I’ll read it to you. You reply to me. I type it back. It’s a slow process but it allows her to ‘talk’ to you. Ready?”

“Yes,” I replied hesitantly.

She then — in a stilted, halting manner — read the words as they traipsed across her screen. Not waiting for full sentences to appear, she pronounced each syllable as it materialized, like someone reading a news crawler on the bottom of the TV screen; with the caveat being that the text was scrolling too slowly. Not only was it a sluggish process, it was eerie, and unnerving.

“My… name… is… Mary…” read the operator. “I’m… sorry… to… tell… you… that… your… father… has… passed… away…”

Some background is in order.

Over the nine years I’ve been publishing this weekly column, I have written about my wife, mother, children, grandmother, aunts; even my pets. However, there’s a glaring omission: my father.

Obviously, I had one; and yes, I knew him. However, we didn’t get along and my rebellion manifested itself as me growing up to be his polar opposite. Over the years, I invested a great deal in therapy to release myself from the behaviorial bonds that I felt shackled me to a person I did not want to be.

Fathers and sons have had differing viewpoints since Adam and Abel.

[Read more…]

Ask first. Talk Later.

April 29, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

We are “hard-wired” to answer questions, correct?

(See, in your head, you HAD to answer that – even if you disagreed!)

If we really want to have closer relationships and we want to get more from those with whom we associate, we have to:

Listen
Ask questions
Refrain from judgment
Look for consensus

Telling someone what you want without listening to what he or she wants might get you what you need. But, listening first is a more reliable strategy and will probably get both of you what you want.

And isn’t that a better choice?

(See, you answered again!) [Read more…]

Five Simple Ways to Tell if You’re Addicted to Your Hobby

April 23, 2013 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

Having a hobby is encouraged and considered a positive trait by society.

In a healthy individual, hobbies may act as effective creative outlets and stress relievers. Sometimes, though, hobbies can take on a darker role in our lives, essentially becoming an addiction that needs to be overcome, often with the help of outside sources. Read on for five simple ways to tell if you’re addicted to your hobby. [Read more…]

Cherish the Milestones

January 8, 2013 by Featured Author

By Maddy Olson

I don’t know about everyone else, but 2012 has been a pretty rough year.

But here’s the thing: I feel like the higher powers are trying to teach me some lessons. Why? Because I have become complacent with my family…taking them very for granted and allowing life to pass us by. He knows I am full of love for them, but in the routine we get into, I don’t always make special time to build relationships.

My husband and I have a whole clan. I’m serious. I have four sons, he has four sons and a daughter. Since we have been married, we have acquired two daughter-in-laws, a son-in-law, and have a baby girl on the way. Recently, we lost a little grandson. I told you we were an enormous family!

Snap out of the normal goings on of your life and wake up to the vibrancy and love that encompasses you.

[Read more…]

Keep it in Perspective

October 29, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Keep things in perspective.

We’ve had a rough couple of days at our house. It seems like the fates are conspiring to cost us money.

We’ve had to hire someone to do some painting on the exterior of our house where the wood was starting to show through.
We have some windows where the framing is leaking and causing some rot. That’ll set up back some coin.
Our bathroom is leaking. We heed a new shower head, some plumbing repairs, and – because of the leak – we’ll probably need some floor repairs
As November approaches, we’re finally ready to put on the heater. Guess what? It’s not working! I’m sure that will cost us something.
On top of all that, a few family members have hit some rough patches. When you’re family (in whatever definition you choose that to be), you step in. So we have.

I was getting a little nervous about all the out-pouring of money.

And then, I realized that at least i don’t have a hurricane barreling down on my neighborhood and I remembered after Hurricane Katrina, we lost contact with a friend who was in its path. We were scared that something had happened to her. Several days later, she contacted us. She was okay. However, the roof of her house was gone. She said she was really blessed.

“Blessed,” I asked? “You just lost your house.”

“But I’m still here to tell you. And everyone is fine. I’m really lucky.”

It was a great lesson.

Sometimes, we’re better off than we realize – especially when we have others who watch over us.

(To our friends in the path of Hurricane Sandy – we’re thinking about you, sending our best wishes, and praying for you. Be well. Take care of yourselves.)
[Read more…]

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