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You are here: Home / Archives for mass shooting

This is Not Normal

August 7, 2019 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

My purpose — as I understand the direction of my editors, as well as my own moral compass — is to try and bring to you a glimmer of light in your day.

As boldly evident, there is much darkness; and whether I write about habit change, attitude, communication, or attempt to crack wise; that objective remains my North Star. To stay true to course, I attempt to steer free of politics (although those who know me know that I have very strong opinions).

Today, I cannot be silent; it would be morally wrong.

Moreover, honestly, I am also finding it near impossible to remain hopeful. That is not me.

We are chewed up yet again by horrific, tragic, awful, terrible, unconscionable, outrageous stories of more mass shootings. This time, the names of the cities are El Paso and Dayton. (Gilroy, barely a week past, seems a distant memory.) I list only cities, as posting the victims’ names would heartbreakingly take more column inches than allocated print space.

I — and I imagine, you — feel like I have been rammed head-first through a meat grinder of emotions unwelcomed, undesirable, and uninvited; mercilessly whipped by a cat o’ nine tails in a sinister torture scene from a B-quality horror movie. We are pin balls bouncing through shock, fear, disbelief, powerlessness, grief, anger; desperately attempting to reclaim balance and serenity, only again to be rocketed off against our desires into the emotional sewage. It is a nightmare from which we cannot pinch ourselves awake.

Whereby we attempt to shield our damaged psyche in denial and say — more a prayer than a fact — it cannot happen here; that too is what the people of Orlando, Las Vegas, and Poway most assuredly believed.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Current Events, Newspaper Column, Rant Tagged With: compassion, Hope, mass shooting, News, violence

Perfectionism & Gun Controls – Regarding the Aurora Colorado Shooting

July 25, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus

When people ask what I do for a living, I reply, “I am the C.R.P. of ThisTimeIMeanIt.com.”

When further prompted what that stands for, I explain, “Chief Recovering Perfectionist.” Although I obviously chose that title to be playful, there’s an important reality at play.

We’ve all had periods where we felt we are settling for less than we could be. We’re disappointed, not only with “the way things are,” but also more importantly, with ourselves. It is only out of such frustration that action is born. After all, no one wakes up one morning and says, “Wow! I love my life, let’s see how I can change it.” We change because we’re unhappy, often proclaiming,

“TODAY will be my new dawn, my Genesis, my new beginning. TODAY is day one of the perfect new me; I’ll finish everything on my assignment list; I’ll clean the house; I’ll be the perfect spouse with the perfect attitude. I’ll be perfect on my diet and my budget; I’ll even find time to exercise. TODAY will be perfect.”

As exciting as that sounds in theory, the reality is when we then analyze the line-up of everything necessary to achieve such high standards, we grasp how much work it’s going to take and rationalize that we can always start TOMORROW; putting it off, choosing to accomplish nothing rather than something.

Aiming for perfection is not only a barrier to getting things done; it’s an excuse to avoid attempting them.

After all, if my definition of success is to accomplish EVERYTHING — and logically I know that’s not going to happen — why even bother? I mean why attempt something I know I won’t accomplish? As the bumper sticker I saw in college said, “Flunk now, avoid the June rush.”

With that as preamble, there is a real-world example of how perfectionism is preventing societal improvement, and, in my opinion, causing future agony on yet unknown victims.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Perfectionsim Tagged With: attitude, aurora colorado, conflict, intention, mass murder, mass shooting, perfectionism, perfectionist

“We Need to Tone it Down on Both Sides”

January 11, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus

There was a tragedy in Tucson last week which involved the shooting deaths of six innocent people and the wounding of more than a dozen, including the congress woman, Gabrielle Giffords, who represents that area. I’m sure you’re aware of it; you’d have to live in a hole to not to be.

At this writing, this horrific event does not seem motivated as much by politics (e.g. the Oklahoma Bombing) as it is by the fact that the shooter was mentally unstable, such as those at Columbine. (I’m sure this is small comfort to the families of the victims.) The fact that I can list examples (and I could provide more) of various shootings “by name” – and that you can understand the references – is a sad, discerning comment about the level of violence in which we find ourselves. As for the cause of the event, finger-pointing began per schedule. Blame will be assessed, and as with a New Year’s resolution, promises  will be made. For a brief moment, our awareness will be heightened and actions might be be taken. Unfortunately, also like those resolutions, these commitments will be abandoned in short order.

Positive Result?

One positive outcome arising from this tragedy (if “positive” can be the label applied to anything that comes of it) is the heightened scrutiny on the tone of the political discourse during this fractious era. Only time will tell if it was a partial cause in the shooter’s break with humanity; but it cannot be a bad thing to examine. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Communicating, Conflict Management, Group Support, mental health, News, Newspaper Column, Self Talk Tagged With: bygone days, columbine, far left, far right, gabrielle giffords, horrific event, mass shooting, media, new year, oklahoma bombing, political discourse, politicians, promises, pundits, resolutions, tragedy, vehement disagreement, violence

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