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You are here: Home / Archives for mental health

Do Something, Do Anything

May 19, 2011 by Featured Author

“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.” ~ Frank Tibolt

“‘Excellence’ is not a gift, but a skill that takes practice. We do not act ‘rightly’ because we are ‘excellent’, in fact we achieve ‘excellence’ by acting ‘rightly.'” ~ Plato

“Fake it ’til you make it.” ~ Attributed to Alcoholics Anonymous

This is probably the most important thing I’ll ever write.

When people ask me how I lost over 130 pounds, this is the answer.

I don’t know how I made the connection – it was one of those so-called ‘Aha! Moments’ that so many people talk about.  I had a bona fide epiphany one day as I was sitting in my living room, crying and feeling sorry for myself.  Here is the story, and I hope you find it meaningful to you.

Once I had lost about 90 pounds, and I was no longer in what I kindly refer to as “the 200 Club,” meaning I no longer weighed over 200 pounds, I hit the mother of all plateaus.  I couldn’t seem to get out of the 190s no matter what I tried.  Everything I had done to lose 90 pounds just wasn’t working for me any more – or so it seemed.  And so, I did what any normal human being would – I had a break down.  I was so angry, so frustrated, so desperate I just didn’t know what to do with myself.  And suddenly, it became very apparent that I had reached a fork in the road on my journey.  What should I do?

I had two clear choices:

1) I could quit or…
2) I could forge ahead.

Where would quitting get me?

Well, I could go back to my old habits and slowly but surely undo all of my hard work.  “But,” I argued, “at least I wouldn’t have to think about eating healthy and making sure I had time to exercise everyday.  In fact, I would never have to think about ‘dieting’ ever again.”  It was a happy thought until I realized that it wasn’t true.  Just as I had old eating and exercising habits, I had old thought habits too.  I knew it wouldn’t be long before I started beating myself up for being fat and lazy (my apologies to myself, but this is the kind of self-talk I regularly engaged in before I decided to change it) and that I would start feeling miserable and guilty like I did when I weighed 287 pounds.  Then I remembered how physically painful it was to carry around those extra 90 pounds.  So, it didn’t take me long to decide that all quitting would buy me was a ticket right back to Square One.

So where exactly could I go if I forged ahead?

At the time, it seemed all I could do was spin my wheels and go no where.  “I’m really trying here, and I’m not making any progress!” I angrily told myself.  But, I suddenly thought that perhaps there was something I was missing.  I asked myself, “How do thin people live?” And I honestly didn’t know the answer.  The only time I was ever thin was in college, and I wasn’t a healthy person then.  I could go days without eating a bite.  It’s very easy to be thin when you’re starving yourself.  I never had a healthy relationship with food or my own self-image.  How could I know how “normal” people behaved?  There was no way for me to know. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, goals, Guest Author, Inspiration, mental health, Power of Attitude, Self Talk, Success, Weight Loss Tagged With: alcoholics, choices, happy thought, inspiration, journey, old habits, plateaus, plato

The fantasy of perfectionism

May 18, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I am a perfect-o-holic.

Sure, I know it’s folly; yet I can picture that magical happy place where all goes according to plan and everything works out as I imagined. I have a plan.

Today, I become the pinnacle of modern workplace efficiency. Without exception, every single solitary item on my to-do list will be accomplished — even those lingering on the pad since ‘07. Phone calls will be returned in a timely, upbeat, eager manner, complete with all the necessary and required information at hand. Today, every goal will be exceeded; every deadline shall be beat. Should I spot a customer, client, co-worker, or vendor, I shall stretch out a warm enthusiastic hand in friendship, greeting her with passion, warmth, and energy; developing the ultimate positive reputation. Today, all reports will be finished on time and with precision. Today, the five-year backlog of filing shall be ended. Facebook farm games, really cute cat videos on YouTube, and forwarded emails with titles like “LOL! OMG! You’ve got to see this!” shall not deter me from my mission. I am a rock. (I shall be so effectual that I will have even had enough spare time to properly arrange my computer’s desktop icons in perfect order. After all, I owe it to myself to have some fun.)

Moreover, I will not ignore my most important relationship. Mark this date; for it is when I became the perfect spouse. Should my loving wife require assistance, no matter what else I am doing, I shall immediately — sans attitude, of course — cease all other pursuits, and lavish upon her all the attention she so richly deserves. As illustration of how central is our shared life, I will make time to clean the bathroom, prepare dinner, wash the dishes, pay the bills, and even massage her aching feet, expecting nothing in return. Today, I am the perfect husband. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Habits, humor, Inspiration, Intentions, mental health, Motivation, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Procrastination, Self Talk, Weight Loss Tagged With: black and white thinking, happiness, lofty goals, perfect husband, workplace efficiency

Building Supportive Relationships While Taking Care of Yourself

May 11, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

In the end, we are remembered via the relationships we leave behind.

I stand five-eight, no one’s depiction of “towering giant.” Someone of my stature is supposed to tip the scales at no more than 165 pounds. When I was 39 years old, I weighed 250. More frightening was that at such an early age, I experienced chest pains with regularity. As a father for two young sons, I was a ghost. My career was in free fall; my 12-year marriage was in tatters. (When your marriage counselor suggests divorce lawyers, the odds for regaining your long-lost marital bliss are slim.)

Change is born of fear, force, or pain. No one wakes up one fine day and says, “Wow! I really love my life; how am I going to change it?” Rather, unhappy, dissatisfied, and overwhelmed, we resolve to do virtually anything to alter our circumstances; anywhere is better than here.

For me, that conclusion came late one night, sitting alone yet again, pondering sorrowfully the source of my life’s despair. Out of that sadness came the painful realization that the common bond among all my troubles was ME. It was ME who relinquished the reins of my life, it was ME who helped build a dysfunctional marriage, and it was ME who chose to stuff myself, medicating the hurt by eating instead of fixing it. Therefore, if anyone was going to transform my life, it too must be ME. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Group Support, Habits, Intentions, mental health, Relationships, Weight Loss Tagged With: chest pains, common bond, despair, divorce lawyers, dysfunctional marriage, health and happiness, painful realization, sadness, stressful days

Unplugged: Getting Back to What Matters Most

May 3, 2011 by Featured Author

It’s time to take back some time. I’ve lost irretrievable time – sucked away into the black hole of technology. Of course, it’s my fault for not managing it better but I am claiming it back. Starting today, Mother’s Day until Father’s Day I am going cold turkey. No Facebook, no Twitter, no personal email and no other social media of any kind during this time. While I THINK there are some business benefits, I haven’t realized enough to warrant the estimated 4-6 hours a week I spend on it – hours I’ll now spend doing other things. Of course, there are some benefits of social media and technology but I think there is a great deal of time suck too. There are three things that inspired my action to go on a technology diet Sabbatical (which also includes a diet from the codependency I have with my cell phone). [Read more…]

Filed Under: Articles, family, Guest Author, Habits, Inspiration, mental health, Motivation Tagged With: codependency, crackberry blackberry, family and friends, fathers day, hectic pace, mothers day, oprah, phone zone, technology diet

Ten Tips for a Stress Free Life

April 19, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

By Vijaya Jayaraman

(Editors Note: This is from ezinearticles.com; full information is at the end of the article.)

Stress is more likely to topple you, if you’re not taking care of yourself. Put yourself first. These ten tips can help you stay on course:

1. Make time for yourself. Learn to relax for half hour daily. That will bring relief from chronic stress. Listen to the music you like, draw pictures or paint or dance. I often sit in my backyard and watch the birds eat and drink. Observing nature relaxes you. Just drive to a distance and learn to appreciate mountains or water. Read a book of interest in that atmosphere. Explore and do what works best for you.

2. Learn to relax: Take a deep breath. Close one nostril and breath through the other for 15 seconds, hold the air for 15 seconds and release through the same nostril for 15 seconds. Do this seven times through one nostril and repeat with the other. This will enhance the oxygen in your lungs by means of deep breathing.

3. Observe your thoughts. Avoid negative thought like ‘ I am hurt, someone said this or I have lost my job what will happen to my future, children are not doing well, my health is not good;. On the contrary encourage positive thoughts in your mind by sayings the same as ‘I am not hurt, this is part of the game, people have their own opinions, or I need this break and I should be alright in the future, my children are children they will get better. My health will improve when I eat right, exercise’. Your thoughts are in your control. Learn to manage your thoughts.

4. Exercise regularly. Exercise can help keep depression and anxiety at a distance. Just 30 minutes a day benefits the body and the mind. Regular walking, water aerobics, swimming helps your entire body. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, Exercise, goals, Gratitude, Guest Author, Happiness, Health, Inspiration, mental health, Motivation, Overcoming Obstacles, Power of Attitude, Success Tagged With: anxiety, chronic stress, deep breath, deep breathing, ezinearticles.com, positive thoughts, reduce stress, stress free life, thoughts in your mind

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