How to Have a Happier Holiday Season

November 15, 2012 by Featured Author

The magic of holiday music, lights and excitement resonates with my soul.

Every year, I look forward to this time of year. But I haven’t always felt so positive; as a young adult, I struggled to enjoy the season.

During my childhood, the holidays were all about presents, snow and cookies. After I moved out on my own, I realized I needed to grow up, and the holidays began to lose their magic.

I now had to work to afford presents for my family and friends. I couldn’t always take off work to celebrate with my family. Some years, I didn’t even have gas money for the drive home. When my family decided to visit me, I had to keep the house clean and tidy. And I still had to go to work every day.

Keeping on track with my fitness routine was hard too.

I usually gained 10 pounds because I was too busy to work out, and I gave in to the temptation from all the seasonal sweets.

In time, the stress became unbearable. I started resenting the season. I wished I could crawl under a blanket in October and emerge in January. I stopped attending holiday parties and resented family get-togethers. I embodied Scrooge, and everyone around me knew it.

Then a few years ago, I heard about seasonal affective disorder. A friend casually mentioned that her sister always felt depressed during the holidays. Bright lights and a support group gave her a better outlook on the season.

I decided to talk to my doctor, and he discussed sources of the holiday blues. Physical fatigue, financial pressure, family conflict and unrealistic expectations were the cause of my depression. He suggested a few useful techniques that helped me overcome the holiday blues.

First, I stopped worrying about expectations. The holiday season is fun, but I can’t do everything. I have to choose the most valuable and important traditions and let everything else go. Holiday cards were the first expectation I dropped. I can always send a free electronic greeting card to the people I don’t see every day. My stress level lowered immediately, and I decided to cut down on the decorations this year. I’ll hang the lights, but the rest of the décor will stay in a box in my garage or get donated to charity.

Next on my list was the food. Homemade sweets and seasonal buffets taste great, but they’re not great for my waistline or mood. I decided to indulge in a few bites of my favorite sweets only during parties and keep up my healthy eating regimen.

I’m also going to stay physically active. Last year, I committed to following my normal workout schedule, and I felt good physically and emotionally.

My family will be visiting my house for a meal this year. I’ll tidy up before they come over, but they’ll have to clean up any dust bunnies they point out. I want to enjoy spending time with my family, not stress out over the cleanliness of my home.

We also decided to forgo gifts. Instead, we’ll enjoy being together as we play games and watch old home movies.

To adults, the holidays may never regain the magic they had when we were kids, but they can be enjoyable.

If you feel stressed, depressed or unmotivated to celebrate this year, talk to your doctor. He can give you tips on recognizing the signs of depression and finding the joy again. Bust the holiday blues this season when you give yourself permission to feel the magic again.

About the Author: Danielle writes on behalf of Sears and other brands she uses. This Christmas, she’s asking Santa for a treadmill so she can channel her stress into physical activity all year long. She hopes it will also help her deal with post-holiday blues as she exercises away all the extra calories she will inevitably consume.

Keep it in Perspective

October 29, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Keep things in perspective.

We’ve had a rough couple of days at our house. It seems like the fates are conspiring to cost us money.

We’ve had to hire someone to do some painting on the exterior of our house where the wood was starting to show through.
We have some windows where the framing is leaking and causing some rot. That’ll set up back some coin.
Our bathroom is leaking. We heed a new shower head, some plumbing repairs, and – because of the leak – we’ll probably need some floor repairs
As November approaches, we’re finally ready to put on the heater. Guess what? It’s not working! I’m sure that will cost us something.
On top of all that, a few family members have hit some rough patches. When you’re family (in whatever definition you choose that to be), you step in. So we have.

I was getting a little nervous about all the out-pouring of money.

And then, I realized that at least i don’t have a hurricane barreling down on my neighborhood and I remembered after Hurricane Katrina, we lost contact with a friend who was in its path. We were scared that something had happened to her. Several days later, she contacted us. She was okay. However, the roof of her house was gone. She said she was really blessed.

“Blessed,” I asked? “You just lost your house.”

“But I’m still here to tell you. And everyone is fine. I’m really lucky.”

It was a great lesson.

Sometimes, we’re better off than we realize – especially when we have others who watch over us.

(To our friends in the path of Hurricane Sandy – we’re thinking about you, sending our best wishes, and praying for you. Be well. Take care of yourselves.)
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The Power of Accountability

September 4, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

by guest author John Lenning

The following is a letter that I received from a new friend. I asked him if I could share it because I thought it was awesome.

I just wanted to say “thanks” for helping to get me back on track.
For a little over a year before I contacted you, I had been having pain in my hip flexors. It started off as nagging pains, but got worse and worse with each month. About one month before I met you, I went to my sister’s house for a weekend get-together.

One of my college buddies who I had not seen in over 9 months was there. When he saw me, he said “Haven’t seen you in a while, what have you been up to?”

I paused for a second, then replied “Work, and uhh…that’s about it”

He replied, “Work, that’s it?”

I said, “Yeah….”

He then said, “Seriously, you haven’t done anything else?”

I just kind of stood there with a dumb look on my face, thinking, “Wow, I really have not been doing anything, have I?”

After what seemed like forever, I kind of laughed and acted like it was not a big deal. I then quickly changed the subject to something about his job.

For a week after that, I just kept asking myself what I had been doing. His question made me take a look at myself and realize that I had let my pain prevent me from doing things. I had been using it as an excuse. I had used my hip injury to justify skipping the gym, camping trips, and other things. I even used it to justify my poor eating habits.

I realized that I had been passively going through life, never stopping to see that things seemed to be going downhill.

Even after that experience, it took me over three weeks to convince myself that I needed to start doing something about the pain. I finally convinced myself that I needed to actually do something and was able to convince myself to talk to Mike. The rest is history.

I am thankful that I was able to finally break through the walls that I had built, and ask Mike if he knew what I should do. If I had not, I would still be living a mediocre lifestyle. Thanks to you guys I am back to my old self.

Thanks again,

Here is the lesson:

If you are having a difficult time motivating yourself, get someone you can trust and tell them what is going on. Then, tell them that you are not comfortable in your situation. Ask them to hold you accountable to do something about it. You do not need to ask for “help” or “assistance” just accountability

About the Author: John is a competitive athlete and trainer. When John is not working out, coaching, or eating, he is usually trying to learn something new. He currently writes about the causes, symptoms, and treatment of hip pain at his personal site.

Feeling Healthy or Feeling Shame

May 30, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I attempt to be transparent.

It isn’t always easy because we all possess “secret places;” those spaces we don’t reveal; too embarrassed or ashamed to admit out loud. Like you, I have a firm moral center; therefore my “dark places” are not deep black, more appropriately they are shades of grey. Who knows, if I let them loose to be washed in open sunlight, I might learn they’re simply “off-white.”

That belies the issue: I’m not proud of them.

That’s part of the human condition; none of us have achieved absolute self-acceptance. Sure, we don a strong veneer, and generally, we’re pretty good about keeping in place our mask. Yet, it’s still one foot in front of the other on the road to self-acceptance, occasionally stumbling in potholes.

Lately, I’ve been in a funk.

It originates when I wake up with foggy, upsetting recollections of distressing dreams. Although they evaporate with the morning light, an unsettling, discomforting residual coating on my psyche remains. The day commences with me drained, overwhelmed, and leery of what may come. In effect, my attitude “sucks,” which is unlike me.

We all go experience that, passing it off to “one of those days,” or a “rough patch.” But when does it become “normal,” and one realizes you’re no longer who you were, but rather who you have become?

One thing leads to another, and I end up attempting to enhance my outlook by falling back on an old habit — for me, that’s eating. Logically, will it help? No, of course not. But it has nothing to do with rationality when you’re stuffing granola bars in your pie hole at 11 PM. That is naked raw jagged emotion; I’m “medicating,” pure and simple.

Medications have side effects.

In this instance, it’s weight gain. When I gain weight — especially self-induced — I become depressed. When that happens, I seek more “treatment,” leading to more pounds, which… Well, you see the cycle.

Should this be happening to someone seeking my counsel, I’d ask, “What precipitated this change in behavior? When did it start?”

My answer: October 25, the day I was hit by the car while riding my bike.

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Growing Stronger by Asking for Help

May 23, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Self-Acceptance Affirmation:

Even powerful people have needs.

A “powerful” person is not an “invincible” person, nor is she powerful without the help of anyone else.

One can be powerful – and still need help from others. It does not diminish who you are to do that.

I am allowed to seek help from others.

I am strengthened by others’ support and knowledge.

[Read more…]

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