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You are here: Home / Archives for Asking for help

Is It Time to Say Goodbye?

February 4, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Is it time to say goodbye?

When it’s time to move on, from bad habits or painful relationships, these simple steps will make it easier:
  1. Accept the reality that what you had once is no longer working
  2. Get support
  3. Decide what you want to do that’s different
  4. Make a small step toward that new priority
  5. Praise yourself for changing
  6. Give thanks for what you had; it served you well for a long time. (If you’re saying farewell to a person, remember “compassion first” whenever thinking about them or bumping into them.)  

Goodbyes are certainly not as fun as “hellos” but they are necessary.

How we handle them is essential to a balanced and happy life.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Motivational Monday, Relationships Tagged With: bad habits, compassion, farewell, happy life, painful relationships, priorities, priority, relationship, relationships

It’s OK to Ask for Praise

December 3, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s OK to ask someone to praise you once in awhile.

No matter how old we are, we need to be recognized for what we do. It’s nice when it “just happens.” However, sometimes, it doesn’t. Unfortunately, when it doesn’t happen, many times we take that as a reason to get resentful. Not only does that ruin our attitude and make us feel bad, but it can damage the relationships that matter most to us.

Instead of feeling bad about not being recognized, point out what you did. Say how you feel about it. Ask to be recognized.

You did well. You deserve it. It’s fine to ask for it.

Just remember to praise and compliment others as often as you can too.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, mental health, Motivational Monday, Relationships, Self Talk Tagged With: asking for help, attitude, compliment, relationships

How to Help Yourself Get to Sobriety and Recovery

November 27, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus

by Melisa Cammack

The depths of addiction are a scary place to be, and those of us who have experienced this in the past or are facing these issues now know that crawling out into the light is not an easy task. Giving up something as seemingly comforting as addiction can be frightening and overwhelming. To say recovery is easy would be a lie, but as they say, the best things in life are worth fighting for. How, though, should you begin cutting through obstacles and blazing the trail to success?

Seeking Help

Chances are if you’re reading this article you realize you have a problem with some substance or another and you realize you need help, and that is step one; this is arguably the most important step. Realizing there is an issue and reaching out for help takes a large amount of honesty and insight on your part, so be proud of yourself! Rehabilitation centers, talk and group therapy, hospitalization, or even self-help literature are all legitimate forms of help, however some of these methods may be more effective than others; if you have little to no willpower like most addicts, you should consider a rehab center.

Making Changes

Having a completely sober period of time under your belt is a huge accomplishment, so the next step is to try not to relapse. It is heavily suggested to cut contact with any friends you may have used with. Don’t worry, because this may not last forever. You could very well serve as an example to your old friends of what sober living can look like. Attracting people to being sober is truly an invaluable skill that all recovering addicts possess.

Starting Anew

It is also important to avoid any past routines that make you think of using your old substance of choice. Music is a very strong trigger for many people, so try finding some new musical groups to attach fresh memories to. Experts encourage addicts to get rid of any old albums, photos, clothes, movies, video games, and other things that have negative memories associated with them. It can be difficult, but a clean slate is without a doubt worth a small loss of material possessions.

You are about to endure the most important, most difficult, most worth-while journey of your life. You might very well slip, and that’s okay. It’s normal, even! As long as you pick yourself up and put one foot in front of the other, you’re on the road to recovery.

About the Author: Melisa Cammack has been freelance writing for several years, and loves writing for parenting and self-help articles. Melisa is currently promoting the Delray Recovery Center, and encourages those who are seeking help with abuse to look into recovery facilities.

Filed Under: Asking for help, Guest Author, Health Tagged With: addiction, group therapy, honesty, rehab center, rehabilitation centers, sober living, sobriety

Prioritize! Prioritize! Prioritize!

November 26, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Understand that – especially during this time of year – no one person can get it all done.

Some things will have to be left by the wayside.

Be patient with yourself for what you cannot get done.

Be patient with others for the same reason.

Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

Filed Under: Asking for help, Motivational Monday Tagged With: priorities, stress, top priorities

“I’m freaking out! Call me please!”

November 25, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

One of the nicest adjectives applied to me is “avuncular,” the kindly, wise uncle-type.

Being courteous — as well as avuncular — I always shut off my phone while at the movies. Upon exiting, its screen exhibits “You have five voice mail messages.” My cell number is closely held, so that many messages unto itself is odd; even worse, they’re also all from the same young man from down south who regularly seeks my guidance. Seeing so many messages from him in a two-hour time span, I fear the worst and quickly tap the link for message one.

“Hey, it’s me, can you call me back when you get a chance? Later. Bye.”

His words say “casual” but he’s attempting to cover the dusting of nervousness sprinkling his tone.

Message two arrived 15 minutes later.

“Me again, just wondering if you got my last message. I know you’re busy, but when you have a minute, I need some advice and knew you could help… Okay, thanks.”

Anxiety is increasing but is still reigned in.

Twenty minutes later,

“I guess your cell is turned off. But, as soon as you turn it on, I really need you to call. It’s important. Please. I need your help.”

He’s pleading, abandoning the illusion of being off-the-cuff.

I would have phoned right then, but two messages remained, with what could be additional essential information. I listen to the next dispatch, which arrived 30 minutes ago. His frantic voice explodes from the speaker:

“I’m freaking out! Please, please, please call me back!! It’s urgent!”

My inner parent is red-lining. I really want to call, but feel it’s important to get the last piece of data — which turns out to be 180 degrees different in attitude; tranquil, peaceful, and calm like a placid lake:

“Never mind the previous calls. Sorry to bother you.”

Relieved, but confused, I dial his number.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, humor, Newspaper Column Tagged With: anxiety, anxiety level, attitude, debts, guidance, humor, stress, wise uncle, worry

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