What we say to ourselves in our quiet spaces gives birth to actions. Life is the consequences of those events. If we wish to alter the course of our existence, to change its path, or to enjoy more the process, we must begin with the thoughts that steer it.
For example, let us take the overused, beaten down, threadbare expression: “I’m going on a diet.” At the point when the peoples of all nations unite in solidarity and appoint me Head Honcho in charge of Global Linguistics, I shall ban the expression; I find its limited options lead to broken promises, loss of joy, low self esteem, and eventual failure.
In the stark and barren world where one “goes on a diet,” it automatically implies one must — at some time — go off a diet. All is black and white; there is no gray; only “on” or “off,” “good” or “bad,” “following the diet” or “cheating.” The gradations of in-between, which fill most of life, do not exist as, in that thought process, one cannot be “a little off” anymore than one can be “a little pregnant.”
This perfect/awful thinking supposedly drives us to be perfect, which is an impossibility, so we inevitably label ourselves as “failures.” Those of us who are recovering perfectionists know well the mantra of the dieter who has crossed to the dark side: “As long as I blew it, I might as well really blow it! I can start again tomorrow.” (or “Monday,” or “next year”…) Once I have failed, I might as well get all of the “failing” out of my system, cleaning myself so I will be ready for to be perfect next time (ignoring the fact that it too will end up the same way). [Read more…]