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You are here: Home / Archives for habit change

Out of the Fog: Four Observations about Bad Habits

July 10, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

foggy scene

Forgotten habits exist right under the skin.

We think we’ve got them licked, but they’re always immediately beneath the surface, ready to emerge whenever we get careless or ignore their symptoms. Or look at them this way: We never get rid of them; we put them into deep freeze and can defrost them whenever we get sloppy.

We would all like to think we have “our acts together,” certainly in how we present ourselves to others. As I said we would like to think that, but equally certain is that within each of us there is a nagging — oft times scolding — inner voice pointing out our shortcomings; loath to congratulate and pretty darn quick to disparage. No one likes being critiqued with unrelenting regularity, so what do we do?

Simple, like teenagers not wanting to be scolded by critical parents, we tune it out. Call it “denial;” call it “defense mechanism;” or call it “mental health,” after all, a rose by any other name…

However, despite what children protest, sometimes, we parents know of what we speak and the warnings we provide could save them a bucketful of hassle — if only they’d listen. Alas; they, as did we, find out too late.

Being a “wrinkled kid,” I ignored my internal parent and was unintentionally thawing out some past routines.

It began innocently enough with five little words (six, if you count the contraction as two): “One small bite won’t hurt.”

And it doesn’t.

Neither does the next; or the next, or even the fourth. But upon the frightful realization that I had waded in so deeply I could no longer see the shoreline, I needed to face reality.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, Habits, Health, mental health, Motivation, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Temptation, Procrastination, Self Talk, Weight Loss, willpower Tagged With: bad habits, defense mechanism, denial, diet, diet tips, habit change, health habits, inner voice, mental health, old habits, realization

Picking Favorites

March 6, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I own a fake leather red jacket.

Well, I guess that’s not an accurate description; the jacket is not fake. It’s real – and it is indeed bright red. What’s bogus is the “leather.” It appears to me to be leather but it’s really not. It’s way too thin.

Anyway, I’m distracted; let me start again.

I have a red faux-leather jacket. It has a simulated  pocket (notice I cleverly avoided the use of the word “fake”) on the left breast area with a label specifying the brand. I didn’t know that was the emblem of a certain designer brand as I’m oblivious to those sorts of details, and would most likely remain so if not for my friends pointing it out (and being duly impressed). So, I guess I could say I possess a designer jacket.

the red jacket

That didn’t matter to me as I purchased it because:

  • I was cold
  • The jacket made me look “hip” (as much as a 58-year old guy can look “hip”)
  • It was marked down at an outlet store to fit my budget

Now you know how I make buying decisions. Oops, I’m getting off-track again…

Take three… I possess a jacket.

It’s become my favorite jacket. I use any excuse to wear it (which makes for some not very positive fashion statements). It doesn’t keep me very warm, and where I live, that is problematic. Yet, it also doesn’t stop me — like the post office, neither rain, nor sleet, nor dark of night will stop me from putting on my thin, faux-leather, ruby-colored, favorite jacket. (Besides, on cold days, the red shade goes well with my blue skin.)

Okay Scott, focus!

Back to the matter at hand, it’s my “favorite.” That’s what I keep trying to point out. I have a great deal of outerwear (reference previous comment about our local climate), but this particular covering is top of the list (although I have a gray wool overcoat that vies for the title – but I don’t want to get sidetracked again).

I find it fascinating that that we choose “favorites.”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: humor, Newspaper Column Tagged With: change, changing habits, excuse, favorite places, habit change

Why Does it Matter?

March 4, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Why does what you want to do matter?

woman-being-chased-by-question-marks

This is not an idle question.

Too often, we don’t make the changes we say we want because in reality the results don’t matter enough.

Oh, sure, they’re important. Yes, we’ll appreciate them. However, since we only have so much time in a day, something has to go and that’s not an easy rearrangement.

  • If the new habit isn’t important to us on an emotional level (even if it is on a logical level), we will not move forward.
  • If there is no urgency, we will not move forward.
  • If it’s not being done for us, but rather to appease someone else or because we “should,” we will not move forward.

To bust through these barriers and get over the wall of stagnation:

  • Set a specific time-related deadline (make it realistic).
  • Write down – and review regularly – how you will feel when you do the work it will take, rather than how much work you feel you have to do.
  • Reward yourself for every small step you take. Don’t wait until the end – or you’ll never get there.

Yes, it takes work, but if you focus on the benefits of that effort – instead of the effort – you will be successful.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Motivational Monday, Overcoming Obstacles, planning, Procrastination, Productivity Tagged With: achieving your goals, habit, habit change, priorities, stagnation, top priorities

Living in the Here and Now

November 28, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Time is relative —

and who better to know that than Albert Einstein, who said,

“Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour.  Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.”

This concept affects us in virtually everything we do.

You need an unpleasant medical procedure, like a root canal. An appointment is scheduled a few weeks out. So, why is it that the days prior to the appointment fly by; yet, once you’re firmly planted in the chair, the minutes can’t move fast enough?

Your dream vacation, 14 days in a tropical paradise, is approaching in two weeks. Waiting to get on the plane takes “forever.” However, once you land, you know those exact same 14 days will shoot by at light-speed.

This fluidity boils down to a simple, twisted fact:

The more we want something, the longer it takes to get here and the faster it zips by. As a corollary, the more we want to avoid something, the quicker it shows up and the longer it remains.

Referencing the previous examples, since I really, really want to be in Hawaii, the wait-time to experience it is long-drawn-out. Yet, in a cruel twist of fate, since I don’t want to leave once I’m there, the time on vacation dissipates very quickly.

On the other hand, because I would do virtually anything to avoid being subjected to a dental drill, that appointment approaches more rapidly. However, since I so want to bolt from the dental chair, the period in which it holds me hostage slows to a crawl.

The concept of time’s flexibility is not new.

Though understanding it can make a significant impact on how to change one’s habits.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, mental health, Newspaper Column, Self Talk, willpower Tagged With: anxieties, concept of time, diet, habit change, time passing, willpower

Keep a Good Thought

September 14, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

My wife and I tried breaking our nightly routine.

To alleviate muscle aches, we deduced that if we each slept on side of the bed where the other person usually lies, we might arise pain free. (It made sense in the moment.)

I make no claim that swapping pillows is a valiant act of bravado. That does nothing to diminish the reality that it, in fact, was awkward. Not simply “I-normally­-don’t–wear–this-color­-so-I-feel-like-everyone’s-staring-at-me” unpleasant; it was more akin to “Did-I-forgot-to-zip-something?” anxiety. We tossed, turned, bumped into each other multiple times, and waited twitchily for the arrival of Hypnos, the God of Slumber, only to be jilted on the mattress. After several fidgety hours, reverting to positions of yore, we obtained at last a modicum of shut-eye.
It’s not as if my bride and I, while writing our vows, discussed who would lay claim to which side of the bed.

“Do you, Scott, promise to love, cherish, and support Mary Ann until the end of your days — while swearing to snooze faithfully on the section of bed furthest from the nightstand?”

No, that’s not how it happens. Customs emerge. One moment, it’s an arbitrary behavior, next instant: Habit. Isn’t that how it is?

We set up repetitive behaviors for our ease; then, something alters them.

We are naked, abandoned, and lonely. Without habit’s landmarks, direction is lost; uneasiness swamps us. So, we rush back as quickly as possible, reassured finally by the embrace of the familiar.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Habits, Newspaper Column, Self Talk Tagged With: anxiety, changing habits, creatures of habit, customs, good sleep habits, habit, habit change, nightly routine, old habits, repetitive behaviors

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