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Picking Favorites

March 6, 2013 By Scott "Q" Marcus

I own a fake leather red jacket.

Well, I guess that’s not an accurate description; the jacket is not fake. It’s real – and it is indeed bright red. What’s bogus is the “leather.” It appears to me to be leather but it’s really not. It’s way too thin.

Anyway, I’m distracted; let me start again.

I have a red faux-leather jacket. It has a simulated  pocket (notice I cleverly avoided the use of the word “fake”) on the left breast area with a label specifying the brand. I didn’t know that was the emblem of a certain designer brand as I’m oblivious to those sorts of details, and would most likely remain so if not for my friends pointing it out (and being duly impressed). So, I guess I could say I possess a designer jacket.

the red jacket

That didn’t matter to me as I purchased it because:

  • I was cold
  • The jacket made me look “hip” (as much as a 58-year old guy can look “hip”)
  • It was marked down at an outlet store to fit my budget

Now you know how I make buying decisions. Oops, I’m getting off-track again…

Take three… I possess a jacket.

It’s become my favorite jacket. I use any excuse to wear it (which makes for some not very positive fashion statements). It doesn’t keep me very warm, and where I live, that is problematic. Yet, it also doesn’t stop me — like the post office, neither rain, nor sleet, nor dark of night will stop me from putting on my thin, faux-leather, ruby-colored, favorite jacket. (Besides, on cold days, the red shade goes well with my blue skin.)

Okay Scott, focus!

Back to the matter at hand, it’s my “favorite.” That’s what I keep trying to point out. I have a great deal of outerwear (reference previous comment about our local climate), but this particular covering is top of the list (although I have a gray wool overcoat that vies for the title – but I don’t want to get sidetracked again).

I find it fascinating that that we choose “favorites.”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: humor, Newspaper Column Tagged With: change, changing habits, excuse, favorite places, habit change

If I Was King of the World…

March 7, 2012 By Scott "Q" Marcus

I'd make it easy to diet and be healthyShould I be anointed Grand Poobah of all things earthly, I would make significant changes.

As a benevolent leader, I wouldn’t be “mean;” but be confident I’d wield my power to appropriately mete out consequences to society’s ne’er-do-wells.

My first task would be to create a “discomfort pistol.”

Whenever someone did something rude, totally self-absorbed, or incredibly inconsiderate, they would be tagged with an invisible beam by this gun. It wouldn’t cause any damage — but for the next 24 hours, they wouldn’t be able to get physically comfortable, no matter what they did. A good analogy would be a stiff neck or a Charlie Horse. It’s not enough to incapacitate you, certainly not enough of an issue to go to the doctor. Yet, all day, it nags at you and the ache doesn’t quit until you get a night’s sleep.

We would use it on people who talk on cell phones or text in theaters, or aim it at the jerk tail-gating us on the freeway. It would exceptionally appropriate for ignoramuses who park in handicapped parking spaces and don’t need to. Give them — on an extremely minor level — a bit of poetic justice.

Anyone shot with the beam would be all right the next day, but at least for 24 hours, there would be justice. Maybe, eventually, they’d learn.

Of course, since fitness is such an issue for all of us, I’d make getting fit more fun.

Stationary bicycles would actually transport you to your favorite places — only as long as you were exercising. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, Exercise, Health, humor, Newspaper Column, Weight Loss Tagged With: benevolent leader, diet, dieters, favorite places, grand poobah, humor, perfect day, poetic justice, stationary bicycles, warm sands, yamuna river

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