Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus
This was actually triggered by something that happened to me today. I was moving a table to get to an electric socket. In the process, I knocked a ceramic mug of pens off the table. I caught the mug before it hit the ground and therefore prevented the pens from spilling all over the floor.
We are very quick to beat ourselves up – and incredibly slow to congratulate ourselves. We also tend to dismiss it when others do, by showing off our “big but.” You know…
A friend says, “Wow! You look like you’ve lost a whole lot of weight! You look great!”
We reply, “Yeah, but, I’ve got so far to go.”
Or, someone says, “You are a great mom! I can’t believe how well you take care of your children.”
And again, “Yeah, but, you should have seen me last week. I was like a banshee.”
There is a tremendous difference between being proud of what we do and being conceited. Each time we deny a compliment — or beat ourselves up over a mistake – we avoid the opportunity to feel good. That engages our habit (whether that be eating, drinking, smoking, stress…) and we end up feeling worse, furthering the drive to engage in the habit.
Enjoy a compliment this week – and pass one on.
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We are great about insulting ourselves and not so good about complimenting ourselves. For example, a co-worker points out that you did a great job dealing with a difficult customer. Instead of saying, “Thank you,” we say, “Yeah, BUT, I really wanted to lay into her.”
A friend notices your parenting skills and comments, “You are a wonderful mom!” You say, “Yeah, BUT, you should have seen me last night.”
Or your spouse says, “You’re looking great. It looks like you’ve lost a lot of weight.” You reply, “Yeah, BUT, I cheated all week.”
By denying what we do well, we feel bad. When we feel bad, we engage in habits that make us feel better. Those are usually the habits that hold us back. So, each time we put ourselves down, we increase the likelihood that we will hold ourselves back.
A compliment denied is punishment self inflicted. It’s not conceited to honor what you do well, it’s necessary. Try it (and make sure to find a reason to compliment others too).
Special bonus: if you’d like to hear a fun ten-minute audio of a presentation I did on this very topic, you can go to MarcusStrivingImprefection10Minutes
Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.