This Time I Mean It

Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus

  • Home
  • Change Habits
    • 21 Day Habit Change.com
  • Blog
    • Newspaper Column
    • Motivational Monday
  • Work With Scott
    • Meet Scott
    • Scott’s Powerful Fun Style
    • For Meeting Planners
    • Speaking Topics
    • What Conference Attendees Say
    • Book Scott to Speak
  • Shop
  • Meet Scott
  • Testimonials
  • Contact Us
    • Sign up for the FREE ezine
You are here: Home / Archives for sadness

How The Shootings Have Affected Us: Finding the Best in Each Other

June 16, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

There were a dozen of us scattered about the tables in the coffee shop.

Some were working on computers, others having quiet conversations; personally, I was preparing for a class later that day. Of course, there were a handful of baristas behind the counter.

No one — including myself — paid much mind when he opened the door to enter.

He looked “relatively normal;” forty-something, about five and half feet in height. His clothes and dark brown hair were slightly disheveled and somewhat dirty; both of those could have been attributed to him being a workingman ending a long day. What was not “relatively normal” was as he stood at the entrance, blocking others from coming or going, he raised his voice and started shouting at us, making direct eye contact across the room with me.

At first I wasn’t sure what he was saying; caught off guard by what is certainly not expected or standard behavior.

The gist of his tirade was we “had better change teams immediately” or we were all “going to pay.” His screaming was steeped with fury and rage and punctuated with a string of expletives culminating in a warning about how he was going to “f” us all up. Stunned, we sat; gawking and puzzled, until he lifted something from near his worn shoes, slammed shut the door, turned on his heels, and disappeared into the foot traffic flowing along the thoroughfare.

We – the patrons and employees – glanced at each other. One of the servers, about to leave for her break, commented, “I think I’ll wait a few minutes.” Several moments passed; heart rates returned to normal. Our behaviors returned to what they were prior the rude interruption.

I have to be honest; when he bent down, I flinched.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Current Events, Hope, News, Newspaper Column Tagged With: emotions, facing fear, News, overcoming fear, politics, sadness

Farewell To Someone I used to Know

April 13, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus

joan-and-me

The two of us circa 1981

Her mother set us up on our first date.

“My daughter just graduated. She’s really creative, very cute, and, well, you’re always joking about having nothing to do on the weekends — so, I thought…”

“Invasion of the Body Snatchers,” followed by chocolate pancakes at IHOP, was our first meeting.

Within months, we lived together – much to the chagrin of her parents. Before a year passed on the calendar, we were married; moving from Redding to Bakersfield. I worked as a nighttime DJ starting at 5:00 PM. Her job began at 7:00 AM. Arriving home at one AM, I’d wake her up so we could spend time together before going back to sleep. At six AM, she’d get me up so we could do the same, before I returned to bed. When you’re in your twenties, you can do it.

Two years later, she was pregnant and we relocated to the Northcoast. A couple years passed and our second son arrived.

People who have a baby because they think it will bring them closer together are horribly misguided. The added stress and cost of childrearing, plus the loss of half our income, chipped away at our fairy tale castle. Home ownership and long work hours accelerated the decay. Dragging myself home exhausted at day’s end was her long-awaited cue to relax, leaving me with household and child chores until I collapsed on the couch. There was no “us,” only “she” and “me.”

Drifting ever further apart, we became resentful and angry. Overeating was my method of handling it; she had her own vices. Our house became an armed camp. The marriage counselor eventually recommended divorce attorneys.

For awhile we co-parented; one week “on,” one week “off.” But while I dealt with my demons through therapy and weight reduction, she followed a different road, eventually severing contact with us and moving away.

Know that my intent is not to apply blame.

The cause of our breakup was not her fault nor was it mine; together we were a mis-matched blend; never meant to share a life. Apart, who knows what would have happened? That is also not to say that many good things didn’t come from our time together.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Health, Newspaper Column, Relationships, Tribute Tagged With: death, death of a loved one, divorce, relationship problems, sadness

Stay in the Present

July 20, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment


Hanging on to past sadness and/or anger does nothing to help you lead a better life. Fear exists when we get too worried about the future.  [Read more…]

Filed Under: Motivational Monday, Power of Attitude, Self Talk Tagged With: anger, attitude, emotional responses, emotions, gratitude, happiness, overcoming fear, sadness

The Writer

December 19, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus

“I lost a whole lot of weight,” she said, her voice almost a whisper.

Depressed Overweight Woman

No eye contact was made; instead she seemly excessively absorbed in staring at her shoes. “But now, not only have I put it back on, but I’ve added 20 more pounds. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been. I can’t stand to look in a mirror. I don’t know what to do.” The sadness she felt practically dripped from her pores.

“That’s got to be frustrating,” I replied.

“…and frightening too!” she added. “When’s it going to stop?”

“Good question,” I answered, “What seems to be the cause?”

“Well, I’m obviously eating too much.” She tried to make it sound like an “ain’t-it-obvious” joke but the pain was louder than her laugh.

“That’s what’s so embarrassing,” she continued. “I just don’t know. It seems like I start out every day with great intentions. The problem is I work near a little mom-and-pop bakery. They make the best cakes and pies. So, on my break, I’ll find myself buying just one small slice, saying I’ll control myself. The next thing I know, I’m like a machine that’s eats everything! Then my inner voice says, ‘Well as long as you blew it, you might as well really blow it. You can always start tomorrow’ and I really go crazy! Every day is just like the previous one; same broken promises, same result.”

She paused; the gold hoop earrings she wore swung slightly under her brown shoulder length hair as she collected her thoughts. Picking up her gaze, she asked, “What do you think I should do?”

I always find that a difficult question.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Diet, Excuses, Gratitude, Happiness, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Weight Loss, willpower Tagged With: changing habits, frustration, handling temptation, making change, sadness

Your Feelings are Real

November 3, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

dog-emotions

Whatever you are feeling, whenever you’re feeling it – is real.

Your emotions are as real as your limbs and they have vital functions.

Of the four “primary colors of emotions:”

  • Sadness cleanses
  • Fear and Anger are each designed to protect
  • Happiness builds community and enriches your life

It’s no one else’s right to change what you feel or to tell you you’re wrong. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Group Support, Happiness, Motivational Monday, Power of Attitude, Relationships Tagged With: anger, emotional responses, emotional states, fear, happiness, sad, sadness, thoughts and feelings

« Previous Page
Next Page »

Search the Site

Search Products

Blog Categories

Recent Posts

  • Bathroom Humor
  • Scared of my Shadow
  • You are not who you think you were
  • Who are you? Are you sure?
  • Exasperating – the verb

Book An Appointment With Scott

Get a free coaching call by following this link. No obligation.

Contact Us Today

Scott "Q" Marcus
707 834.4090
scottq@thistimeimeanit.com
======
Join Scott's mailing list at http://eepurl.com/LsSIX

Product Categories

  • Accessories
  • Books
  • Coaching Programs
  • DVDs and CDs
  • Instant Downloads
  • Kindle Books
  • Seminars
  • Shirts
  • Site Advertising
  • subscription
  • Uncategorized

Book An Appointment

Recent Posts

  • Bathroom Humor
  • Scared of my Shadow
  • You are not who you think you were
  • Who are you? Are you sure?
  • Exasperating – the verb

This Time I Mean It Copyright © 2026 · All rights reserved · Log in