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You are here: Home / Archives for disagreement

Affirmation: Admitting Errors

May 16, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It takes strength to admit errors.

There is nothing courageous in hanging on fiercely to your errors. We all make mistakes but it takes strength and courage to admit them to ourselves and, even more so, to others.

If I refuse to admit my mistakes, the energy I would have spent on new projects must be bottled up on maintaining a faulty status quo.

However, once I accept my mistakes, it clears me to move forward, making sure I do not repeat my errors.

I am strong enough to change. I admit my errors.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Affirmation, Conflict Management, mental health Tagged With: admitting errors, affirmation, correcting mistakes, disagreement, perfectionism, strength and courage

How to Get Along Better With Co-Workers & Break Your Annoying Habits

April 10, 2012 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

I’d always prided myself on being an excellent employee with a hard work ethic and focus on pleasing the client.

But, until recently, I never realized I was an annoying coworker to others in the office. I came to work on time, often arriving early, did my work and greatly increased the company’s profits. But unbeknownst to me, some of my work habits were driving the other workers in the office nuts, even though that was never my intention.

cooperation cooperating attitudeAt the very least, you and your coworkers will spend 40 hours per week together. If travel and overtime occurs, those hours are extended even further. Bad habits such as cellphone use, being too talkative, leaving work early and surfing the Internet can annoy your office mates the way they were annoying mine. The tips below can help you avoid becoming an annoying worker like I was.

  • Identify Bad Habits. It’s simply not possible to change a habit if you don’t realize a negative one exists. Fortunately, a kind coworker took me aside one day and informed me that my talkative nature was getting on everyone’s nerves. I thought I was being friendly, but she let me know that I had a tendency to be too talkative and it was distracting people from their work. Once I knew my chatty ways were bothering other people in the office I was able to fix the problem.
  • Replace the Negative With the Positive. I often spent so much time talking during the workday that I had to skip lunch and eat while working at my desk. After my coworker talked to me a light bulb went on and I realized that, if I was more productive and less talkative during the day, I could join my coworkers in the cafeteria for lunch. When you can find a positive substitute for a negative habit, it’s easy to make a change.
  • Productive Association. Whether we realize it or not, we create associations in our minds between events and people. Some of my coworkers had associated me with feelings of annoyance. I had associated some of mine with rudeness. When I started saving my talkativeness for lunchtime my coworkers and I got along much better and started spending more time working together on projects. Soon gathering around one another’s desks created an association of productivity…something we all appreciated.
  • Use Willpower for Greater Success. There are still times when a thought pops into my head and I feel the urge to share it with my coworkers right away. But, instead, I write it down and save it for later or record a message on my PDF. Practicing willpower has helped me focus my time and attention on my work and, as a result, our entire office has increased sales and company profits.

Nowadays, many businesses are streamlining their hiring process and weeding out potentially ineffective employees through employee assessments. Companies such as Exact Hire help businesses narrow down their candidates by identifying positive and negative behaviors and characteristics. Those who are searching for a job are smart to nix those bad habits before the first interview to ensure they stand a chance of getting through an employee assessment with success. Although it’s possible to break bad habits like I did, it’s better to take a proactive approach by not being an annoying coworker in the first place. Thankfully, I was able to change my habits and repair the relationships I had with my coworkers. But it wasn’t easy and I had to work twice as hard to gain their trust and respect.

Filed Under: Business Goals, Change, Guest Author Tagged With: annoying coworker, annoying habits, bad habits, change, conflict, coworkers, disagreement, feelings, intention, rudeness, work ethic

Overcoming the Negative

February 14, 2012 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

attitude - overcoming obstacles - goals - accomplishment

It’s impossible to go through life without experiencing negativity.

A cheating spouse, a horrible boss, a conniving friend or family member; the list is endless, and we’ve all had at least one negative experience in our lives.  It’s important, however, that we overcome those negative people and experiences so that we can learn, move on, and live.

Here’s how I overcame a negative personal experience.

I dated someone for nearly seven years and was expecting for us to grow old together, happily-bickering into our late years.  I was sorely mistaken, so mistaken in fact that I was caught off guard when he broke up with me… over a social network.  I later found out that he had been cheating on me for quite some time.

My initial reaction to the break-up was to harp on the fact that not only had he broken up with me, someone he claimed to love, in such an insensitive, cruel way, but on top of everything he had been so conniving as to be unfaithful.  I just couldn’t let it go; it consumed me and was all I could think about.  I was stuck.  I couldn’t begin moving on because I wasn’t allowing myself; I was just so concentrated on being outraged with the way he had treated me and our relationship.  Now, nearly a year after this experience, I have a completely different perspective.  Like that Cardigans song, “You live, you learn,” and here is what I learned one needs to do to overcome a negative experience:

Analyze Your Situation

My mistake in overcoming my negative experience was harping on what this man had done to me.  What we need to do when something negative happens to us, is understand that:

  1. It happened.
  2. Someone else perpetrated the negative action brought against us.
  3. We cannot control what that person decided to do.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Conflict Management, Guest Author, Overcoming Obstacles, Power of Attitude Tagged With: cheating spouse, different perspective, disagreement, family member, happiness, mistake, negative experience, personal experience, quality of life, relationship, relationships

Control Issues Anyone?

January 9, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

You cannot control anybody but yourself.

If you try, you’ll drive both of you crazy.

If you’re having trouble getting on the same page with someone else, it’s important to remember that the only person you control in the situation is yourself.

Even if the other person is “wrong,” (almost always a questionable assumption) telling him that usually will not be as effective as looking inside yourself and seeing what you can do differently. Then, slow yourself down, take a deep breath. And move forward with your new plan.

Obviously, what you’re doing now is not getting you what you want (unless it’s a disagreement). You might as well try something else.
[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, Motivational Monday, Relationships Tagged With: assumption, conflict, disagreement, emotions, feelings, happiness

Four Rules for Disagreeing

September 12, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It is OK to disagree.

Sometimes, for our  health (mental or physical), or for the health of others, we actually must disagree with someone.

It’s not a problem to disagree, it’s HOW we disagree that matters.

A few quick suggestions:

  • Begin your statements with “I feel…” rather than “you are…”
  • Understand your intention is to state your view, not to put down the other person’s view
  • Listen to what he or she said
  • Realize the two of you might not agree no matter what

If we look at disagreements as an opportunity to enhance a relationship rather than a test of wills, the anxiety level will be lowered, the process will be smoother, and we just might get what we want.

Filed Under: Conflict Management, Member Benefits, Motivational Monday Tagged With: anxiety level, articles on conflict management, conflict, disagreement, disagreements, intention, relationship, relationships, test of wills

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