Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus
We might not like the choice. We might not be immediately aware of the choice. it might not even be the best choice. But we are never stuck with only one option.
The key is to ask ourselves, “How” do we change this, not “Why” are we here.
When the crisis is over, figure out why.
When “stuff” happens to us over and over again, we have a normal tendency to throw up our arms in frustration and say, “WHY is this happening to me again?”
The better question is “HOW do I deal with it?” Better yet, “HOW do I stop it from happening again?”
WHY is an intellectual word; it’s great for figuring out the cause and for planning. HOW is an action word, it always paints a path forward.
I don’t remember who told me that, and as much as I find the term “failures” to be a sloppy choice of words, it’s a valid concept. Day by day, hour-by-hour, we face options. Often, one path leads us forward while another locks us in place. Why then do we opt to stay where we are?
The human psyche is past complex and the reasons are beyond count. Sometimes, we didn’t realize alternatives existed until we look back. Possibly, the choices did not seem that diverse; in effect it was six of one, half a dozen of the other; any port in a storm. Maybe it was a snap decision without the necessary time to truly evaluate the results. Yet, more times than not, no sugarcoating the answer: we had an excuse.
At any moment, any one of us can dig deep into our sack of justification pulling forth numerous vindications why we make our choices. “Not enough time; people will think less of me; it’s never worked before, why will this be different?” As the stakes amplify, immovability expands, the opposite of what needs to happen.
“We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.” ~ Frank Tibolt
“‘Excellence’ is not a gift, but a skill that takes practice. We do not act ‘rightly’ because we are ‘excellent’, in fact we achieve ‘excellence’ by acting ‘rightly.'” ~ Plato
“Fake it ’til you make it.” ~ Attributed to Alcoholics Anonymous
When people ask me how I lost over 130 pounds, this is the answer.
I don’t know how I made the connection – it was one of those so-called ‘Aha! Moments’ that so many people talk about. I had a bona fide epiphany one day as I was sitting in my living room, crying and feeling sorry for myself. Here is the story, and I hope you find it meaningful to you.
Once I had lost about 90 pounds, and I was no longer in what I kindly refer to as “the 200 Club,” meaning I no longer weighed over 200 pounds, I hit the mother of all plateaus. I couldn’t seem to get out of the 190s no matter what I tried. Everything I had done to lose 90 pounds just wasn’t working for me any more – or so it seemed. And so, I did what any normal human being would – I had a break down. I was so angry, so frustrated, so desperate I just didn’t know what to do with myself. And suddenly, it became very apparent that I had reached a fork in the road on my journey. What should I do?
1) I could quit or…
2) I could forge ahead.
Well, I could go back to my old habits and slowly but surely undo all of my hard work. “But,” I argued, “at least I wouldn’t have to think about eating healthy and making sure I had time to exercise everyday. In fact, I would never have to think about ‘dieting’ ever again.” It was a happy thought until I realized that it wasn’t true. Just as I had old eating and exercising habits, I had old thought habits too. I knew it wouldn’t be long before I started beating myself up for being fat and lazy (my apologies to myself, but this is the kind of self-talk I regularly engaged in before I decided to change it) and that I would start feeling miserable and guilty like I did when I weighed 287 pounds. Then I remembered how physically painful it was to carry around those extra 90 pounds. So, it didn’t take me long to decide that all quitting would buy me was a ticket right back to Square One.
At the time, it seemed all I could do was spin my wheels and go no where. “I’m really trying here, and I’m not making any progress!” I angrily told myself. But, I suddenly thought that perhaps there was something I was missing. I asked myself, “How do thin people live?” And I honestly didn’t know the answer. The only time I was ever thin was in college, and I wasn’t a healthy person then. I could go days without eating a bite. It’s very easy to be thin when you’re starving yourself. I never had a healthy relationship with food or my own self-image. How could I know how “normal” people behaved? There was no way for me to know. [Read more…]