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You are here: Home / Archives for change

Do You Have it in You?

August 29, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I have a theory that I believe strongly influences whether or not we succeed at what we want.

I understand that’s a big promise and it’s going to take a bit of explanation, so bear with me.

My hypothesis: When we are happy with our actions, we take credit for them. When not, we blame them, not us. In effect, good results are internalized; bad results are externalized. This is critical because where we place that control determines our future results.

For example, you surprise your husband with a thoughtful gift for no reason other that being a loving life-partner. He walks in the door unaware and discovers the trinket — with a loving note — centered on the coffee table, asking, “What prompted this?” Per my premise, because you’re pleased with yourself for being so considerate, your reply will be internalized. “I just wanted to do something nice for you; no special reason.” Notice you spoke in first person; you owned the action.

As another illustration, the results of your diet are finally showing; and the scale, the measuring tape, and your friends’ comments are all reflecting it.

“You look great!” says your friend. “What are you doing?”

Your reply: “I’m eating better and exercising more.”

See? When happy, we lay claim to our actions.

Yet, should the situation be frustrating or what we deem as unsuccessful, we abandon it quicker than one can shrug his shoulders and say, “Who me?” [Read more…]

Filed Under: goals, Newspaper Column, Psychology, Self Talk, Weight Loss Tagged With: change, conflict, diet, hypothesis, lifestyle change, outlook

Three Types of Dieters…

August 22, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus

There are three types of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who are not.

Okay, it’s an old joke, but I always get a chuckle out of it.

There are three types of dieters.

We shall begin with the “Planners.”

Similar to accountants, engineers, and folks who have to make sure all the “T’s” are crossed, and all the “I’s” are dotted, I assume these folks are proficient with project management software, budgets, contracts, and run a tight, well-organized ship at home. They tackle weight loss with the same fervor and methodology they would build a bridge: detailed efficiency and a clear eye on the goal. They determine how many pounds must be shed by which date, divide by number of weeks, calculate average weight loss, establish the necessary “additional calorie burn” per day – and plot a path to the end point.

“Planners” will have detailed food journals (“three and half ounces of chicken, baked at 350 degrees; long-grain rice, one half cup; broccoli, steamed – with a 1/8 teaspoon of olive oil”). They will often proudly also share a graph of their progress coupled with spreadsheets projecting future trends with appropriate predicted goal dates. Planners schedule their lives to hit their objective, and by golly, they’ll do it.

Planners — and their willingness to rearrange day-to-day living to achieve what matters to them — impress me.

I however, would not receive that moniker.

I reside much more on the right side of the brain, falling within the “Modifiers” label.

Although some might call us “unorganized,” I take umbrage at that descriptor, as I am quite orderly. I simply find it difficult to stick with one task from beginning to end without breaks along the way. I get things done — and at the risk of being immodest — I am told I do them well. However, I’m not a “black and white” kind of guy. Don’t weigh me down with details and specifics. Tell me where you need to be and I’ll get us there; just let me figure out the roads we take, and I assure you, we’ll both be happier.

We are artists, philosophers, and motivators. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Diet, humor, Motivation, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Perfectionsim, planning, Productivity, Weight Loss Tagged With: change, complainers, diet advice, dieters, dieting, modifiers, olive oil, planners, willingness

Letting Go of Old Baggage

August 15, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Despite its problems (and there are many), whenever I travel, I attempt to use our local airport.

It’s usually more expensive than driving to San Francisco and flying from there. However, I prefer to support our local economy, and upon totaling the added time and expenses of driving six hours, a higher price for long-term parking, as well as the possibility of a night in a hotel, it usually turns out to be equivalent. Yet, when the flight is $840 from here and $325 from SFO, do the math.

After returning to SFO from Houston (delayed of course), we took the bus to long-term parking. I strapped my suitcases together using the “clickable” belt attached to one, fastening my computer case on the handle of the case nearest me. We walked to the car, my short “suitcase train” in tow. At the vehicle, I unclicked the luggage, put my computer in the trunk and, by the time I turned around, one bag had vanished. Imagine going to the grocery store and putting a sack in your car, turning to get a second one — and there’s nothing there. It was that rapid.

Due to the speed of the incident, my initial thought was that I left a suitcase on the shuttle, or it fell off somewhere between the bus stop and the car. We returned to the bus but it was not there. We contacted security; nothing was reported. I felt like I had lost my mind and began wondering if I had imagined two suitcases. Should my traveling partner (and the bus driver) not confirm that they saw me with two cases; I would have doubted my sanity.

It gradually became apparent that someone walked by, snatched it and continued on his merry way.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Inspiration, mental health, Newspaper Column, Relationships Tagged With: acceptance, air travel, airport parking lot, change, crime, lessons, letting go, luggage, possessions, stealing, suitcase, theft, travel, travelers

Using The Human Condition To Make A Change

July 24, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

By guest author Josh Landson

Many people have equated human nature with human condition and use this connection to justify delaying or outright avoiding difficult decisions. The fact of the matter is that the phrases are very different from one another. Human nature refers to the instincts that we have: the ways in which we act and think without the influence of our upbringing and culture. The human condition is the opposite of human nature: it is a combination of the social, personal, and cultural aspects of our being. The human condition is extremely important in our lives because it allows us to rise above our nature.

When a person says that human nature is the reason they cannot make a decision in their lives, they should be challenging themselves to overcome their biological design. In many cases, a person resigns themselves to their fate, stating that ‘whatever happens, happens.’ However, the reason that human beings have achieved so much in our short history and triumphed above all other organisms is that we strive beyond what is expected of us and do what seems impossible. For many people, settling for whatever happens is a defense mechanism. If you do not make a decision, you do not have to be responsible for the repercussions.

In order to get past this monumental roadblock, a person has to tap into their human condition.

It requires a complete change in the way you think. If you are avoiding change and denying decision making, you have to realize that your action is in itself a decision! The decision you are making is not to act. Thus the consequences are your responsibility just the same as if you had acted.

There is another reason why people avoid or delay making a change.

Most of the time, people do not trust themselves over a decision. They think they aren’t good enough, smart enough, strong enough, and so on. This insecurity plagues every individual and it takes a lot of mental courage to overcome it. However, our human condition tells us that we are capable of achieving great things. If you are going to make a monumental decision, take a minute to do a mental exercise: take all of your presuppositions about your weakness to be true, and picture what the worst outcome would be. Now think about how you can rebuild from that outcome. You will find soon enough that your human condition allows you to work out any problem if you apply enough effort and determination.

Lastly, if you are still hesitant about making a change in your life, think about the historical precedents we have. Think about what would have happened if Martin Luther King Jr. was too afraid to make a stand for civil rights, or if Gandhi didn’t fight for the poor, or if no one stood up to the likes of Hitler. There have been many life changing events in history that wouldn’t have occurred without some very brave people. And you have the exact same human nature as them! Avoiding and delaying decision making will lead to a lot of mental turmoil and self-doubt. Although you may be uncertain about a change in your life, if you do not venture down that path it is something you’re likely to regret for a long time.
[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Guest Author, Happiness, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Self Talk Tagged With: change, consequences, courage, defense mechanism, difficult decisions, insecurity, lifestyle change, motivation

Infographic: All About Procrastination

June 23, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

This is a great infographic about all things procrastination, provided by  www.thegappartnership.com.  There are some fascinating statistics in it. For example

  • people who procrastinate more tend to drink more
  • 46% of people say procrastination is having a negative effect on their lives

Check it out. (Um, don’t wait!) [Read more…]

Filed Under: Procrastination Tagged With: change, guest author, infographic, procrastination, statistics

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