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You are here: Home / Archives for complainers

Dealing with Complainers

October 16, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus

They are numerous, ever-present, ubiquitous; present at work, parties, and even family gatherings.

complaining-man-ranting If attitude is indeed contagious, they are the Ebola virus of a positive outlook. Bringing their own “gloomy sunshine” wherever they go, they leave behind a trail of mental and emotional destruction wider than a hurricane’s wake. Should we discover the cure to all illnesses tomorrow, they would protest that it put the doctors out of business.

woman-rantingWe can tell they’re nearby, even before they open their mouths. Dour expressions firmly etched into grim-faced expressions and unconstrained bitterness dripping from their souls, they pummel, pound, and persist until they reveal the dark cloud behind any silver lining. Even after short encounters with these denizens of dourness, their dark energy can drain the happiness from even the most upbeat individual. They are Eyore to our Tigger, Ying to our Yang, frowns to our smiles; they are (insert ominous music…) the “bearers of badatude.”

Whether it’s due to the state of the world, the change in seasons, or just bad luck, they do seem to have multiplied lately. (Maybe it’s their mating season?) For whatever the reason, it seems more difficult to avoid them than it used to be.

Ever the helper — and in the interest of public service and a better community attitude — I offer a few suggestions on how to deal with complainers.

Rule One: Understand that when a freight train is roaring down the tracks at you, GET OUT OF THE FREAKIN’ WAY! Do not plant yourself firmly, attempting to block its path, expecting to convince it to take the switch. Instead, realize that batatude folks are better about plowing you over and dragging your formerly upbeat demeanor into a negative mood than you will ever be at changing their direction. They are professionals; having honed the dark art to a fine talent, they inflict bad attitude among even the most optimistic individuals. You — on the other hand — pale in experience when it comes to turning it around. It’s not a fair competition; don’t even try. You will lose. Move elsewhere; if not physically, then certainly to the happy place in your head.

Having not been able to circumnavigate Mister Miserable, the next step is to put it in perspective by employing the “Five Year Rule.”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Conflict Management, mental health, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude Tagged With: attitude, bad attitude, complainers, dealing with others, feelings, five year rule, frustration, holidays, relationships

Three Types of Dieters…

August 22, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus

There are three types of people in this world: those who are good at math, and those who are not.

Okay, it’s an old joke, but I always get a chuckle out of it.

There are three types of dieters.

We shall begin with the “Planners.”

Similar to accountants, engineers, and folks who have to make sure all the “T’s” are crossed, and all the “I’s” are dotted, I assume these folks are proficient with project management software, budgets, contracts, and run a tight, well-organized ship at home. They tackle weight loss with the same fervor and methodology they would build a bridge: detailed efficiency and a clear eye on the goal. They determine how many pounds must be shed by which date, divide by number of weeks, calculate average weight loss, establish the necessary “additional calorie burn” per day – and plot a path to the end point.

“Planners” will have detailed food journals (“three and half ounces of chicken, baked at 350 degrees; long-grain rice, one half cup; broccoli, steamed – with a 1/8 teaspoon of olive oil”). They will often proudly also share a graph of their progress coupled with spreadsheets projecting future trends with appropriate predicted goal dates. Planners schedule their lives to hit their objective, and by golly, they’ll do it.

Planners — and their willingness to rearrange day-to-day living to achieve what matters to them — impress me.

I however, would not receive that moniker.

I reside much more on the right side of the brain, falling within the “Modifiers” label.

Although some might call us “unorganized,” I take umbrage at that descriptor, as I am quite orderly. I simply find it difficult to stick with one task from beginning to end without breaks along the way. I get things done — and at the risk of being immodest — I am told I do them well. However, I’m not a “black and white” kind of guy. Don’t weigh me down with details and specifics. Tell me where you need to be and I’ll get us there; just let me figure out the roads we take, and I assure you, we’ll both be happier.

We are artists, philosophers, and motivators. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Diet, humor, Motivation, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Perfectionsim, planning, Productivity, Weight Loss Tagged With: change, complainers, diet advice, dieters, dieting, modifiers, olive oil, planners, willingness

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