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You are here: Home / Archives for buddhist

Expect Nothing

April 14, 2021 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

What would life be like if you released all expectations of how things should be, taking your day minute-by-minute, focused always on the present; letting events unfold as they will?

Imagine a day where you didn’t expect anything from anyone or anything.

I don’t mean – as Frank Sinatra sang, “Roll myself up in a big ball and die;” rather totally, unequivocally releasing all pre-suppositions and judgment – from the minute to the significant. You wouldn’t fret about the weather. No longer would anger be the default reaction when tailgated on the freeway. The cost of groceries or the number of your bills wouldn’t sway you. You would be a student of the news; not an angry viewer. If someone didn’t treat you in a manner you considered “fair,” you’d move on, not held in a prison of perturbation.

Nothing would get under your skin; you’d be in a sublime, ever-calm, state of peace and acceptance.

Gautama Buddha lived 2500 years ago. Born to a royal family, he held within a great desire to help his people, liberating them from physical and mental tribulations. Giving up his inheritance, and setting out in search of the truth which would bring peace to the world; after seven years, he recognized that all sorrow was caused by attachment to having things stay the same when in fact they are constantly changing. As stated else wise, it was the expectation of what we assumed, rather than the acceptance of what is, that caused the hurt.

Think about it.

Not only do the physical world and our relationships change, but so even does our very being. Although Gautama wouldn’t know it, our bodies replace themselves with a new set of cells every seven years to ten years; some of our most important parts are revamped even more rapidly [sources: Stanford University, Northrup]. Physically you are no longer who you were not too long ago.

That’s a striking concept by itself, but let’s take it deeper. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Change, Happiness, Inspiration, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude, Self Talk Tagged With: acceptance, beliefs, buddhist, grief, sadness

Six Steps to Loving-Kindness

June 1, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

“Loving-kindness” (an endearingly awkward word, if you ask me) is a translation for the Pali word mettā, a Buddhist concept, though that English translation comes by way of a 16th-century Christian text whose author was originally trying to find an equivalent for the Greek Biblical term agape. In other words, loving-kindness transcends culture and religion and is a priceless attribute for any of us to cultivate.

Now how do we do that?

Well, get yourself into a seated meditation position, comfortable but alert, preferably somewhere quiet. It never hurts to gently concentrate on your posture and breathing, though that’s not really the main point here.

Below are the six steps traditionally recommended for loving-kindness meditation:

1. You must begin by extending loving-kindness to yourself. Sounds like the easy part, right? Well, in a way it is…but be honest. How often do you reflexively think harsh, counterproductive, even cruel thoughts about yourself? We all do it, no matter how proud or well-adjusted we may seem. Think about the worst moments of self-hatred you’ve had lately. Did you deserve that, really? Would you put up with an external voice talking to you like that? Would you be so judgmental of a friend?

2. Speaking of a friend, that’s our next stop. Think of someone you love dearly. It’s traditionally advised that this not be someone for whom you have any sexual or otherwise complicated feelings. Also don’t make this someone who’s passed on; though that can be a healthy exercise separately, we’re focusing our attention on the present, everyday world of existence. So envision your friend,

3. Next, a neutral person. Someone in your life tangentially, but toward whom you have no particular feelings for good or ill. Maybe the old guy down the block, or the clerk at the grocery store (as long as the line wasn’t too slow; that’d fit better for the next step). Project a positive feeling of love for them. Just feel it, for no particular reason. Why not?

4. Here’s where it gets hard. But this is perhaps the most rewarding step as well. Think about someone you can’t stand. Now try make yourself feel empathy for them. Envision them in a positive or sympathetic light. Imagine the best-case scenario, where they may be coming from. Then, even if you can’t excuse, just forgive. Remember Matthew 5:44, “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you.” The strange sense of peace you get is yours to keep, if you can, and more importantly, the world will be better for your gentle attitude.

5. All of the above. Hold all four in your mind at once: yourself, the good friend, the random neutral person, and your nemesis. Let yourself feel equal love and compassion for all members of this imagined gathering, this tiny band of stragglers on the tossing, turning raft of life.

6. Because of course, those four figures are just a few representatives of a vast, teeming world of hearts and minds. You’ve given your compassion a good work-out, now stretch it. Visualize it extending to everyone, everywhere, for all their pain and imperfection. Sure, a thought can’t save the world. But it’s a start.

That’s it. Hope you feel like making it a part of your routine. May loving-kindness reach you from others, and may you experience its great joy in your own life.

About the Author: This guest post was written by Amelia Wood,  a blogger who specializes in articles on medical billing and coding schools. Feel free to reach her at amelia1612@gmail.com.

Filed Under: Gratitude, Guest Author, Happiness, Power of Attitude Tagged With: buddhist, existence, feelings, loving kindness meditation, pali word, quality of life, relationships, religion, self acceptance, self hatred, thankfulness

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