We are imperfect beings; therefore so too are our relationships.
We engage mouth before activating brain. We dismiss our partner’s concerns as irrelevant. We can be inconsiderate, petty, or cranky. It’s part of the human condition; we mess up, and since we live with others, we hurt them. We don’t intend to — but we cannot deny that we do. It matters not how much energy you put into it, nor how long you’ve been together; even the finest relationships cause some pain.
At our end of days, should we be so fortunate to take inventory of our most important relationships and can proclaim them as “good” more times than not; then indeed they were “good.”
A successful long-term-relationship is not without flaw; rather, it:
- Incurs less damage during conflicts
- Recovers from that hurt more quickly and fully
- Tilts the scale in the direction of “happy” rather than “unhappy”
Short of choosing the wrong partner — those whose relationships fall asunder did not necessarily disagree more often than those with “good” relationships. Instead they had unrealistic expectations, conflating conflict with failure; and did not possess a method to handle disagreement when it raised its unpleasant, but unavoidable, head.
