This Time I Mean It

Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus

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The First Step in Feeling Better

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I take pride in this column.

Every Wednesday for eight years, I plant myself at my computer and conjure up what I hope is the best way to utilize the power of 600 words. Sometimes, ideas explode forth with volcanic fury and I cannot keep up. Oft times, I rearrange the pixels on my screen for the better part of a day. However, I trudge on until I am satisfied enough to forward it with pride to the editors who so graciously publish and post it.

What astounds me is which pieces get the most, or least, feedback.

Articles I’m convinced will generate a firestorm sometimes barely ignite a spark, whereby those I presumed would simply cause quiet contemplation will produce a flood of reactions via email, phone calls, and strangers approaching me to continue the discussion. Last week’s column (Practical, simple advice to feel better quickly) was of the latter category. I was pleasantly stunned with the number of comments about its practicality and helpfulness. Therefore, I will take it deeper.

What I did not have room for in that piece was the preliminary step, even prior to changing one’s ideas and behaviors. Preceding the rearrangement of one’s routines, one must query of himself: “Why am I going to change this?” Whether the topic is diet, relationships, finance, or attitude; this question is essential as it establishes motive, which affects the likelihood of success — or failure.

The answer will fall into one of three main categories:

  1. I want to live a better, happier, or healthier life
  2. I need to change or things will get worse
  3. I should do it (or I’ve been told I should do it)

With dedication, planning, and patience, the odds of success from number one or two is strong. This is so because the drive is internally motivated. Contrarily, if the inner voice replies with should, the results — if any — will be short-lived.

“Should” is the word used by the invisible committee of “they” to run our lives.

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Really Cool “Resolution” Idea

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One of my dearest friends, an excellent speaker, and the founder of the Double D Diner (a charity to which I regularly contribute) is Rich DiGirolamo. He puts out a bi-weekly newsletter. If you’re interested in attitude, change, morale, or just want something to make you think – subscribe to it. It’s free. However, if you do not, I am reprinting – with permission – today’s newsletter on a really clever “resolution” idea for this year. Let him know what you think.

It starts here:

For those of you who have been with me for a while you know my views on New Year’s Resolutions. We all know the statistics. We all have failed and not met the goal. We all have set the same resolution year after year. I gave up resolutions years ago. After resolutions I chose a word or phrase to hold onto as an anchor to dictate decisions and actions. It was a fun approach. Then my Shiny Bright Object Syndrome kicked in and I got bored with that.

This year I am taking a different approach to accomplish some of the things I want to get done. But most importantly the approach I am taking is about changing the way I work and creating some new habits.

Two weeks ago I wrote 2013 on a piece of paper and sat staring at if for a while. Then I got up from my desk drew a line down the center.  I don’t know why I did this. I just did. I sat down. I stared some more. And then I realized something.

How many of you reading this get bored easily? Distracted? Find yourself looking for the next thing to move onto? I’ll bet a lot of you reading this are shaking your head. My attention span to most things, probably is about 20 minutes.

And then it hit me. Today I offer you:

20 Minutes. 13 things. And make the New Year Happy!

It’s pretty simple. I’m committing to spending 20 minutes each day doing these things:

  1. Write – A blog entry. A portion of your upcoming newsletter. A thank you letter to a client or a vendor. A poem. A diary entry. A proposal. A few paragraphs of your book. Just spend some time writing.
  2. Play – A game. A sport. Color. Draw. Do arts and crafts. I keep modeling clay on my desk. Maybe you should too! You’d be surprised how playing stimulates the mind and creativity.
  3. Exercise – twenty minutes to clear your mind, stay in shape and give yourself that pat on the back that we all need!
  4. Market – people often tell me they forget to market their business. I remember a woman many years ago telling me she hates marketing. So every day she spends the first 30 minutes of her day doing the thing she hates most – marketing. Now as I am going to share in an upcoming Marketing Teleseries (geared for Parks & Recreation peeps, but good for everyone!), marketing when made fun will make you look forward to the task.
  5. Review & Implement – You’ve read books; and even took some notes. You’ve attended seminars and planned on implementing some of the ideas. All these notes and ideas got filed somewhere. Pull out several resources that really excited you. Review them and start implementing. Today. Every Day.  
  6. Share your story – If you’re like me you probably don’t tell enough people about your work. But I’ll bet you’re world is full off narcissistic, me, me, me types. You know the ones. Make it a point every day to spend time telling people what you’re doing and working on. This can be done in person, via email, on your social networks, however. Just commit to telling people what you are doing. Just don’t be arrogant about it.
  7. Ask for help – Perhaps this one and #6 should be chunked together. We all need help. We all have a personal or business challenge that could use another set of eyes, ears or brainwaves. Ask and you’ll usually receive. And if the narcissist starts making it about them and not you, be bold and tell him or her that today is your turn.
  8. Research – What interests you? What about your work is important. Maybe you have an interest in painting? Car repair? Thai cooking? In 2010 I knew nothing about the charity/nonprofit work when I founded The Double D Diner; The World’s Only Virtual Diner Fighting Hunger. I’m still learning about nonprofits – mainly because I want to do just the opposite; to break the jello mold on boring and depressing approaches to charitable work.  Spend 20 minutes per day researching a fun interest or business related topic and watch how fast you become an expert or acquire a new hobby. Great way to suck up to the boss too!
  9. Read – Magazines. Books. Articles. Not Facebook posts. Fiction. Non-fiction. Children’s books.
  10. Dream – You’ve got dreams. I do. We all do. Spend 20 minutes each day dreaming about that vacation, relationship, new business idea. Get a journal and jot down the ideas. Create a dream/vision board. Update it. Spend some alone time with it. Try to make your dream bigger, better and more outrageous each day.
  11. Be of Service – There are so many ways to volunteer. In person. Virtually. Joining discussion groups and just offering assistance. Do it from the place of seeking nothing in return.
  12. Clean up a mess –  It happened. Again. Those piles on your desk. The last 20 minutes of my day, every day is going to be about cleaning up the pile of open messes that accumulated during the day. Will be nice to sit down at my desk and not experience anxiety as the pile grows.
  13. Celebrate your success – And who says 13 is an unlucky number? Each day celebrate an accomplishment. Throw a party for yourself. Go out for a cup of coffee. Buy a small gift. Or just spend some time acknowledging that you’re moving forward.

Don’t know where this is going. Don’t know what it will deliver. But I’m excited because I see the potential and possibility. l see a new (fun) method of keeping me on task.

Can you do more than 20 minutes?

Of course? Do you need to do all 13 things every day? Of course not? But above is 4 ½ hours of time spent well. And that’s not a bad way to start a new year.

What do you think? Wanna join me? Change the 13 if you need to do so. Align them with your life.

Happy New Year!

See you in two weeks.
 
Rich

Did you know that Rich gives 10% of his speaking fees back to a hunger relief agency in your community?

Rich DiGirolamo
http://richdigirolamo.com

Is your organization ready for a “Recess” from a so-so employee experience? Employees first; customers second. Cuz if employees ain’t happy; no one is!

Keep yourself engaged. Subscribe to Rich’s Bi-Weekly Newsletter
Rich DiGirolamo ● PO Box 584, Marion CT 06444 ● 203.470.3388
Web: http://richdigirolamo.com
Twitter:@richdigirolamo and @RecessAtWork
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Benchmarking is Better Than a Resolution and Gets Better Results, Too!

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Guest Writer: Terri Langhans, CSP

Let’s put this behind us.

Benchmarks are better than resolutions and get better results!

Just days after New Year’s, my daughter and I were talking about making and breaking resolutions. She said hers would be easy to keep. She wanted to cook-in more. Kelsey is in her last semester of graduate school and races between school, internship, work and the gym, eating or munching on the run, or standing at the kitchen counter in her apartment.

I took a deep breath, pondering whether I should just say, “That’s a good one, sweetie,” wearing my Mommy Hat, or tell her what I really thought, wearing my Business Hat.

I managed both. “That’s a good one, sweetie. You’re such a good cook, and you’ll probably save money, too.” Pause. “And, you know what I tell people in my audiences–to put a number on it and create a benchmark. Otherwise it’s not going to happen.”

“It’s cooking, Mom, not accounting,” she sighed. “But what’s a benchmark, again?”

I told her this, essentially.

Fancy definition: it’s a number that measures an activity or result. Real world example: whether you want to cook-in, play tennis, exercise, read, write, walk, run, dance, speak, consult, sell or save more, put a number on it. How many times a MONTH will you make it happen? 1? 4? 8? 16? 20? 30?

Don’t say 10. I mean, you could say you’re going to do something 10 times a month, but it gives me a brain cramp. Yoga 10 times a month? Is that 2 times one week, 3 times the next week, then 2 and 3 again? Make the math easily divisible by 4, as in weeks in a month. Dial it down to 8 or crank it up to 12.

Forget the annual goal.

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Setting and Achieving Resolutions

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A few years ago, I set close to 30 resolutions for the new year.

I know I included a few silly items like “buy more cute socks,” but most of the items were new endeavors that I never crossed off my list. They included fairly typical, year-end mandates about exercising more, making radical changes to my wardrobe, and changing my physical appearance through diet. Though a rush of adrenaline and desire to foster change made my listmaking easy, following through was considerably more difficult.

It’s easy to say resolutions don’t work and leave it at that, but the simple truth is that I got distracted by fantasies of my “New Me!” results and didn’t consider the effort and expense required by the massive changes I was taking on. Case in point, my list included buying new living room furniture… without taking into account my budget or the fact that someone was still going to have to pay the rent and utilities while I languished on a new sofa. A much smaller step, such as ‘shop Goodwill for a secondhand ottoman; purchase by February 28’ would have likely resulted in the acquisition of furniture at a pace and financial output I could handle.

When setting goals, it’s best to be realistic.

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I’ve Got That Awkward Feeling

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Assumption #1:

Most people know what we need to do to be happier, healthier, or more productive.

Assumption #2:

Most of us do not do it.

Example: if I know that losing 10 pounds; or walking more; or spending more time with my family; will improve my life — and I have the wherewithal to do so — why don’t I just do it? Avoiding change is as much a part of the human condition as is falling in love or growing older. We all do it, whether we plan to or not.

This time of year that predicament is in full bloom. Millions boldly proclaim their “resolutions;” goals they will finally make real. The media are replete with experts, products, and services to assist in the quest. Diet centers, gyms, and self-improvement clinics of all stripes are busting at the seams. Yet, within weeks, you can shoot a proverbial cannonball through them without danger of hitting anyone.

Richard Bandler is one of two co-creators of the field of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). As I understand, NLP, in its most basic sense, states that our internal dialogue is a cause of our actions. For example, should my inner voice stubbornly insist, “You cannot lose weight,” I will develop a series of beliefs and resultant actions which reinforce that, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Conversely, if I “program myself” to say, “I am losing weight;” it will cause actions toward that end. In effect, you are what you think.

In an interview I recently viewed, Mr. Bandler explained why resolutions are usually ineffective. Being a student of change, and one who speaks to this topic, I was familiar with many:

  • We really don’t want to
  • Unrealistic goals
  • Lack of a plan

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Scott "Q" Marcus
707 834.4090
scottq@thistimeimeanit.com
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