In the end, all that is left of any of us are the memories in those we touched.
As they say, no one will every say, ” I wish I worked more,” or “My only regret is that I didn’t have a better car.”
5 Rules for a Happy Marriage
I am now the father of two married sons.
Until last week, I was the father of one married son and one engaged son. Last weekend, the elder Marcus and his fiancée exchanged vows at a lovely ceremony filled with joy, laughter and happy tears (most of which were mine). Toasts were made. Shouts of “mazel tov” rang from the ceiling. Well wishes were abundant. I’m sure they’re going to do really well.
However, that’s not the case for so many. As I learned many years ago,
“Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. Of those that remain, 90 percent end in boredom. If you want to be the five percent that stay happy, it’s going to take some work.”
To that end, I’ve looked back on over two decades of being in a happy, supportive marriage with my lovely, talented, creative (very patient) wife and I pass along my own take on how to stay married – and happy – over the long term.
Rule #1: Love your partner for who she is today, not whom you think you can make her into “down the road.”
Assume she is as good a partner as she’ll ever be RIGHT NOW. Don’t believe that living together will make her “come around” to your thinking. If she has what you consider annoying traits, don’t make the blunder of thinking how you’ll change them after you’re married. Accept her as she is; not who you’ll think she’ll be. If she’s not who you desire now, she sure as heck won’t be later.
Rule #2: Realize that there are three — not two — entities in your relationship.
Video: An Older Couple Gives Love Advice
An older couple discusses with a younger couple what has kept them together – and passes along some great advice.
Reinventing Myself: Realizing What Really Matters
This week marks exactly one year since our dog, Jack, abruptly left us.
Appearing fine with the rising of the sun, by nightfall he was no more. That’s a grim progression to experience any time, but to complicate this horribly unpleasant and unexpected bump in our highway of life, Jack’s passing occurred the exact morning I was slated to leave town for three months of contracted work. My wife and I, heartbroken, left the veterinarian and, upon arriving home, tearfully hugged each other as I slid into my rental car, and left her forlorn and isolated in our grievously hollow home.
Intertwined throughout the choking weight of sadness I carried was woven a heavy rope of guilt. But what are you going to do? It was three months worth of employment, planned well in advance. If your occupation takes you away — even when it’s more than inconvenient — you’re bound to go.
Life goes on — so to speak.
When my travel concluded, my wife requested,
“I know you love what you do – and I want you to be happy. But, I really need you not to travel so often. Would you please try and earn more of your income here?”
I agreed, not only because of her request, but also because I had been growing weary of the travel hassles. Her vocalizing my thoughts cemented the decision. So, for the last several months, I have been “reinventing myself at 60,” not something I intended – nor something I recommend, but as they say, “Life is what happens while we’re making other plans.” Mostly, short of scurrying hither and yon sussing out new modes of income, I’m doing okay. To that end, I do more coaching, both in person and on-line. I’m producing my own local seminars. I’ve snagged more hours assisting clients with marketing and consulting. And, I’m pleased as heck that even after 20 years together, I really do still enjoy spending so many hours with my lovely bride (and how cool is it that she says she enjoys having me around).
Today however brought forth an unexpected revelation: The most difficult component of my reinvention is that I no longer know who I am.
Keep Your Friends Close, Your Best Friends Closer—Here’s How
As a child, your best friends were always nearby because they your siblings, cousins, or perhaps your neighbors.
