This Time I Mean It

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You are here: Home / Archives for weddings

Kiss You Every Night

May 15, 2019 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

The weather was made to order; as if purchased from a postcard factory specializing in perfect-day clip art.

An unbroken clear blue sky stretched from horizon to horizon, white downy cotton clouds drifted lazily without hurry across the overhead vista, draping fleeting patches of cool shade upon the celebration and its attendees who came together to send off the newly married couple into their lives together.

As they stood face-to-face beneath the canopy, holding hands, the minister raised her head from the couple and looked toward the crowd;

“The couple has written their own vows which they’d like to share.”

He could hardly hear what she said; the sound of his heart pounding too loudly in his ears. When she finished, he, with shaking hands, pulled a thrice-folded sheet of paper from inside his charcoal-grey tuxedo pocket. Looking deep into the brown eyes of his beloved, desperately attempting to prevent his voice from cracking, he croaked out his pledge.

“Today, in front of friends, family, and God, I am marrying my soul mate. I know not what lies in our tomorrows. Yet, no matter that, I promise to you that I will love you deeply and without reservation in every manner in which I know. I shall love you for the remainder of my days and beyond. In all that time, I commit to honor you for the person you are and not try to change you, as there is no reason to do so. you are already of my spirit, interwoven through my essence, closer to me than my breath. I ask nothing of you in return except to be with me. And I promise as each day fades into yesterday, before I sleep, that I will gently kiss you good night and thank the Universe for your presence. When we agree, I shall kiss you with gladness. Should we differ, I shall do the same. In sickness, my kiss will heal. In good times, it shall celebrate. I will – through joy and sorrow, illness and health, poverty and riches – forever remain by your side, ending and beginning each day with you and with a kiss.”

A beam of sunlight reflected from the gold ring as he placed it on her finger.

Faintly, he heard applause and cheering, noting the soap bubbles as they floated to the heavens over the two of them as they walked back up the aisle, drifting in their thoughts as the clouds and bubbles above.

Together they knitted their story through the fabric of time.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, family, Happiness, Hope, Inspiration Tagged With: aging, emotions, feelings, happiness, inspiration, love, love and happiness, relationships, romance, thankfulness, weddings

5 Rules for a Happy Marriage

March 30, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus

older couple on rocker

I am now the father of two married sons.

Until last week, I was the father of one married son and one engaged son. Last weekend, the elder Marcus and his fiancée exchanged vows at a lovely ceremony filled with joy, laughter and happy tears (most of which were mine). Toasts were made. Shouts of “mazel tov” rang from the ceiling. Well wishes were abundant. I’m sure they’re going to do really well.

However, that’s not the case for so many. As I learned many years ago,

“Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. Of those that remain, 90 percent end in boredom. If you want to be the five percent that stay happy, it’s going to take some work.”

To that end, I’ve looked back on over two decades of being in a happy, supportive marriage with my lovely, talented, creative (very patient) wife and I pass along my own take on how to stay married – and happy – over the long term.

Rule #1: Love your partner for who she is today, not whom you think you can make her into “down the road.”

Assume she is as good a partner as she’ll ever be RIGHT NOW. Don’t believe that living together will make her “come around” to your thinking. If she has what you consider annoying traits, don’t make the blunder of thinking how you’ll change them after you’re married. Accept her as she is; not who you’ll think she’ll be. If she’s not who you desire now, she sure as heck won’t be later.

Rule #2: Realize that there are three — not two — entities in your relationship.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, Happiness, Newspaper Column, Relationships Tagged With: better relationships, close relationships, dysfunctional marriage, good relationship, long term relationship, marriage, relationships, weddings

How to Decide When You’re Ready for Marriage

September 1, 2011 by Featured Author

Exchanging rings with my fiancé was one of the happiest moments of my life.

I showed off my new bauble to family and friends, which often brought up their own engagement stories. Before long, marital advice started pouring in and not all of it put me at ease. The unsolicited commentary made me realize that I needed to evaluate if I was ready for such a big step.

Be prepared

Due to personnel changes in her company, my best friend got transferred to a satellite office across the country for a year-long assignment – two months after she got married. Though she and her husband made it work, my friend was quick to tell me how lonely she’d been and hinted that the same thing could happen to me. Wondering if my soon-to-be marriage could survive a similar strain, my fiancé and I looked at our work schedules over the next several months. Though it’s impossible to be prepared for everything, we were able to talk about upcoming events we knew about.  At least now we knew when we’d be apart for training or conferences. As a precaution, I started paying attention to the cost of plane tickets and we each set aside a little extra money each paycheck to specifically cover the cost of travel. In the event of a transfer, we wouldn’t have to panic that we couldn’t see each other due to lack of funds. [Read more…]

Filed Under: goals, Guest Author, Happiness, Traditions Tagged With: best friend, family and friends, guest writer, happiness, marital advice, marital strife, relationship, relationships, weddings

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