The Power of Intention

June 15, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s the intention that matters.

Being a news junkie, I’m glued to the cable networks. Wedged between the peccadilloes of badly behaving starlets and inappropriately tweeted photos, the anchor brings in two political panelists to discuss the upcoming election (Already? Really? Oy!) To feign “balance” he has a GOP strategist and his Democratic counterpart (as if there are only two sides to a story – but don’t get me started). I don’t remember the first question, and frankly, it doesn’t matter; but what I do recall was once the argument commenced, it became animated without delay. Lots of energy and of course, disagreement, exchanged between the duo.

It could have been either one; but in this case it was the GOP guy who started “powering” over anything stated contrary to his position. When the Dem countered, the Repub would shout him down, yelling ever louder. He didn’t call names; he wasn’t condescending; and – to be honest – he made logical sense (although I disagreed). But this is not about politics.

After the “discussion” ended, I had a mental image of him talking to his friends off-camera. They were probably all high-fiving, shouting, “Wow! You blew him out of the water,” or “He couldn’t hold a candle to you.” Congratulations would abound; backslapping would ensue.

That’s when it dawned on me; his intention – as far as I could discern – was NEVER to have a discussion, but rather to prove his point; and that’s what showed.

The number one law of change: Intentions direct actions.

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Monday Motivational Memo: How to Avoid Escalating a Disagreement

May 30, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Saying it louder doesn’t make it correct.

In the middle of a disagreement, we can get frustrated. When that happens, we might feel we’re not being heard so the natural reaction is to say it louder.

If you want to actually make your point, it might work better by slowing down and asking a few questions.

You will always resolve more problems and minimize hurt feelings by listening to someone instead of talking at them.

Note: Every Monday, a new motivational memo is posted. Subscribers to ThisTimeIMeanIt.com’s coaching service get this – and many more benefits – sent to them directly. If you’d like to know more, follow this link.

Breaking the Eating Cycle: Why Bad Habits Trigger Bad Habits

May 5, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s important to understand that bad habits trigger bad habits.

I call it “The Eating Cycle.”

In a nutshell, here’s how it works.

Something “happens.” We react to the “something” with a variety of feelings (listed under reaction to the event). Our way of dealing with those feelings is to eat. When we eat too much, we gain weight. Because we do not like gaining weight, we have a reaction to the weight gain, which is usually one of those listed. That triggers us to eat, which causes us to gain weight. You can see the cycle goes on and on.

How to break the cycle?

If we eat too much, we’ll gain weight; there is no way around that. So, we can only break the cycle by reacting differently to the weight gain. In other words, reminding ourselves “it could have been worse,” or “we don’t do it as often as we used to,” or “realizing on the grand scale of things, a minor weight gain is not the end of the world.” That will minimize the urge to eat.

The other option is that we learn how to handle our reactions differently. So, if we’re frustrated, we call a friend (instead of eat). If we’re depressed, we take a walk (instead of eat). If we’re angry, we do some activity to work it out (instead of eat). We don’t have to do it very long, just for a few minutes, long enough to break the cycle.

Remember, you cannot drop a habit, you replace it with a different habit. What will you do to fill the void left by changing your habit? (If you need help, I’m here.)

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2011-04-10

April 10, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Check out my latest articles: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Scott_Marcus #
Want to have civil disagreements and not a lot of hurt feelings when you’re in conflict? An article http://bit.ly/gRhgfi #
How to have a conflict without it getting personal. https://thistimeimeanit.com/news/articles/fair-fighting/ http://fb.me/TiwgtgNB #
This is way cool! Kinetic sculptures that “live” on their own. Two videos worth checking out, really inspirational http://bit.ly/fBInXo #

Goal Appreciation versus Goal Accomplishment

March 25, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Being in the Moment

I found an interesting post on lifetick.com and it reminded me that we need to focus as much (if not more) on why we do what we do as we focus on how we do what we do. A reminder that it’s about feelings more than actions.

An excerpt from the post I found:

In its simplest form, goal appreciation is basically being able to sit back and appreciate the fruits of one’s labour. In other words, being able to appreciate what it is you have just achieved. Toasting the success, savouring the moment, cherishing that sense of accomplishment in all its glory. Now I’m guessing some of you are already saying “Oh yes I’m familiar with this and it certainly is talked about, so what is the he on about?” Well, it goes a bit deeper. Because in this newly created definition the concept extends to a period well before a goal is actually achieved. It in fact goes way back to the goals very conception. Not only that but it then continues to evolve and grow throughout the entire journey…

And if one were to retain anything from this post then this would be the point: The essence of goal appreciation is “being in the moment”. What does this mean? It means doing what you love and loving what you do. It means doing it well or not doing it at all. It means taking that task that may be one of a thousand toward a goal you are achieving and doing it with passion and commitment because anything less will only take away from the final completion of that goal and of course the appreciation that is to follow that event. But there is more (there’s always more). We always think that everything in life is about the destination. I contend that it is in fact the journey that matters. Without the journey, there is no destination and if you haven’t focused yourself on each step along the way, then you haven’t really gained all that you could from the journey.

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