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You are here: Home / Archives for change

Embracing the Here and Meow – How a Cat on a Toilet Lid Can Cause Happiness

January 15, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Somebody said, “Dogs have masters, cats have staff.”

Being a staff member for two cats, I will testify to the veracity of the statement. Our 12-year-old cat, K.C. (um, short for “kitty cat”), has abruptly made a significant behavioral switch, leaving me in the position of having to adjust to this alteration – as I seem powerless in my attempts to convince her to revert to old behaviors. It appears that the bedroom where she has spent many years sleeping, purring – and shedding – is no longer acceptable to wile away the hours. Rather, she has commandeered our bathroom.

In addition to the fact that she has no need for such facilities, I find it puzzling, as tile and porcelain seem to be rather uncomfortable furnishings (especially compared with the warmth and comfort of a carpeted bedroom).

Yet, undeterred by my urgings to return to a softer habitat, she has taken over, napping in the tub or sleeping on the toilet lid. At first I was unnerved in the wee, dark, quiet hours of the night should I happen to sleepishly stagger into the bathroom and be greeted unexpectedly by a low, rumbling, noisy purr. Now, I have learned to simply lift her from the toilet seat, place her on the edge of the tub, take care of business, return her to the lid, pat her goodnight, and totter unsteadily back to bed.

To be honest, our cat has always had a thing for sleeping on toilet seats. Once, when our neighbors threw a party in their garden, K.C. was found napping inside one of their event toilets that had been hired especially for their party. Fortunately, everyone saw the funny side.

That is not all though. Shaving has become virtually impossible as she jumps onto the vanity and sticks her face in mine. We have developed a dance: I place her on the floor, shave as quickly as possible before she leaps back, replace her on floor, shave, floor, shave, repeat as necessary.

As with most change, I do eventually adjust.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Change, family, Habits, Happiness, Newspaper Column, Personal Tagged With: bathroom, cats, change, content, family, furry friends, kitty cat, purr, take some time to purr

Today’s Lucky Number

January 1, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s the start of a brand new year! It’s the perfect time to recommit yourself to moving forward. Of course, ANY day is the perfect day to do that; we just put some sort of arbitrary significance on January 1. Nonetheless, I’ll take what I can get. What is way cool is the date:

1/1/11

It’s rare that every number will be the same. (Personally, I’ve lived through 5/5/55 – but I didn’t remember it – 6/6/66, 7/7/77, 8/8/88, 9/9/99 and will hopefully experience 2/2/22 and 3/3/33 as well as 4/4/44.)

Alas, I digress.

So, what can we take away from four one’s?

First of all, in binary (after all, don’t we all first think in binary?), the number is 15. So, I decided that today’s lucky number must be 15. Anything with 15 in it today will be great! Of course, I could not think of many things that might have 15, so I took a clue from numerology. I admit I know nothing about numerology – except one keeps adding numbers together (or maybe they don’t). Either way, that’s what I did. I added 1+5 and of course the number is “6.”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, goals, resolutions Tagged With: brand new year, change, january 1, lucky number, lucky numbers, numerology, perfect day, philosophy

Breaking Down the Wall: Resolutions that Work

December 21, 2010 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

There was a cosmic event this week. For the first time in about 400 years, there was a full lunar eclipse on the Winter Solstice. If you were crazy enough (like me), you went outside around midnight and stared up at the moon, which was glowing with a faint reddish tint. (What was really a cosmic event was that it was clear enough on the Northcoast to actually see the moon!)

At precisely 12:01AM January 2, there will be another cosmic event; although this one happens annually. Should you step outside and listen, you will hear a giant clunking sound rumbling across this wide land as the consciousness of the population shifts from “how much can I indulge” to “how can I undo what I’ve done to myself for the last two months?”

With that in the forefront, you are about to be inundated with experts telling you how to stick to your resolutions. The television will become awash in advertisements for gym equipment. Late night infomercials will blare (falsely): “LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT MAKING ANY CHANGES.” The back page of this newspaper might even be hosting a full-page banner advertisement with “SECRETS THE WEIGHT LOSS INDUSTRY DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW.” At the risk of biting the hand that feeds me (albeit low fat and high fiber), do not buy into gimmicks.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Change, Newspaper Column, resolutions, Traditions Tagged With: attitude, change, consciousness, cosmic event, diet, lunar eclipse, new year's resolutions, northcoast, resolutions, resolutions that stick, scams, solstice, winter solstice

To Say “I’m Trying…” is Really to Say “I Won’t…”

December 19, 2010 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I am trying to lose a few pounds (again).

I’d put odds on the fact that I’m not the only person in our sleepy burg with such a stated goal. Others are trying things too: stop smoking, be more active, spend more time with their families. As a whole, we TRY many things. The more important question is, “Are we DOING them?”

I wish I could remember which wise sage pointed out “trying” is “saying ‘no’ with grace.”

A friend lost into your past surprises you by reappearing while you are squeezing cantaloupes at the grocery store. Pre-ordained ceremonial niceties commence, “How are your kids? What’s your husband doing these days? Are you still working at the same place?” It’s a pleasurable oasis of exchange with someone who used to be close. Yet, after the first few paragraphs, what remains to be said? An awkward silence slithers between you until finally you utter, “Let’s get together and catch up. It’s been too long.”

She replies warmly, “I’ll try and call you next week, OK?”

“Sounds great,” you say before exchanging air kisses, and continuing on your mission of securing the finest produce. You know she won’t call. You know you won’t either.

She could have said, “No, I’m too busy,” or “No, I’m not interested.” Rather than such bluntness, she replies with the socially approved, milquetoast, “I’ll try.”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Communicating, Excuses, Failure, Happiness, Health, Intentions, Power of Attitude, Procrastination, Self Talk Tagged With: attitude, change, communication

Radical Forgiveness for the Holidays

November 17, 2010 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

The common, accepted portrayal of a happy, joking, and supportive family joyously celebrating around a food-laden Thanksgiving table is definitely not a universal reality.

Some families despise the ritual (and aren’t too keen on one another either); yet they meet year-after-after out a sense of guilt or tradition, jabbing each other with passive-aggressive verbal stabs. Even within families that are indeed content overall, certain members of the clan might resent, or even dislike, one another. They hold grudges over past transgressions or historic bitterness stalks silently beneath a transparent veneer of tranquility.

I point out these realities not with intent of injecting an unpleasant aftertaste to Thanksgiving dinner, nor as some sort of post-apocalyptic view of the holidays. And to be honest, I also do not know percentages of “unhappy” versus “happy” families; maybe it’s minuscule; possibly it’s everyone but you and I. Yet it is true. Moreover, to focus on “how many” bypasses the greater issue: we cannot release these strains until we acknowledge they exist. Once there, we discharge them with a type of thanks.

“Thanks,” you might ask with understandable confusion; “Why would one give thanks for an irritating collection of boorish relations with whom I’m forced to endure boring football games and overcooked turkey?”

In the traditional sense of “giving thanks,” you wouldn’t. However, when one expands the concept of thankfulness, we realize that gratitude and forgiveness are actually the same act. All that differs is the direction in which they are pointed.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: family, Holidays, mental health, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude, Relationships Tagged With: change, christmas, emotions, forgiveness, holidays, radical forgiveness, thankfulness, thanksgiving, thoughts and feelings

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