Getting Past What Holds You Back with Baby Boomer Weight Loss Expert Scott 'Q' Marcus
We exist in three times:
Obviously, we can do nothing about our Past Self. Our Future Self is not yet here. The only Self we control is our Present Self.
To do that, we need to ask ourselves questions. [Read more…]
This is a fun video about what a fifth grader wants to know about her future self.
[Read more…]
Your attitude can make all the difference. The actual act of thinking positively or negatively requires the same amount of energy. Of course the end results are very different. A negative attitude will lead you into negative situations. Most of the time you’ll suppress your full potential and follow down a path of failure. Finding the positive in any situation can lift your spirits and set you on a better pathway to achieving what you want out of life.
It takes a lot of work to maintain a positive attitude. Proper planning and preparation will set you on the path to achieving the goal of living positively. Follow these tips to learn how to unleash your positive side so that you improve relationships with friends and family, and impact coworkers and others around you.
The very first step is to take a self assessment. Before you can proceed with any changes you should review your own disposition and current situation. Take a long hard look and be honest with yourself. This will not be easy, but it can be done. You can’t change anything until you identify the areas that need the most emphasis. Make a list and note down the negative aspects of your life. Think about your attitude, how you live and your relationships.
But keep working on getting it there.
Learn to enjoy the process as much as you can. There is no “there” there. Once we get “there,” we find out that another “there” exists over the next horizon.
No matter how much we grow and change and evolve; thinking we’ll finally “get it,” we find out that there is still more to learn.
Growing is life-long.
Periodically, I have to admit to the dark underside of that which is me; so if you want to keep your perfect image of me, I suggest you skip this post.
Still here? OK. It’s embarrassing but I must come clean. Please don’t judge me. I tell you this only in the interest of an honest relationship. Alright…deep breath…heavy sigh…
“I watch American Idol.”
There. I’ve said it! It’s out for all to see. Go ahead. Hate me. Say evil things about my 
heritage. I even bought David Cook’s CD and a few songs from Melinda Doolittle. I shall no longer remain in the closet. My intellectual friends might snub me, but I shall not be held back due to my beliefs in attractive, nice young people pursuing their dreams on my large-screen TV. I’ll say it again, “I watch American Idol!” Deal with it! (Boy, do I feel better now!)
Now that I’ve got that dirty little secret out in the open, I can go on to my topic, because Tuesday night’s show is what prompted this.
My wife (oops, I just outed her too) and I were watching the first competition episode. This year, they’ve narrowed it down to 36 and each week for three weeks, 12 perform. Of the dozen singers, there were a few who really stood out, as one would expect. One young man, Anoop Desai, struck both she and I as very “likeable,” which prompted me to wonder, “What is likeability?”
I mean, we all know it when we see it (well, except unlikeable people who probably see unlikeable as likeable. Hmmm… weird concept). But, what is it?
That’s what I did. In the interest of trying to put a quantitative spin to the concept of “what is likeability?” I searched that expression. That brought out some interesting posts. One of which was here, posted by Dianne Berenbaum of a customer service training group called Communico. She posts a link to a downloadable self-assessment called “An L-Factor Self Assessment” where you can rate yourself on how likeable you are. (You can find that form — devised by Tim Saunders — here.)
You like me! You really like me!
I took the test and came out above average on likeability, which was nice. (However, I was trying so hard to be honest that I rated myself a little severely. So, I’m probably more likeable than that. One might assume likeable people are humble — or at least have low self esteem, huh? Now, I’m feeling bad that I’m not more likeable. I want to correct the test. Oy, am I a mess!)
Anyway, I wanted more information and scanned the remainder of the first page of Google searches (no one — including me — goes past the first or second page) and nothing was jumping out. So, I then asked Google to “define likeability” and about 1/3 of the way down the first page was an entry called “L A L.” I didn’t know what that was, except for being a PDF so I downloaded it. (click here if you want it) It was the notes from a video or web presentation done by Tim Saunders.
In that presentation, I found some relevant stuff. Hooray!
Tim (whom I’ve seen speak before and was quite entertaining) says there are four factors when it comes to likeability. From the PDF, it says this:
1. To be likeable, you must first be friendly.
2. For someone to find you likeable, you must also be perceived as relevant.
3. Amplifying the perception of friendliness and relevance is the perception of being empathic—truly caring for the other.
4. At the highest level of the likability hierarchy is the perception of being real; likeable people are authentic.
That made sense to me (with the exception of why Anoop was “relevant” to me; maybe three out of four does it?) I thought of people — and businesses — I “like” and, for the most part, they fit those qualifications. If I don’t “like” a store or business, I wont’ go there, unless I have no other choice, and we know that relationship won’t last very long, will it?
Yet, on the other hand, if I “like” them, they become “mine;” I even become somewhat protective of them and want them to do well so I refer them and feel good when things go well for them. It’s not about logic, it’s all about the feelings.
In my own presentations, I use a model of behavior I call “LEPS” (logical • emotional • physical • spiritual) which accounts for all we do. I know that’s kind of a brash statement, but I believe it and — so far — the model holds up. However, the bottom line of it all is, “if they don’t like you, they won’t buy from you.” Period. Now, at least I know a little more about what that is.
Boils down to the number one rule of sales and marketing:
People don’t buy what they need, they buy what they want. (They back it with logic.)
Although likeability obviously didn’t help Anoop. He got voted off. (At least we still have Danny Gokey.)