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Getting Through the Holidays and Staying on Track

November 25, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

If a therapist’s couch were available, she would lie upon it and recap stories of childhood and chocolate. Instead, seeking solace, she bemoans the difficulty of dieting in December. “Parties. Candy. Cookies. Why not just give up and start again in January? Any advice?” I smell marshmallow chocolate Santas on her breath.

I validate the feelings. Although I have maintained my weight almost 20 years, the struggle remains. “I understand.”

As for the advice, she would not want me running her life. It can be a dark and scary place inside where I live. I understand her frustration. Yet, I have been asked. I push aside my cobwebs to impart whatever support I can provide.

I too used to “wait until the holidays were over.”

Then, my birthday… Then vacation… Back again to the holidays… Soon any day that ended in “Y” was a reason to delay losing weight. The perfect day was always over the next sunrise. I waited. I weighed. I weighted. Finally realizing future generations will still be overeating at holidays long after I’m a memory, I understood, “better figure out a way to work around the obstacles NOW.” As my grandmother said, “Tomorrow never comes.”

Reality is if my indulgences were limited just to holidays, I wouldn’t have to lose 70 pounds. Celebrations were the validation I used to reaffirm that “weight loss is too hard.” Failure sat at the head of every holiday meal table as the unwelcome guest, “Give up – start again later.”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, Holidays, Motivation, Overcoming Temptation, Traditions Tagged With: candy cookies, christmas, eggnog, frustration, handling temptation, hanukah, holiday meal, holidays, indulgences, losing weight, obstacles, perfect day, staying on track, thanksgiving, validation

Rewarding Yourself for Changing Habits

November 8, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

How do you reward yourself for the changes you’re making?

This is not a rhetorical question. We engage in our habits (whether negative or positive) because we get some benefit from them.

First rule of habit change

The first rule of habit change says that when the pain from the “side effect” of the habit outweighs the benefit of the habit itself (e.g. when the frustration of gaining weight is more painful than the pleasure of eating) then it’s time to make a change. However, one does not just “drop” a habit, s/he has to replace it with a “counter-productive habit.” In other words, find something else to replace the void left by getting rid of the problem habit. If you don’t do this, it makes it more painful.

For example, instead of simply saying, “I won’t eat when stressed anymore,” which makes one even more stressed out, triggering the habit you were trying to stop; it’s smarter to say, “When I’m stressed, I’ll take a walk.”

The problem with changing habits

Although this is a good first step, it’s important to remember that the habit you’re trying to change was providing a benefit, so even though the new habit is helpful, it’s still uncomfortable, making you less likely to continue. That’s why it’s important to reward your “inner child” when you make a change. If every time you resisted your problem habit, you were to reward yourself, the change would be:

  • More exciting
  • Less painful
  • Quicker

The problem is how do we change these habits?

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Asking for help, Change, goals, Habits, Overcoming Temptation, planning Tagged With: bad habits, change, changing habits, frustration, gaining weight, habit change, happiness, inner child, lifestyle change, new patterns, pleasure, resolutions that stick, reward basket, reward bucket, rewards, stress

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