That’ll Teach ‘em!

September 11, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

There are three kinds of people in the world; those that are good at math and those that aren’t.

There are two kinds of people in the world, those that eat when stressed, and those who don’t understand the situation well enough to be stressed. (If you’ve never had to lose weight, you won’t find that as humorous as those who do; sorry.)

I have a friend who’s beanpole skinny. “How do you stay thin?” I asked.

Replied this wisp of a man, “When I’m stressed, I lose my appetite.” Say what? Not eat when frazzled; on how many levels is that wrong?

So, I’m supposed to speak in another state in a few weeks. The agreement was executed early this year. Last month the phone rings.

“Hi Scott. We’re having budget issues, which requires the governor to now review every personal services contract to see if we’re going to go ahead with the agreement.”

“OK,” I reply, “This affects me how?”

“You have one of those types of agreements. But,” my contact quickly appends, “don’t worry, (famous last words) they’ve given a green light to the conference so we should have everything worked out in a couple days. After all, we can’t have a convention without speakers, can we?”

Would you be as surprised as I was if I tell you they can? Yep, true.

[Read more…]

The “cat’scade” effect

August 14, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s difficult to describe a room’s layout without showing an image — so if you’re really, really into following this column (which describes how the furniture in our living room is placed), you might want to draw a big “L” on a piece of paper. Then again, you probably aren’t that compulsive.

Anyway, a chocolate brown three-person couch comprises the vertical leg of the “L”. Perpendicular to it, forming the horizontal leg of the “L” is a recliner, with both facing the entertainment center, which would be by the top of the “L.”

Stick with me. It’ll all come together soon.

On either end of the couch is an end table, usually covered with the common odds and ends that collect over the day. You know, wallets, reading glasses, books, maybe a coffee cup or two.

The room has a picture window, which would be “below “the bottom of the “L” and behind the recliner. In front of said window, and behind the recliner, is a coffee table. That might seem a poor placement — unless cats reside in your house as they do at ours. Therefore, utilization of the table has been ceded to our two ginger felines who sit there, staring out at the street.

Okay, the stage is set. Here we go.

My wife and I sit on the couch to watch television.

I’m sure most couples — for that matter, most families — always sit in the same place. In our case, I without fail place myself at the “top of the L” while she sits on the other end of the couch. Motor, our younger cat, perches on the coffee table. Mini-Schnauzer Jack rests between the two of us on the couch.

Then there’s Tiger; our older cat, Alpha of the four-legged members of the family.

[Read more…]

Out of the Fog: Four Observations about Bad Habits

July 10, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Forgotten habits exist right under the skin.

We think we’ve got them licked, but they’re always immediately beneath the surface, ready to emerge whenever we get careless or ignore their symptoms. Or look at them this way: We never get rid of them; we put them into deep freeze and can defrost them whenever we get sloppy.

We would all like to think we have “our acts together,” certainly in how we present ourselves to others. As I said we would like to think that, but equally certain is that within each of us there is a nagging — oft times scolding — inner voice pointing out our shortcomings; loath to congratulate and pretty darn quick to disparage. No one likes being critiqued with unrelenting regularity, so what do we do?

Simple, like teenagers not wanting to be scolded by critical parents, we tune it out. Call it “denial;” call it “defense mechanism;” or call it “mental health,” after all, a rose by any other name…

However, despite what children protest, sometimes, we parents know of what we speak and the warnings we provide could save them a bucketful of hassle — if only they’d listen. Alas; they, as did we, find out too late.

Being a “wrinkled kid,” I ignored my internal parent and was unintentionally thawing out some past routines.

It began innocently enough with five little words (six, if you count the contraction as two): “One small bite won’t hurt.”

And it doesn’t.

Neither does the next; or the next, or even the fourth. But upon the frightful realization that I had waded in so deeply I could no longer see the shoreline, I needed to face reality.

[Read more…]

Five Simple Ways to Tell if You’re Addicted to Your Hobby

April 23, 2013 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

Having a hobby is encouraged and considered a positive trait by society.

In a healthy individual, hobbies may act as effective creative outlets and stress relievers. Sometimes, though, hobbies can take on a darker role in our lives, essentially becoming an addiction that needs to be overcome, often with the help of outside sources. Read on for five simple ways to tell if you’re addicted to your hobby. [Read more…]

The Most Important Question

April 10, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

You followed a passage faithfully through a lush forest, now standing at a fork in that path; one bearing leads slightly northwest, the other, tending to the southwest. Standing at this juncture, you place your hand over your eyes to block the glare of the setting sun, and strain while scanning the horizon. Ahead lays a long, grassy, seemingly endless prairie with hills on either horizon, obstructing your view from where each trails leads.

Yet, you have stood in this place before.

You know with certainty that in one direction lays a picturesque, emerald city, chock-full of light, music, and gladness. In that township is great joy and contentment. Should you opt however for road number two, what waits at its terminus is far less glorious, resembling the ruins of the firestorms of Dresden. There lies darkness and foreboding, sadness and frustration.

Although either direction assures you a safe arrival at your destination, the route to happiness is rocky, long, and hilly; it will require effort. Its alternative beckons with a flat, easy-to-navigate, and well-worn, shorter course.

Which path do you choose?

We’d all like to say that we’d choose the first. After all, look what waits at the end of either. It’s a no-brainer.

Yet, when we analyze our histories, the reality is that too often, we opt for the alternative; the smoother, shorter, easier pathway guaranteed to lead in the end to a sense of defeat and unhappiness.

Let’s examine some real-life situations, shall we?

Stick with your diet for one more hour and go to bed happy and proud, or give in and eat the bag of chips now, berating yourself all day tomorrow for tonight’s poor decision. Which do you choose?

Hold your tongue until you can figure out a more productive way to bring up your frustration to your wife, or let loose with a blast of heated epithets driving a hurtful spike in your most important relationship. Which do you do?

Put $200 away into your retirement fund, knowing it will be out of reach for the next decade, or buy a new TV even though you don’t need one. “A” or “B” please?

[Read more…]

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That’ll Teach ‘em!

There are three kinds of people in the world; those that are good at math and those that aren’t.

$nerd-doing-math$

How about this one?

Would you be as surprised as I was if I tell you they can? Yep, true.

The “cat’scade” effect

Stick with me. It’ll all come together soon.

My wife and I sit on the couch to watch television.

Out of the Fog: Four Observations about Bad Habits

Forgotten habits exist right under the skin.

Being a “wrinkled kid,” I ignored my internal parent and was unintentionally thawing out some past routines.

Five Simple Ways to Tell if You’re Addicted to Your Hobby

Having a hobby is encouraged and considered a positive trait by society.

The Most Important Question

Yet, you have stood in this place before.

Which path do you choose?

Let’s examine some real-life situations, shall we?

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