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You are here: Home / Archives for quality of life

Aging – The Ultimate Blessing

May 9, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I’ve heard tell that one indication of creative, intelligent people is that we get bored easily.

Whether true or not, I’ll gleefully use that as my justification for why I’ve traveled so many roads on my career journey. Whereby I haven’t necessarily been “a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king,” I’ve dabbled at many an occupation.

Because of that, it’s difficult for me to answer the question,

“What do you do for a living?” So, over the years, I’ve developed the reply, “I’m an ILEMAB consultant.”

“What’s that?” comes the usual reply.

“It’s an acronym: If it’s Legal, Ethical, and Makes A Buck, I’ll give it a shot.” It’s probably the most accurate description of how I earn my keep – and it has the added benefit of getting a chuckle.

There are advantages and disadvantages to our choices.

On the pro side of the ledger, my mishmash collection of vocational selections meant I rarely got bored; absorbed a boatload of skills, met an extensive diversity of people; traveled more than most — and had the autonomy to spend virtually whatever time I’ve wanted with friends and family. No regrets about those.

On the down side, many of my associates who chose more traditional pathways are now retiring. I know me; I could not have worked at one organization for decades; and wholeheartedly salute those who did – wishing for them wonder, peace and love on the next phase of their voyage. I am beyond delighted to see those I care about have the freedom I’ve had for so long. They so deserve it.

The distinction is that they’re receiving pensions – a security unknown to me.

Therein lies the rub. Nobody will ever throw a retirement party for yours truly; no assemblage of long-term co-workers with whom I’ve shared office space for the last 40 years will gather to bid me well as I move on; if I’m to own a gold watch emblazoned with “Congratulations Retiree!” I shall have to order it myself.

My “retirement” – whatever that is – will appear as a whimper, not a bang.

Don’t break out the world’s smallest violin; I’m not complaining, more accurately, I’m confused. I don’t even know what “retirement” looks like. I’m not the type to sit around on a rocking chair on the back porch, golf doesn’t interest me, and I don’t have grandkids on which I can dote (sigh…)

Yet, the time is nigh.

>> Hard cut to next scene << [Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Gratitude, Newspaper Column, planning, Power of Attitude Tagged With: aging, aging process, gratitude, happiness, quality of life, retirement tips, social security

Perfect Moments

May 2, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

It’s 11:43 PM, the red LED numerals broadcast into the dusky room from the clock on my nightstand.

Teeth brushed and clothed for sleep; I am ready to end another hectic day. While sitting on the edge of the mattress, assessing the activities of the last 18 hours, I am aware of my dog, Willie, snorting and grunting and snoring in his bed, dreaming of chasing cats across our back yard. Speaking of such, our oldest feline, Tiger, has assumed his nightly position, curled up at the foot of the mattress, bogarting far more space than is necessary. (I’m consistently amazed how an eleven-pound feline can manage to hijack half the bed, causing my wife and I to hang on to the edges so we don’t tumble off.) Both kittens, Oreo and Hobbs, sleep soundly on perches in the guest room.

A streetlight, noticeable from our bedroom window, doesn’t shine directly inside; it’s not glaring; more of a faint glow that lightly crawls — just barely — over our neighbor’s roof, allowing for a vague pale light which scarcely illuminates the contours of our room. It’s rather comforting, providing just enough illumination to allow navigation alongside the side of our bed before I slip under the blankets. Upon doing so, laying on my left side, my soulmate, my wife — who went to bed an hour before me — snuggles up behind me (careful not to disturb Tiger). She drapes her right arm over my waist, nestles her face into the back of my neck and falls back to sleep. Reaching my right hand behind me, I pat her on the leg and whisper – so as not to wake her – “I love you.”

A light breeze slides through the screen, caressing us both as we drift off into the waiting arms of Hypnos, the God of Sleep. Before I do so, I make a mental note:

THIS is a Perfect Moment.

I’m aware that it won’t last. I know that in the future, we’ll be thrust into situations unwanted and unpeaceful; yet, right now, this instant, in the present tense – EVERYTHING is as good as it can ever be.

My last conscious thought for the day: Grateful beyond words.

Several weeks ago, I wrote a piece about “being where your feet are;” staying in the present, realizing that the vast majority of time, I couldn’t really ask for more. In the day-to-day hustle-bustle, clang-bang, slammed full of appointments and concerns, I don’t think I’m the only person who forgets how fortunate I really am. My health is fundamentally fine. I have the love of a family and the friendship of countless others. Where so many are shelter or food insecure, I afford my mortgage and keep my refrigerator well stocked.

Could it all change tomorrow? Sure. But, if worry were a cloak of protection, nothing would ever harm us.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Gratitude, Happiness, Inspiration, Newspaper Column, Power of Attitude Tagged With: attitude, emotions, feelings, happiness, health, inspiration, perfect day, perfect moments, quality of life

Personal Confession

March 28, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Since I started writing these columns oh so long ago, I’ve had several objectives.

First, I wanted them to be of value to you; I didn’t want to vomit a bunch of words on a page assuming that merely because it’s in print, it’s worth your time. That’s delusional and ego-centric; I wish to be neither.

Next, I wanted them to inspire when needed and provide a laugh when possible.

Finally, and as important; they needed to be honest. In other words, I would be transparent, doing my best to be who I am really am so that the person you might meet on the street is the same guy you read in print. The way I look at, if shame was transformational, we’d all be soaring across the heavens. Take a look around, it doesn’t work.

Putting all that on the table, I was reticent about this piece because it’s something with which I’ve wrestled for too long, keeping it in a dark, backroom closet. Will you think less of me if I expose this to the sun? Will you wag your finger, shake your head judgmentally, tsk loudly, and say, “I’m so ashamed of you”? Odd, isn’t it, how that perceived — not necessarily actual — reactions weigh so heavily?

Finally, I decided, “Screw it. If that’s the way you’re going to be, there’s nothing I can do about it. Stick to my truth. After all, as the song says, ‘if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.’”

So, here goes.

I haven’t had anything with alcohol in it for a month.

There, I’ve said it. It’s in the world; no taking it back now. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, family, Group Support, Happiness, Health, Inspiration, Motivation, Newspaper Column, Relationships, Weight Loss, willpower Tagged With: alcohol, alcoholics, change, changing habits, habit change, happiness, lifestyle change, quality of life, self acceptance

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

January 31, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

As I remember the broad strokes, college students – the guinea pigs of most psychology experiments – were divided into two sections.

Both groups were given monologues that they were to earnestly perform for an audience. One group was well compensated for their involvement; the other was not.

The content of the scripts was what sensible, civilized, average people would find distasteful, even abhorrent. As illustration, the Jewish people should have been exterminated in World War II, or slavery was actually positive for African Americans and should be reinstated.

Using a psychological evaluation prior to their performances, each actor was rated on a one-to-five scale as to how much their beliefs were in alignment what they were about to perform. Upon completion, they were again assessed as to their level of agreement. The purpose of these measurements was to understand if the students’ beliefs moved in the direction of what was espoused in their scripts after they performed them.

The results were striking.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Habits, Newspaper Column, Psychology, Self Talk Tagged With: bad habits, changing habits, dissonance theory, habit change, happiness, health, lifestyle change, quality of life

Living in Constant Uncertainty

November 8, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

My mother was an avid devotee of Deepak Chopra.

She read his books without end, made sure to record him whenever he was on TV, attended his lectures, and listened to his recordings when she took her morning walk.

You can imagine my surprise when she called me one New Year’s Day and blasted open the phone conversation with the bomb shell, “Don’t ever buy me anything else from Deepak Chopra!”

“Uh, hi Mom,” I stammered, “Happy New Year to you too. What happened? Did he kill or molest someone?”

“Oh goodness no! He’d never do anything like that. He’s a very nice man.”

One might understand my confusion trying to square that circle. “Okay, so why is he now persona non-grata?”

“Did you read what he said in the L.A. Times?”

“No mom. I live in Eureka.”

“Oh, yes, that’s right. Anyway, there’s a piece in the lifestyle section where the reporter asked several celebrities what they wish for their children in the coming year. I can’t believe what he said! I’m just so upset.”

She stopped. I could feel her fuming. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Beliefs, family, Happiness, Hope, Newspaper Column Tagged With: attitude, family, happiness, humor, options, possibilites, quality of life, relationships

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