Just a little humor about how we communicate. It’s about two minutes long but well worth it.
That’ll Teach ‘em!
There are three kinds of people in the world; those that are good at math and those that aren’t.
OK, old joke, but still funny.
How about this one?
There are two kinds of people in the world, those that eat when stressed, and those who don’t understand the situation well enough to be stressed. (If you’ve never had to lose weight, you won’t find that as humorous as those who do; sorry.)
I have a friend who’s beanpole skinny. “How do you stay thin?” I asked.
Replied this wisp of a man, “When I’m stressed, I lose my appetite.” Say what? Not eat when frazzled; on how many levels is that wrong?
So, I’m supposed to speak in another state in a few weeks. The agreement was executed early this year. Last month the phone rings.
“Hi Scott. We’re having budget issues, which requires the governor to now review every personal services contract to see if we’re going to go ahead with the agreement.”
“OK,” I reply, “This affects me how?”
“You have one of those types of agreements. But,” my contact quickly appends, “don’t worry, (famous last words) they’ve given a green light to the conference so we should have everything worked out in a couple days. After all, we can’t have a convention without speakers, can we?”
Would you be as surprised as I was if I tell you they can? Yep, true.
Making the Right Connections
The internet is as essential a component in our lives as are the power lines that bring electricity to our houses and the roads that deliver products to our doors. Before branding that statement as hyperbole, let’s look at precedent. A century ago, electricity was a luxury. Now, can we image living without it? Indoor plumbing did not become standard until four score years ago. Anyone want an outhouse in his backyard? There are people — not very old people either — who are reading this who remember when getting a phone was a big thing.
Technologies evolve. Like it or not, we become dependent.
I reside on the web; communicating with vendors, providing services to clients, even looking up restaurants for our anniversary. (Be warned however, I do NOT play Farmville; your invitation shall be rebuffed.) The triple-W is about as important to my livelihood as PG&E is to delivering the juice that runs my computer. I could survive without it, sure, but it would — by no small amount — upend the quality of my life.
So I should have foreseen the turn of events that would transpire when I decided to “upgrade” my phone service. But, what can I say? I’m an optimist. Dreams die hard…
The crew that came out was friendly and efficient. Yet, within 24 hours, my internet service devolved into hit-and-miss connections; so much so that I could no longer hold phone conversations nor work on the web.
Not having only one contact in the loop, I call the phone provider; explaining the issue (over a series of clicks and clacks). They flip switches and read dials, (predictably) arriving at the conclusion the hitch is due to my cable company, not them.
“No so fast!” says cable technical support; informing me everything checks out on their end. “Replace your router,” is his solution. The equipment manufacturer explains that their apparatus is A-OK, redirecting me to service provider number one, somehow providing a twisted sense of Zen to this now completed loop.
Yet I remain in the lurch, cyber-lonely, career faltering; web-less.
Video: Dumb Things We Do
Actually, this is a video called “Dumb Ways to Die” and, to be honest, I’m not sure how this is inspirational – but it’s funny in a public service kind of way. So, what the heck, I wanted to share it.
In reality, it’s an ad from Australia about how to be safe around trains. However, I assure you you’ll be signing it before the day is done.
The “cat’scade” effect
It’s difficult to describe a room’s layout without showing an image — so if you’re really, really into following this column (which describes how the furniture in our living room is placed), you might want to draw a big “L” on a piece of paper. Then again, you probably aren’t that compulsive.
Anyway, a chocolate brown three-person couch comprises the vertical leg of the “L”. Perpendicular to it, forming the horizontal leg of the “L” is a recliner, with both facing the entertainment center, which would be by the top of the “L.”
Stick with me. It’ll all come together soon.
On either end of the couch is an end table, usually covered with the common odds and ends that collect over the day. You know, wallets, reading glasses, books, maybe a coffee cup or two.
The room has a picture window, which would be “below “the bottom of the “L” and behind the recliner. In front of said window, and behind the recliner, is a coffee table. That might seem a poor placement — unless cats reside in your house as they do at ours. Therefore, utilization of the table has been ceded to our two ginger felines who sit there, staring out at the street.
Okay, the stage is set. Here we go.
My wife and I sit on the couch to watch television.
I’m sure most couples — for that matter, most families — always sit in the same place. In our case, I without fail place myself at the “top of the L” while she sits on the other end of the couch. Motor, our younger cat, perches on the coffee table. Mini-Schnauzer Jack rests between the two of us on the couch.
Then there’s Tiger; our older cat, Alpha of the four-legged members of the family.