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You are here: Home / Archives for Health

Personal Confession

March 28, 2018 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Since I started writing these columns oh so long ago, I’ve had several objectives.

First, I wanted them to be of value to you; I didn’t want to vomit a bunch of words on a page assuming that merely because it’s in print, it’s worth your time. That’s delusional and ego-centric; I wish to be neither.

Next, I wanted them to inspire when needed and provide a laugh when possible.

Finally, and as important; they needed to be honest. In other words, I would be transparent, doing my best to be who I am really am so that the person you might meet on the street is the same guy you read in print. The way I look at, if shame was transformational, we’d all be soaring across the heavens. Take a look around, it doesn’t work.

Putting all that on the table, I was reticent about this piece because it’s something with which I’ve wrestled for too long, keeping it in a dark, backroom closet. Will you think less of me if I expose this to the sun? Will you wag your finger, shake your head judgmentally, tsk loudly, and say, “I’m so ashamed of you”? Odd, isn’t it, how that perceived — not necessarily actual — reactions weigh so heavily?

Finally, I decided, “Screw it. If that’s the way you’re going to be, there’s nothing I can do about it. Stick to my truth. After all, as the song says, ‘if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.’”

So, here goes.

I haven’t had anything with alcohol in it for a month.

There, I’ve said it. It’s in the world; no taking it back now. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, family, Group Support, Happiness, Health, Inspiration, Motivation, Newspaper Column, Relationships, Weight Loss, willpower Tagged With: alcohol, alcoholics, change, changing habits, habit change, happiness, lifestyle change, quality of life, self acceptance

I forgot what I was going to write about…

September 13, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Memory is odd.

In a way, it’s kind of funny when you hear about people “losing” their glasses, only to realize that they’ve been wearing them all along. “Chuckle, chuckle, yeah, I’ve been there.”

It’s not as funny when you get to a certain age and it starts happening to you.

Alas, I am of such age. Lately, I’m finding myself more scatterbrained. Words don’t come to mind as quickly; I feel like my hard drive is buffering all the time. That’s annoying for anyone, but when you’re standing in front of a room full of people doing a presentation and you go blank, it’s embarrassing.

I find myself using the “find my phone” website more often than I post on social media.

Tablet in hand one moment, and the next second, it’s vanished like a snowflake in the Sahara. Not a trace, nowhere to be found. Rummaging through files, checking my backpack, inspecting bedding; I find squat; zilch, a big zero. Swearing like a drunken sailor, I pull up my computer and impatiently wait for the compass icon to stop swinging, eventually referencing that the tablet is here in my house.

“Where? I’ve looked all over,” I mutter impatiently, as if the computer will patiently reply. Clicking the button, “play sound,” a sonar-like beep reverberates through my office. My treasure was laying on my desk, next to my hard drive, clear as day. As they say, “If it was a snake, it would have bit me.”

It’s not just my iPad; if I don’t put my keys or wallet in the exact same location each time I come home, I can count on the fact that I’ll be searching for hours tomorrow. Since I wear my glasses all the time, I don’t have to worry about losing them – but my wife handles that frustration from her end.

“Have you seen my glasses?” She’ll ask.

“No,” I reply, “But I bet they’re next to my iPad. Find that and you’ll find both.”

Worried about what this portended, I checked out an AARP article: “Warning Signs of Dementia.”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Health, humor, Newspaper Column Tagged With: aging, forgetfullness, forgetfulness, frustration, health, humor, memory

Dealing with Loss

July 26, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

A relative of mine died recently.

Aside from the sadness and sense of loss, death puts a mirror of our own mortality to our faces. As we age, learning to deal with the grim reaper becomes a bigger and bigger issue.

I have to admit, I don’t get – nor like – this “death thing,” so I seek denial that it could be me next.

I’m convinced he began that morning as he did so many others, yet that day ended so horribly different. Surely, there must have been a warning; a sign, giving him room to avoid the outcome. I look for understanding, a meaning, solace. I’m embarrassed to say I even blame him for not avoiding it; maybe he set himself up for it. Understand, I am trying to do something – anything – to avoid the reality that I, Scott Marcus, 62 years on planet Earth, writer, speaker, friend of many, father of two, lover of one, just might not have all the tomorrows I need either. We convince ourselves that there is always another sunrise over the horizon. Yet, as my grandmother said so many times, “Tomorrow never comes.”

When fear goes unchallenged, it becomes cement, weighing heavily on our souls; we hunch down our shoulders and grovel in whisper-like tones to the Universe. As Oliver Twist said, holding his now empty bowl of gruel, with a voice tiny and meek, “Please sir, more…” We hold out frail trembling hands and beg for more time, unsure we are deserving but wanting and needing it so desperately. I’ll be good. Please don’t take it away from me.

During however many revolutions around the Sun we have, we are essentially faced with one main choice: embrace love or cower in fright.

After all, we each begin and end this journey in the same fashion; traveling similar paths; ups, downs, lots of middles. How we view ourselves and that passage is what really makes the difference.

Yet it’s not easy to shut off the panic, and as much as I don’t like it, I guess it is okay to be frightened.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: family, Gratitude, Happiness, Health, Newspaper Column, Personal Tagged With: aging, death of a loved one, family, gratitude, loss, relationships, self acceptance, thankfulness

No Regrets at End of Life

May 3, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

If I ever lost my phone, I wouldn’t know what to do.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not one of those people who is glued to the glowing screen, constantly texting or hanging out on social media, unable to be still with my thoughts for a few moments. I quite literally would not know what to do. I enter my appointments, to-dos, and tasks in my phone’s apps. I even have a category for “dates to remember.”

It’s not just birthdays and anniversaries, but other dates that matter. For example, October 17, 1994 was the first time my (not yet) wife said she loved me. Every year, it shows up on my calendar as a reminder of what’s important to me. October 25, 2011 was the date I was almost killed in a car versus bike accident. I remind myself of that every 365 days to remind myself to be thankful. My youngest son moved to Portland October 8, 2009. I don’t know why I keep track of that, but it seems like an important date.

Not everything is in October. For example, May 6, 1984 is when my grandmother, Zlote Zelby passed on, approximately three months after my oldest son was born. She always wanted to be a great-grandmother and for those 117 final days in her life, she was; he being the only great-grandchild she ever met.

Zlote spent most of that time in the hospital, suffering from congestive heart failure; which eventually claimed her. I have one photograph of her in the hospital sitting in a wheelchair with an oxygen tube connected to her nose. Surrounding her stood my mother and my aunt, with me sitting next to her, holding my son on my lap. Four generations together for one brief moment, captured on film. Only my son and I are still around.

My grandmother was an incredibly strong woman, as a Russian immigrant, non-English speaking, widowed mother of three in the 1930s, she ran her own business. Yet as age took its toll, her later years were filled with regrets. The anniversary of her passing – as well as my own thoughts about aging – caused me to look at my own life, “Do I have any regrets?”

Sure, we all have regrets.

But, at least for me, I’m fortunate; thy are few. God-willing, I’ve still got time to deal with them.

On the website, “Collective Evolution,” I found an article, compiled by a palliative nurse who listed the Top Five Regrets at the end of life. Consider it a cautionary tale. The list follows, each starting with “I wish…” [Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, family, Happiness, Health, Newspaper Column, planning Tagged With: aging, death, family, friends and family, regrets, sad ending

Letting Go of Old Baggage

October 26, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

When I was 12 years old, I bought my very first major electronic purchase: an AM clock radio.

At that time, it was the high-tech equivalent of today’s driver-less cars. (Okay, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration…) Until then, my alarm clock woke me to a concert of cacophony: a clanging, banging, rattling, ear-splitting blare. Now, due to this marvel of 1966 technology, I began my morning to “Boss Radio’s” Robert W. Morgan playing hits like Monday Monday and Ain’t Too Proud to Beg. If that wasn’t enough, another new-fangled benefit of this novel invention was the introduction of the snooze alarm. Life couldn’t get better than this.

How things change.

Arising late or missing an appointment these days is pret-near impossible due to the combination of alarms and text alerts omnipresent on anything that plugs into a wall or possesses a battery. If you overlooked your appointment, you just didn’t care.

To that end, while traveling, I utilize alerts with an addictive fervor, establishing reminders on my computer, which sync with my mobile device and watch. Not only I am aware of the status of my airplane, but also should the previous leg of the flight be canceled or delayed, I know that too. What can I say? I like to be prepared.

Last weekend I flew from Hartford to San Francisco, with a transfer in Denver scheduled to depart at 11:31.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, Exercise, Gratitude, Health, Newspaper Column Tagged With: aging, air travel, diet, exercise, habit change, health, healthy heart, heart attacks, lifestyle change, quality of life, thankfulness, travel, weight loss

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