Nobody makes anybody feel anything.
We learn to react to events by feeling certain ways. We can learn to react differently if we want to.
What Will Your Future Self Say to You?
Do something today that your future self will thank you for.
As children, we couldn’t wait for our birthdays. They seemed so far in the future that we thought they’d never get here. Yet they did.
Be Honest With Yourself and Others
“To thine own self, be true.”
It is always wiser to under-promise and over-deliver…than the opposite.
Whether you’re making a commitment to a client, an employee, a family member, or even to yourself, make sure you’re extremely honest and that the promise you make is the “bottom floor” of what you will accomplish.
So, instead of committing to lose 50 pounds or promising to run a mile every day, make the promise that you’ll lose 5 pounds or walk a block every morning.
You can always exceed the promise and no one (including you) will object.
However, if you fall short, everyone affected is disappointed.
Ask first. Talk Later.
We are “hard-wired” to answer questions, correct?
(See, in your head, you HAD to answer that – even if you disagreed!)
If we really want to have closer relationships and we want to get more from those with whom we associate, we have to:
- Listen
- Ask questions
- Refrain from judgment
- Look for consensus
Telling someone what you want without listening to what he or she wants might get you what you need. But, listening first is a more reliable strategy and will probably get both of you what you want.
And isn’t that a better choice?
(See, you answered again!) [Read more…]
Dismissed for a Romantic Cause
It’s a safe assumption that most people:
- Do not like getting root canal procedures
- Hate doing their taxes
- Will do almost anything to avoid jury duty
I might be odd. I mean, I abhor the dental and the tax things, but I actually appreciate being on a jury. I feel like I’m helping make our government flow. For me, the obstacle is that, being self-employed, every minute I’m helping the justice system do its work; I’m not getting paid for mine.
Since, during the selection process, the judge announces this trial will only last one day, I raise no objection and am seated as “Juror Number Three.” Prior to finalizing the jury, an attorney approaches his Honor, engaging him in a “sidebar.” He then turns and addresses the dozen of us.
“I’ve been informed that this trial will last a little longer than expected; probably two or three days, taking us into early next week. Aside from financial hardship, does that present a problem for any of you chosen to serve?”
I raise my hand.
The judge looks at his papers, correlates “Juror Number Three” with my name and address me, “Is it Mister Marcus?”
“It is.”
“I see you’re self employed. This isn’t about financial hardship, is it?”
“It is not.”
“What seems to be the issue?”
“I’m leaving town early next week. The trial would interfere with that.”
Glancing at his forms, “You’re a speaker? Are you speaking to a group somewhere?”
“No sir.”
“Oh, is this a business or personal trip?”
“Personal, your honor.”
After again surveying the document with my individual basics, he returns his gaze to me, “Is this something you have to do for your kids?”
“No sir, just my wife and I. We’re renting a cabin up the coast for a few days.”
“Hmmm… I see,” he says, “Is it your anniversary? What’s the occasion?”