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You are here: Home / Archives for Happiness

Thank You Barbara

January 8, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus

If food is what sustains the body, gratitude nourishes the soul.

Today I am well fed.

Having lived in the same community for over 30 years, I believe I carry a relatively high, (hopefully) positive reputation. Within minutes of my home, I can stroll among the redwoods or along a rocky — albeit cold — beach. My house is not a palace, yet it’s not a cardboard box either and my “commute” to work, when not on a plane, consists of four stairs. When subjected to the hassle of airline travel, I often visit beautiful, wondrous locales and speak to and with fascinating people from all walks of life. I am nurtured by strong friendships and even though — like any long-term relationship — we can drive each other crazy, I am still deeply, teenage-style, crazy nuts in love with my wife. My hair is thinner, the brown has been replaced with gray; I grunt a bit more when I move than I did in younger days, but, even if I am forever watching my weight, my health is generally holding up, thank you very much.

I am beyond fortunate — although I forget far too often.

my coloumn on refrigeratorLast night, I was reminded when a reader of this column reached out to me on a social network site and sent me a photograph.

After the passing of his aunt, her family assembled at the house. On her refrigerator, among the collection of magnets and drawings, was an article I had written many years ago called “Five Words to Change Your Life.”

I do not recall if I ever met his aunt, but looking at the refrigerator magnets framed in the small snapshot, I know she had grandchildren and perhaps liked birds. I assume she traveled to Alaska, and she had a fondness for the iconic Dr. Seuss character, the Cat in the Hat (or more likely her grandchildren did). She was most likely a tidy woman. (I make that deduction because my article was cut with clear straight lines and hung level and centered on the refrigerator door.)

Although not directly posted on her refrigerator, like each of us, I know she had dreams, possibilities, and plans; although I do not know what they were. I hope she realized them before she passed.

I also know with certainty that she was loved and that she loved in return.

She could have been my aunt, or yours. Maybe she was.

Although my messages are posted in print near and far, and I am given the privilege of the speaker’s platform, each of us, whether as pebbles or boulders, is tossed into the same lake, spreading ripples in all directions. We touch and we are touched. Should we face final judgment, I am convinced the ultimate criteria will be how we affected those with whom we connected during our lives. For some day in the future, each of us will exist only in the memories and words of the ones we left behind. It is they, not we, who determine our legacy. Paradoxically, we create it, and do so in the present; right now, today, this instant.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, family, Gratitude, Happiness, Newspaper Column, Relationships

There are Always More Options

January 6, 2014 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

3-arrows-1-way

“The highest form of intelligence is the ability to see options.”

Just like you, I’m always looking to improve myself.

So, I attended a three day conference to help me enhance my career. One of the speakers, Jeff Walker, said the comment I referenced above.

It really stood out.

I don’t know whether it’s because it’s a new year and we find ourselves faced with options or whether it’s because it’s just so honestly, simply, true. It really doesn’t matter.

What does matter is that we are not victims of “the way it has always been.”

We have the option to change at any time. And if what we pick doesn’t work, we have the option to change again (or the option to redefine what we’re looking at).

Alternatives are endless, constant, and available.

Choose your option. Repeat until happy.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Change, Happiness, Motivational Monday, willpower Tagged With: alternatives, choice, options

Worst Day Ever!

December 18, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Saturday sucked.

Our airport is to travelers what tar pits were to wooly mammoths.

Everything is Jim Dandy until you unsuspectingly enter it and find yourself condemned to spend eternity held in place in its “your-flight-has-been-canceled; please-see-the-attendant” inextricable goo.

I was to conduct a communication workshop for a Seattle agency on Monday, having reserved a flight for the previous Saturday, allowing me to attend a concert when I arrived. Sunday’s itinerary would consist of roaming the Emerald City and I would return home Monday evening, after leading the seminar.

It was going to be a good trip.

The operative word is “was.”

Two hours before take-off, a text message informed me that my flight was canceled due to our oft-times, unrelenting fog. Rebooked for a later flight, I was ominously primed,

“There’s no guarantee it will go either. Hope for the best.”

I am not a travel agent but I bet they agree that’s never a wise travel strategy.

After doing my part — hoping — and impatiently waiting through three more hours of delays, only to be canceled again, re-booked again was I for an evening flight, with arrival in the wee hours of the next morning. I’d obviously miss the concert but could still salvage my Sunday; this of course contingent on this latest itinerary actually falling into place, unlikely since the obstinate grey murkiness that blanketed the runway seemed fused to the blacktop.

Angry, frustrated, and now worried that I would lose my speaking fee and damage my reputation, I needed options.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Happiness, Inspiration, Newspaper Column, Self Talk Tagged With: air travel, canceled fights, frustration, speaking, stress, travel

VIDEO: Making People Smile (Project KIND)

November 21, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

 Kindness doesn’t have to cost a thing, but is valuable to everyone involved.

From Project KIND, a video about talking to strangers, keeping kindness in your heart, and paying it forward.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Happiness, Inspiration, Video Tagged With: act of kindness, compliment, compliments, pay it forward, random act of kindness, video

Yes Dear, Whatever You Say Dear…

November 13, 2013 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

I’ll admit it; I’m wimpy when it comes to confrontations.

man-coweringI don’t like people getting mad at me. So oft times, I go out of my way to pre-appease them; assuming they won’t like something and sidestepping the issue all together. Yes, I realize I’m co-dependent and yes, I’m trying to stop; I even tried to form a support group for co-dependents but no one would give me per-mission. (Insert rim shot here…)

What this means is that I become concerned that my politics or opinions might show through my writing, resulting in me being harangued by internet “trolls” who have nothing better to do than spend every waking hour scouring the interwebs waiting to pounce on anything I write. (Self-importance much?)

In fairness, my concern is not without basis.

I’ve been flamed because of my views on guns, political candidates, and even negative communication styles (obviously missing the irony). The column that garnered the most hate mail was a humorous piece where I postulated the theory that, based on a trip to New Orleans, the only foods allowed in the south must be deep-fried. (I was even accused of trying to re-ignite the civil war; really.)

Anyhoo… my concern with attempting to avert these curmudgeons can — at times — cause me to pick and choose my topics and words with extreme care. After all, someone a thousand miles away, reading my piece two weeks after I wrote it might feel awkward and shoot negative vibes toward me. Goodness knows! I wouldn’t want that to happen.

Like I said: co-dependent.

This piece however might cause a ruffle or two much closer to home, including in my own household so I now begin to tread in dangerous places.

New and recent findings, published in the journal Emotion, show that long-term marital satisfaction depends on wives — more so than husbands — regulating their emotions during arguments. Researchers from two major universities found that the happi-est marriages, in both the short and long-term, were those where the wives were able to regain their self-control quickly after disputes erupted.

The lead author of the study (whom I point out is a woman) said, [Read more…]

Filed Under: Communicating, Conflict Management, family, Happiness, humor, Newspaper Column, Relationships Tagged With: conflict, marriage, relationship, relationships

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