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You are here: Home / Archives for family

Father’s Lessons

June 14, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

At day’s end, Randy would throw his extra change in a grey, ceramic tray on top of his dresser.

He considered the change “found money” and periodically cashed it in as a “fun fund.”

“That’s odd,” he thought, “all the quarters are missing.”

Sadly, he realizes that Sean, his 11-year-old son, must have taken them; obviously no one broke in and stole $3.75 in change. Now comes the bigger question: What to do?

Being a single dad, the decision was his alone. He thought back to his own childhood, about what his father would have done. “No, spanking is out of the question,” he decides. His strongest memories of his own father are fear; “That is not what I want Sean to remember about me.”

He calls out, “Sean, I need to talk to you.”

“What’s up Dad?” Sean says as he enters the room. 

“I’ve got a problem,” he replies. “I had a bunch of quarters in this tray,” tapping on the edge of ceramic dish, “They’re not there anymore.  I don’t know what happened.”

He pauses; giving his son a chance to admit to his error. Will he make the correct choice? The silence is loud; he knows it’s got to be deafening for his boy. After a moment, Sean meekly volunteers, while staring at the floor, “I took one.” The lump in his throat is audible.

“One?”

Pause “Maybe two.” Longer pause. “It could have been three.”

Randy recalls his own youth; the fear in admitting wrong-doing; his dad explosively red with fury, screaming at Randy inches from his face.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: family, Holidays, Intentions, Newspaper Column, Relationships Tagged With: children, fatherhood, fathers and sons, fathers day, parenting, parenting skills

Honoring Fathers

June 12, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

In honor of Father’s Day this coming Sunday…

My first book (and my most popular book in terms of sales) is called “The Shade of a Tree is the Very Best there is.” I wrote it when my oldest son (now 33) was moving out on his own. I wanted him to have all the wisdom I could possibly impart on him. The book consists of 135 motivational quotes for all occasions. I’ve been flattered that some groups use it as a weekly lesson guide to start a conversation.

(Truth be told, I don’t know how good the advice was because he moved back in a few years later. ?)

Anyway…

Two pieces of advice from my book: [Read more…]

Filed Under: family, Holidays, Motivational Monday, Personal, Relationships, Traditions Tagged With: dad, family, fatherhood, fathers and sons, fathers day, memories

No Regrets at End of Life

May 3, 2017 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

If I ever lost my phone, I wouldn’t know what to do.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not one of those people who is glued to the glowing screen, constantly texting or hanging out on social media, unable to be still with my thoughts for a few moments. I quite literally would not know what to do. I enter my appointments, to-dos, and tasks in my phone’s apps. I even have a category for “dates to remember.”

It’s not just birthdays and anniversaries, but other dates that matter. For example, October 17, 1994 was the first time my (not yet) wife said she loved me. Every year, it shows up on my calendar as a reminder of what’s important to me. October 25, 2011 was the date I was almost killed in a car versus bike accident. I remind myself of that every 365 days to remind myself to be thankful. My youngest son moved to Portland October 8, 2009. I don’t know why I keep track of that, but it seems like an important date.

Not everything is in October. For example, May 6, 1984 is when my grandmother, Zlote Zelby passed on, approximately three months after my oldest son was born. She always wanted to be a great-grandmother and for those 117 final days in her life, she was; he being the only great-grandchild she ever met.

Zlote spent most of that time in the hospital, suffering from congestive heart failure; which eventually claimed her. I have one photograph of her in the hospital sitting in a wheelchair with an oxygen tube connected to her nose. Surrounding her stood my mother and my aunt, with me sitting next to her, holding my son on my lap. Four generations together for one brief moment, captured on film. Only my son and I are still around.

My grandmother was an incredibly strong woman, as a Russian immigrant, non-English speaking, widowed mother of three in the 1930s, she ran her own business. Yet as age took its toll, her later years were filled with regrets. The anniversary of her passing – as well as my own thoughts about aging – caused me to look at my own life, “Do I have any regrets?”

Sure, we all have regrets.

But, at least for me, I’m fortunate; thy are few. God-willing, I’ve still got time to deal with them.

On the website, “Collective Evolution,” I found an article, compiled by a palliative nurse who listed the Top Five Regrets at the end of life. Consider it a cautionary tale. The list follows, each starting with “I wish…” [Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, family, Happiness, Health, Newspaper Column, planning Tagged With: aging, death, family, friends and family, regrets, sad ending

Video: Beautiful Song About Aging by Lukas Graham “Seven Years”

September 19, 2016 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Guilty pleasure alert! My wife and I like watching America’s Got Talent.

(Deal with it.)

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, family, Inspiration, Relationships, Video Tagged With: aging, better relationships, change, inspiration, quality of life, relationships, video

Video: An Older Couple Gives Love Advice

December 19, 2015 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

An older couple discusses with a younger couple what has kept them together – and passes along some great advice.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Baby Boomers, family, Happiness, Relationships, Video Tagged With: close relationships, good relationship, happy life, long term relationship, love, love and happiness, video, what matters, what really matters

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