Change Your Observations to Change Your Life

November 7, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Change your observations; change your attitude.

Change your attitude; change your life.

Attitude is the combination of beliefs and feelings that effect how you view the world and how you react to it.

Beliefs are closely held values accepted as facts and validated by repeat observations.

Therefore, if you change what you look for (observations), you will change your beliefs. If you change your beliefs, you will change your attitude. If you change your attitude, you will change how you react to the world (and therefore how it reacts to you).

If you change how you react to the world, you will change your life.

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Observations after an Accident

November 2, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

This is my 312th column, putting a period on six years.

These thoughts I share every week do not have a “mission statement” or goal per se; however, I always aspire to use the privilege of this space (and your time) to inspire, uplift, and to be supportive in whatever way I can. If I am also able to generate a laugh or two in the process, that makes it all the better. However, whatever my topic, I attempt to tie these dispatches into what I consider the “big picture;” that each of us possesses the ability to be who we wish to be. Whether we indeed want to drop a few pounds, improve our relationships, or just smile more often; the solutions lie not in our actions but in our thoughts, those sparkling connections firing day in and day out between our synapses.

Let’s take that concept a little deeper, shall we?

Our thoughts — to a large extent — are altered by our feelings. If I am angry or sad, my thoughts will be unlike when I am happy or excited. Upbeat folks are more inclined to venture down new avenues than depressed folks; who will lean toward stagnation; both of these due in large extent to underlying emotions. Therefore, it makes sense — at least to me — that the more I accentuate the positive, the more I engage in new behaviors.

Why don’t we do that more often? It’s not that difficult really.

Underneath these thoughts and their triggering feelings lie beliefs. By example, if I believe that life is painful, it’s much more difficult to modify my emotions to find the positive than if I believe life is glorious. Since we are always looking to validate our beliefs, we find “proof” of them wherever we look. One who believes life stinks will uncover countless examples as evidence. Whereby, one who loves life will find an equal number shoring up her philosophy. In effect, what you seek generates emotional responses, altering your thoughts, leading to different actions, adjusting the outcome of your life. Change your observations; change your life.

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Controlling Your Feelings & Emotions

October 31, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Nobody makes us feel anything.

It is a choice. It can be changed.

It’s hard to remember that when we feel something, the truth is we have learned to feel that emotion under those circumstances. Feelings do not just “happen.” In effect, most of the time, our feelings are a habit. And if they are habits, they can be changed.

When you say to someone (for example), “You make me so mad!” You put control over your emotions in someone else’s hands, making you a victim to their whims. A more helpful way to respond is “When you do that, I get angry.” By wording it that way, you empower yourself to change your reaction – while still being honest about how you feel.

The only other option is to give control over your emotions to other people or to external events, in effect abdicating responsibility for how you live and never being able to achieve what you want. [Read more…]

Ted Video: Dan Gilbert asks, Why are we happy?

September 30, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

This is an amazing video! It will take you about 20 minutes but it will give you insights into the difference between natural and synthesized happiness. And what’s most amazing to me is the conclusion Dan Gilbert, the presenter, draws (based on scientific data) about whether we’re happier when we have unlimited choices or when our choices are more narrow. (There are also some profound political implications in what he says at the end.)

Watch it.

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17 Years at my Correct Weight: A Look Back

September 24, 2011 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

As a 17-year-old, I dropped almost 100 pounds, becoming thin for the first time in my life.

By 22, I regained most of it. During that period, I avoided attending meetings, which had worked so well, and therefore suffered the consequences. Funny, isn’t it? You’ll do everything you can — except the one thing that gets you the results you want. Contrary creatures, we humans can be.

Finally returning, I sat in a meeting, embarrassed, ashamed, and sad; a thin, middle age woman addressed the assemblage. “My name’s Betty,” she said, holding up her “before photo,” “I’ve maintained a 100 pound weight loss for ten years.”

“One hundred pounds,” I thought. “I couldn’t even do that for half that time; no way I’ll make it.” It seemed the impossible dream.

This week (Tuesday, 9/27/2011), I am celebrating 17 years at my correct weight, after losing 70 pounds. (I had not regained everything I lost in earlier years; some lessons do stick.)

In these 6,200 plus days since I achieved “goal weight,” I’ve learned much. Space doesn’t allow for everything, yet, there’s room for a few observations; provided in the interest of helping others achieve the success I have been fortunate enough to experience. [Read more…]

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