The rugged Welsh coastline usually fills me with excitement, but today I’m subdued as I stare out at the tranquil sea willing her to rise to my command. The water has been unusually flat for some time and I feel broken, yet the only waves to break are the ones lapping at my feet. I stand with my itching toes in the water, my redundant board clutched against my side like a knife. I feel a stabbing pain which reminds me that my soul waits for me on a crest of a wave. My heart feels as empty as the surfer-less sea.
Dealing with Fear and Lowering Anxiety
When you get scared, focus on Today.
Tomorrow will take care of itself.
Most of the time, fear “lives in the future.” In other words, the vast majority of times, when we get frightened, it’s because we’re thinking about something that might happen, or could happen. Fortunately, it’s usually not happening right now.
If you’re afraid you will not be able to accomplish your goals, that means you’re thinking too far out. Slow yourself down, and go back to the “Think 1st” philosophy:
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Pick 1 Thing
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Make it Small
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Focus on Today
That will calm you down enough to resolve the problem.
Doing the Thing!
I am ablaze! I figured out the final thing I have to do to get my act together!
It’s a new dawn; heaven has opened wide; the path is clear; I am complete! Just picturing it makes me so excited I can barely sit still!
But, here’s the thing about the thing. You can’t just jump into it, you know? I mean, after all, something as grandiose as this requires forethought and meticulous planning. That’s why I’ll be successful where others wouldn’t! See, I have a handle on the fact you just don’t launch willy-nilly hither and yon down the boulevard into something as pressing, essential, and life-altering as a thing like this can be. You better be primed, that’s what I have to say.
And I am! Nothing will hold me back! I’m getting my ducks in a row; putting my house in order; stepping one foot in front of the other; yes sirree Bob! I’m figuring out the flawless, exact method to ensure I do it just so. Don’t want to take my shot and blow it. You hear me, don’t ya’ bro?
In days gone by, I tended to rush without forethought into critical decisions.
Now, being wiser, I know first elicit support. It’s slowing me down somewhat because — well, I don’t mean to brag — but I’m a pretty popular guy, you know? I have friends on top of friends; want to make sure they’re all on board. I’ve called several, emailed buckets more; even posted it on Facebook. That’s the way to build consensus though. It’s time-consuming, but when you’re a forward-thinking guy like me, you appreciate that’s the price of success. Slow and steady; tortoise and hare; you know how it goes.
But after that, watch out, boy howdy! After you heed your peeps, you chart your actions. Those of us in the know value that if you write down the objectives, line ‘em out, set ‘em in motion; they’re far more likely to happen. Measure twice, cut once; right? So, I’ll take a few days for a secluded personal retreat where I compile the input, and write, write, write! [Read more…]
One Perfect Day
I fly a great deal.
Well, that’s not exactly accurate; I am in airplanes a great deal. They fly. I merely constrict my five-feet-eight-inches of body into about three-feet-seven-inches of space for four hours 18 minutes of discomfort, late arrivals, and poor service. It’s a privilege for which I pay a great deal of money.
To alleviate the numbness in my limbs, I think of walking.
However scrambling and stumbling over three other contorted travelers to stagger sloth like down a scrawny center aisle following a unhurriedly moving food cart with attendants lobbing over-priced “box meals” to ravenous twisted travelers doesn’t sound advantageous. Therefore, I read.
One of the airlines on which I frequently endure travel has a regular feature in their magazine. It lays out how to spend a few “perfect days” in an exotic city. For example, “three perfect days in Paris,” or “four perfect days in Bangkok.” They have yet to list “six perfect days in Eureka” but I am sure it is soon to be.
My internal recovering perfectionist is intrigued by the very concept of a “perfect day.”
Video: Patrick Donadio on How to get Past Overthinking a Conversation
This is the seventh in a series of Friday Motivational videos with successful people discussing with Scott how to get past what holds you back. In a hallway meeting at a conference, Scott “Q” Marcus talks with nationally recognized speaker, communication expert, author, and coach Patrick Donadio on how to get past overthinking a conversation.
[Read more…]




