The rugged Welsh coastline usually fills me with excitement, but today I’m subdued as I stare out at the tranquil sea willing her to rise to my command. The water has been unusually flat for some time and I feel broken, yet the only waves to break are the ones lapping at my feet. I stand with my itching toes in the water, my redundant board clutched against my side like a knife. I feel a stabbing pain which reminds me that my soul waits for me on a crest of a wave. My heart feels as empty as the surfer-less sea.