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You are here: Home / Archives for Self Talk

The Importance of Loving Yourself at Any Size

July 26, 2012 by Featured Author Leave a Comment

By guest author Susan Wells

No matter how much you weigh, you’re a special, beautiful, interesting person.

If you want to lose weight to improve your health and change your physical appearance, I commend you and want you to know that losing weight will have a tremendous, positive impact on your life. However, it’s important to keep in mind that losing weight won’t necessarily magically give you the self-confidence you always wanted. Self-confidence comes from loving yourself, at any size and no matter how you look. It comes from loving your mind, body, and heart.

I’ve struggled with my weight for practically my whole life.

At 26, I was morbidly obese, and I was seriously considering getting bariatric surgery. I wanted so badly to be able to start over as a thin person. I wanted a second chance to eat right, exercise enough, and stay healthy. I talked to my doctor about the risks of the surgery, and I started fantasizing about how great it would be to be thin. Then I called my insurance company and realized they wouldn’t cover bariatric surgery, which they considered to be a “cosmetic” surgery. I was crushed.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, Exercise, Guest Author, Inspiration, mental health, Overcoming Obstacles, Self Talk, Weight Loss Tagged With: attitude, calories, diet, emotions, exercise, guest author, healthy eating habits, losing weight, perfectionism, self acceptance, self confidence

Using The Human Condition To Make A Change

July 24, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

By guest author Josh Landson

Many people have equated human nature with human condition and use this connection to justify delaying or outright avoiding difficult decisions. The fact of the matter is that the phrases are very different from one another. Human nature refers to the instincts that we have: the ways in which we act and think without the influence of our upbringing and culture. The human condition is the opposite of human nature: it is a combination of the social, personal, and cultural aspects of our being. The human condition is extremely important in our lives because it allows us to rise above our nature.

When a person says that human nature is the reason they cannot make a decision in their lives, they should be challenging themselves to overcome their biological design. In many cases, a person resigns themselves to their fate, stating that ‘whatever happens, happens.’ However, the reason that human beings have achieved so much in our short history and triumphed above all other organisms is that we strive beyond what is expected of us and do what seems impossible. For many people, settling for whatever happens is a defense mechanism. If you do not make a decision, you do not have to be responsible for the repercussions.

In order to get past this monumental roadblock, a person has to tap into their human condition.

It requires a complete change in the way you think. If you are avoiding change and denying decision making, you have to realize that your action is in itself a decision! The decision you are making is not to act. Thus the consequences are your responsibility just the same as if you had acted.

There is another reason why people avoid or delay making a change.

Most of the time, people do not trust themselves over a decision. They think they aren’t good enough, smart enough, strong enough, and so on. This insecurity plagues every individual and it takes a lot of mental courage to overcome it. However, our human condition tells us that we are capable of achieving great things. If you are going to make a monumental decision, take a minute to do a mental exercise: take all of your presuppositions about your weakness to be true, and picture what the worst outcome would be. Now think about how you can rebuild from that outcome. You will find soon enough that your human condition allows you to work out any problem if you apply enough effort and determination.

Lastly, if you are still hesitant about making a change in your life, think about the historical precedents we have. Think about what would have happened if Martin Luther King Jr. was too afraid to make a stand for civil rights, or if Gandhi didn’t fight for the poor, or if no one stood up to the likes of Hitler. There have been many life changing events in history that wouldn’t have occurred without some very brave people. And you have the exact same human nature as them! Avoiding and delaying decision making will lead to a lot of mental turmoil and self-doubt. Although you may be uncertain about a change in your life, if you do not venture down that path it is something you’re likely to regret for a long time.
[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Guest Author, Happiness, Overcoming Obstacles, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Self Talk Tagged With: change, consequences, courage, defense mechanism, difficult decisions, insecurity, lifestyle change, motivation

Labeling Results Determines Future Results

July 19, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Recently, I stumbled upon some noteworthy details.

First factoid: Supposedly (I say “supposedly” as I’m not sure of its veracity), the average overweight American needs to shed 38 pounds to level the scales at his correct weight. Obviously, some must lose more, and some less. Yet, should one take the collective poundage our citizenry must remove to be healthy, and divide it by the number of citizens who must drop those pounds; the resulting number would be just shy of 40.

Factoid two: That same “average American,” upon deciding to rid himself of the above mentioned 38 pounds, usually quits prior to 16 weeks; a shade less than four months.

The final datum is that — despite pie-in-the-sky claims made by “miracle weight loss cures” falsely proclaiming one can drop five to ten pounds a week — an “average” healthy, sustainable (two important distinctions) weight loss is between one-half and two pounds per week. Let’s split the difference down the middle and declare that number to be one and a quarter pounds every seven days.

From these bits of information, we can make a central deduction.

If the “average person” desirous of losing the “average amount of weight” sheds the “average amount per week” and quits in the “average number of weeks,” he will be approximately half way to his goal when he throws in the towel. (Sixteen weeks multiplied by 1.25 pounds per week = 20 pounds; just the other side of the midway point of 38.)

This prompts a quasi-philosophical question: Is one a “success” or “failure” if she drops 20 pounds, when in actuality, her goal is 38? It’s one of those “half-empty, half-full” scenarios.

The greater issue is not how many pounds one might lose, but how one views how many pounds she has lost.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Beliefs, Diet, Newspaper Column, Overcoming Perfectionsim, Power of Attitude, Self Talk, Weight Loss Tagged With: attitude, correct weight, diet, emotions, motivation, perception is reality, perfectionism, philosophical question, scales, successes

Value Versus Size

July 11, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

Being bigger doesn’t mean being more valuable.

For example, the largest number with a name is the Googolplexian, a “1” followed by so many zeros that Carl Sagan said it would be physically impossible to write them all down because there simply isn’t enough room in the universe. Moreover, it’s said that if you filled the universe with dust particles, the number of different combinations in which you could arrange and number these particles would be far less than a googolplexian. (Why you want to do that is a completely different question.)

It makes one’s brain hurt just thinking about it.

On a more human scale of “bigness,” I recently visited the Spruce Goose, technically the “H-4 Hercules Flying Boat,” constructed by Howard Hughes after World War II. Among other facts, I learned that this ginormous plane (which only flew once) is made of Birch, not Spruce; has piles of beach balls in its wings and belly to keep it afloat should it spring a leak; and that although it was constructed over 60 years ago, no modern plane has a larger wingspan. (There are a few that are slightly longer.)

As a sullen teen, hardly inspired by anything, I visited the Grand Canyon. Yet, even in my perennial “no big deal” mood, the grandeur of this world wonder broke through, partially due to its vastness. Large structures like the Hoover Dam or Golden Gate Bridge still take away my breath.

“Big” is impressive; there’s no way around it.

Maybe it puts us in perspective; I don’t know. Nonetheless, we are drawn to it.

However, it’s essential to understand the difference between size and value.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Diet, Exercise, mental health, Newspaper Column, Psychology, Self Talk, Weight Loss Tagged With: diet, fat acceptance, health, self image, weight prejudice

Forward or Backwards: A Conversation About Weight Loss

June 27, 2012 by Scott "Q" Marcus Leave a Comment

“Dang! I’ve been really careful on my diet and I haven’t lost a pound. I’m ready to give up the whole thing and toss the stupid scale through the window.”

“That’s kind of killing the messenger, isn’t it?”

“You miss the point. I’m eating healthy. I’m working out like a machine – and this is the result I get? Might as well just go back to how I was before.”

“I don’t know if that makes sense.”

“Why not?”

“You’re not losing now — and you’re being careful. If you just throw caution to the wind, won’t it get worse? I mean; I understand how frustrated you are, putting in all that work and having disappointing results; but it seems that’s better than gaining.”

“I’m not saying I’ll go put my weight back on. I’ll just — you know — cruise for a while. Stop trying so hard and stressing about the number, I’ll maintain. Then, when I’m ready, I’ll get back to losing.”

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure.”

“If you know how to maintain your weight, why do you need to lose 30 pounds?”

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Change, Diet, Newspaper Column, Self Talk, Weight Loss Tagged With: diet, frustration, habit change, healthier lifestyle, how to maintain your weight, lifestyle change, motivation, obesity, weight loss

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